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The following is a long story about my first real encounter with Compaq tech support.
The first computer we had was purchased in '94. If I remember correctly it had a whopping 4MB RAM. I had no experience with computers. To say I was a bit overwhelmed would be putting it mildly. The first time I sat before this intimidating piece of plastic my heart was pounding, my palms were sweating and I was positive I would completely destroy the entire motherboard with just one wrong keystroke.
It was loaded with Windows 3.1 - I had no idea at all what the heck they meant by windows. So, I decided to face my fears and just started clicking on everything I could find. I would get on the computer everyday and go through the tutorials. They were really very helpful.
We soon graduated to our second computer. By this time I was much more comfortable with a PC. The only thing was, when I chose the perfect spot for this monstrosity it happened to be the same corner where I usually put my Christmas tree. My livingroom is rather small and there's really only one spot for the tree...but come Christmastime, there's that damn computer in the way. So, I moved it to a different spot so I could put up the tree.
The next day I could not get online. No matter what I tried I would just keep getting this error message that the modem could not be found. Now, I didn't hide the modem and I was positive my son hadn't either. But it obviously was lost somehow!
The PC was still under warranty so I decided to call tech support. I was still wet behind the ears concerning PC lingo but the guy on the other end of the phone was a jewel. I was pleasant and trying to be funny when I told him I had moved my PC from one spot to another and somehow lost my modem. (It was an internal modem.) He chuckled and said, "the modem is still there, it probably has just gotten loose during the move."
He asked, "Do you feel comfortable removing the cover on your tower?"
Me: "Ahhhhh...I guess so."
Tech: "Don't worry. I'll walk ya through it."
Me: "okay......."
So, I get down on my hands and knees to begin and he says: "Don't forget to unplug it first!"
Now, keep in mind that I'm not as young as I used to be and my eyesight isn't the greatest. It was evening in December, so it was dark...and my eyes are even worse without daylight to work with. So, I told the tech: "I'm going to have to go get a brighter light so I can see what I'm doing."
Tech: "Okay."
I go get the light, set it on the floor next to the tower and start taking the screws out of the cover. Once the screws were out I couldn't figure out how the damn cover came off.
Tech: "You should see something that looks like half a wheel. If you push down on that you should be able to get the cover to slide off toward the back of the tower."
Me: "Oh, I found it...that did the trick." (Yay me!!!)
Tech: "You got the cover off?"
Me: "Yes."
Tech: "Okay. Now you're going to look for something that looks like a circuit board. It'll be about 4" x 5" in size." (This is all from memory, so I'm not positive about the specifics.)
Me: "I see a few of them. Which one is it?"
Tech: "It should be the last one...on the bottom."
At this point my portable phone starts beeping at me, indicating my battery was about to give up the ghost.
Me: "I'm sorry. My phone is about to go dead. I'm going to have to get the other phone."
Tech: "Go ahead."
By this time I'm sure he's thinking...WHAT A NIMROD!
Me: "Okay, I'm back. Now you said it should be the last board on the bottom?"
Tech: "That's right...do you see it?"
It's at this moment, while I'm lying on the floor trying to hold the corded phone strung from the kitchen between my shoulder and my ear, that my cat decides he wants to mark me with his scent glands in his face. He's lovingly rubbing his cheeks all over my chin and nose, purring up a storm.
Tech: "What is that? Do you have a cat?"
Me: "Yeah. He's decided he's going to help me."
Tech: "I can hear him purring. LOL!"
Me: "Sorry about that...cat, go away!"
Tech: Still laughing.
Me: "Okay. I think I know which board it is. What do I do now?"
Tech: "Just grab it, pull it out then immediately push it back in. That will reset it."
Me: "Oh jeez...alright. Here goes." I did as I was told.
Tech: "Did ya do it?"
Me: "Yep."
Tech: "Can you get online while you're on the phone or do you have dial-up?"
Me: "No, I have dial-up."
Tech: "Well, then I guess we'll have to get off the line so you can see if that did the trick. If not, call us back, my name is very patient tech guy and your ticket no. is ________."
I was on the phone with him for at least a half-hour and he was as sweet as could be. I'm sure he and his co-techs had a good laugh about the crazy cat lady who lost her modem.
His solution did work BTW.
The first computer we had was purchased in '94. If I remember correctly it had a whopping 4MB RAM. I had no experience with computers. To say I was a bit overwhelmed would be putting it mildly. The first time I sat before this intimidating piece of plastic my heart was pounding, my palms were sweating and I was positive I would completely destroy the entire motherboard with just one wrong keystroke.
It was loaded with Windows 3.1 - I had no idea at all what the heck they meant by windows. So, I decided to face my fears and just started clicking on everything I could find. I would get on the computer everyday and go through the tutorials. They were really very helpful.
We soon graduated to our second computer. By this time I was much more comfortable with a PC. The only thing was, when I chose the perfect spot for this monstrosity it happened to be the same corner where I usually put my Christmas tree. My livingroom is rather small and there's really only one spot for the tree...but come Christmastime, there's that damn computer in the way. So, I moved it to a different spot so I could put up the tree.
The next day I could not get online. No matter what I tried I would just keep getting this error message that the modem could not be found. Now, I didn't hide the modem and I was positive my son hadn't either. But it obviously was lost somehow!
The PC was still under warranty so I decided to call tech support. I was still wet behind the ears concerning PC lingo but the guy on the other end of the phone was a jewel. I was pleasant and trying to be funny when I told him I had moved my PC from one spot to another and somehow lost my modem. (It was an internal modem.) He chuckled and said, "the modem is still there, it probably has just gotten loose during the move."
He asked, "Do you feel comfortable removing the cover on your tower?"
Me: "Ahhhhh...I guess so."
Tech: "Don't worry. I'll walk ya through it."
Me: "okay......."
So, I get down on my hands and knees to begin and he says: "Don't forget to unplug it first!"
Now, keep in mind that I'm not as young as I used to be and my eyesight isn't the greatest. It was evening in December, so it was dark...and my eyes are even worse without daylight to work with. So, I told the tech: "I'm going to have to go get a brighter light so I can see what I'm doing."
Tech: "Okay."
I go get the light, set it on the floor next to the tower and start taking the screws out of the cover. Once the screws were out I couldn't figure out how the damn cover came off.
Tech: "You should see something that looks like half a wheel. If you push down on that you should be able to get the cover to slide off toward the back of the tower."
Me: "Oh, I found it...that did the trick." (Yay me!!!)
Tech: "You got the cover off?"
Me: "Yes."
Tech: "Okay. Now you're going to look for something that looks like a circuit board. It'll be about 4" x 5" in size." (This is all from memory, so I'm not positive about the specifics.)
Me: "I see a few of them. Which one is it?"
Tech: "It should be the last one...on the bottom."
At this point my portable phone starts beeping at me, indicating my battery was about to give up the ghost.
Me: "I'm sorry. My phone is about to go dead. I'm going to have to get the other phone."
Tech: "Go ahead."
By this time I'm sure he's thinking...WHAT A NIMROD!
Me: "Okay, I'm back. Now you said it should be the last board on the bottom?"
Tech: "That's right...do you see it?"
It's at this moment, while I'm lying on the floor trying to hold the corded phone strung from the kitchen between my shoulder and my ear, that my cat decides he wants to mark me with his scent glands in his face. He's lovingly rubbing his cheeks all over my chin and nose, purring up a storm.
Tech: "What is that? Do you have a cat?"
Me: "Yeah. He's decided he's going to help me."
Tech: "I can hear him purring. LOL!"
Me: "Sorry about that...cat, go away!"
Tech: Still laughing.
Me: "Okay. I think I know which board it is. What do I do now?"
Tech: "Just grab it, pull it out then immediately push it back in. That will reset it."
Me: "Oh jeez...alright. Here goes." I did as I was told.
Tech: "Did ya do it?"
Me: "Yep."
Tech: "Can you get online while you're on the phone or do you have dial-up?"
Me: "No, I have dial-up."
Tech: "Well, then I guess we'll have to get off the line so you can see if that did the trick. If not, call us back, my name is very patient tech guy and your ticket no. is ________."
I was on the phone with him for at least a half-hour and he was as sweet as could be. I'm sure he and his co-techs had a good laugh about the crazy cat lady who lost her modem.
His solution did work BTW.
I AM the evil bastard!
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