I thought that was a little uncalled for

[Despina83]

This woman comes through my lane with a little girl who looks like she's about three years old. While the woman is busy unloading the cart, the girl snatches a pack of candy off the rack, runs over, and thrusts it up at me. This happens sometimes, little kids grab something off the shelf when the mom's not looking, thinking that I'll just ring it up for them behind their back. And then the mom's see what they're up to and yell at them. So I just continued scanning the groceries and waited for the mom to turn around so that she would either tell her to put it back or say something like, "Just set it on the belt, she'll give it back to you", or maybe "could you scan that for her? She wants to hold on to it." But like I said, from what I saw it looked like the kid just randomly grabbed something behind mom's back, so I waited for a few seconds. Well, then the kid goes, "MO-OM!!!" Then the mom said, "Yeah, she's not paying any attention to you, right now." Okay, maybe I should have asked the mom if she wanted to buy the candy, but I thought that was unessesarily bitchy.

[Evil Queen]

uh... I think the woman was saying that to the kid, I don't think she intended to make you upset. My mom would sometimes do that to me when I wanted something and the cashier would wait to see if it was something that was okay or not.

Basically, i think the woman was telling her kid to chill out without saying those exact words.

But that's juw how I would take it.....

[Apathy]

I would take it poorly as well. But I'm prone to do that, anymore.

[Despina83]

I considered that of course, but from the way she said it definetely seemed like she meant it that way. I could be wrong, but that was my impression from her tone.

[rerant]

Even if the mom meant it in a way that was basically saying "chill out" the way I take it is the same as the parents who tell their kids that the "mean" cashier is taking away the toy they were allowed to hold through the entire shopping trip, but that mommy and daddy had never planned on paying for.
Basically passing blame onto the cashier while they devise a "good guy" plan to keep the child from getting what they want, while at the same time keeping them from freaking out so they, the parents, don't have to deal with their kid being angry at them.

[ArcticChicken]

The way I usually handle finding candy on the belt, if I'm not sure the parents gave it to them is to put it aside and ask the parent if they wanted to get it when I caught their eye. I've never had a kid hand me candy when I wasn't sure it was OK with the parent, though, so I'm not sure how I'd deal with that.

[SpyOne]

It takes YEARS to get this way:

(Looking directly at the Mom): "Oh, I'm sorry, did you want me to ring that up for you?"
(to the little girl, while taking the bag to scan it): "Most people just set their stuff up on this counter, so I know they want me to ring it up. Or, if they have trouble reaching, they ask their mom to help them."
(After it has scanned, while handing it back to the girl): there you go. Thank You. (and a bright smile)

Little girl was rude, but she's 3 and may genuinely not know any better.
Mom was being rude, and needs to be scolded, but her daughter doesn't need to know that mom's getting scolded.

The problem is, by the time you have put in the years required to get that way, word like "rude bitch, I wish you would DIE" tend to leap to the front of your brain and crowd out the other words.

[blas]

I think the "impulse" items by cash reigsters are the true Devil's Play Things.

Honest to Pete, I cannot count the number of times kids were well behaved UNTIL they got to the impulse candy and little toys at the checkout. I also lost count of how many people were all "OMFG! SOAP OPERA DIGEST!" and got so engrossed in reading that they lost all focus on checking out.....

[Ironclad Alibi]

This woman comes through my lane with a little girl who looks like she's about three years old. While the woman is busy unloading the cart, the girl snatches a pack of candy off the rack, runs over, and thrusts it up at me. This happens sometimes, little kids grab something off the shelf when the mom's not looking, thinking that I'll just ring it up for them behind their back. ...

Back when I was of a tender age (5 or 6), I was shopping with my mom and wanted her to buy a jar of paste for me. She didn't want to. When she wasn't looking, I slipped the paste into my pocket. When we got to the checkout, I slipped it onto the checkout counter, then back into my pocket after it was rung up, all while she and the cashier were looking elsewhere.

Alas, my carefully executed scheme came to nought after we got home. When I started using the paste, I was caught. I had to explain that she did indeed pay for it, and that I did not steal it. This was long before itemized receipts. And the paste was confiscated.

Life events such as this have kept me limited to the honest professions.

[Boozy]

I had to explain that she did indeed pay for it, and that I did not steal it.

"MOM! There is totally a difference between fraud and theft! Geez!"

What a cute story.

[Jay 2K Winger]

Ah, children. I both love and despise them.

I despise them because they can be loud, rude, and completely out of control if left in the care of a parent who doesn't know how to discipline them. Especially if they're in the habit of spoiling their children, but then, while at my store, look at whatever knick-knack, video, or toy their little demon spawn has grabbed, and use the dreaded N-word. ("No.") CUE THE SCREAMING FIT.

Around the holidays, you see a marked increase in cases of what I like to call "S.K.S." (That's Screaming Kid Syndrome.)

Still, I love kids, too, because they can be so darn cute, and I just have a natural rapport with children. Kids just seem to like me. As I like to put it, children have one of three reactions to my giving them a smile, a hello, and a wave.
(1) They smile and return the greeting.
(2) They get shy and turn away.
(3) They get the "deer in headlights" look.

When I see a little kid holding tightly to their Dora The Explorer DVD, or whatever, I look up at the parent and make sure they're actually planning to buy it. If the answer is yes, I'll take my portable scan-gun and say to the child, "I just need to see this for a second, all right?" Then I gently take it from them, scan it, and then hand it back. "There you go."

If the item was on the belt, and they get all "Give it to me give it to me" after they see it, I'll again glance to Mom or Dad to make sure it's okay to give it to them. Once I get that nod or confirmation, I always make sure the kid says "please," or at least "thank you," before I give it to them.

Kid: "Give it to me give it to me!"
Me: "And what do we say?"
Kid: "...?"
Parent: (prompting) "What's the magic word?"
Kid: "...please?"
Me: (handing it to them) "And now we say?"
Kid: "...thank you?"
Me: "All right. There you go."

I feel it never hurts to reinforce the manners in this day and age. But I'll never just hand something to a grabby kid unless they say please or thank you first. If Mom or Dad then picks it up and gives it to them anyway, well, I've done all I can.

I'm not averse to taking something away from a grabby kid, though. One time this little boy snatched the receipt out of my hand. I looked at him sternly, snatched it away from him, and -- looking pointedly at him while I did so -- handed it to his mother, then told him, "Don't snatch." The mother nodded approvingly.

Jay 2K Winger, cashier, loss prevention worker, and child wrangler.