Generational Differences

[JuniorMintz]

I know I could probably be pissed at this, but at worst, it's mildly offensive. At best, it's adorable... I was laughing my butt off in the car on our way home!

I was grocery shopping with my husband the other day, and as I was purchasing 2 bottles of wine, the cashier requested to see an I.D. (Side note, but this store has ALWAYS been weird when it comes to I.D. time. It's like they have no solid policy in place... one person never checks, one insists on checking *both* our cards, most are fine once one I.D. has been presented. One time I had my I.D out before I was asked, and when I offered to show it the lady waved it away and said the fact that I was that prepared showed I was clearly mature enough to make the purchase! LOL)

This lady was older-if I had to make a guess I'd say early 70's? My husband and I were standing side by side at the register, and while I already had my I.D out, she requested his. This was no big deal because again, this store occasionally will ask to see both, so I waited my turn. She looked at his I.D, handed it back, looked at the both of us, and then this happened.

Cashier: You two are married? She's your wife?

Hubby: Yup. (He's a man of few words, LOL)

Cashier: Ok then, since you're her husband you can be responsible for her! I'll go ahead and authorize the purchase for you two. (Continues transaction with a huge friendly smile on her face).

We both smiled back, and I almost bit a hole in my cheek to keep from laughing or running my mouth off. Still, WTF was that supposed to mean, anyway? Here are my theories...

1. Although all booze purchased in our home is for me, she had no way of knowing that as we hadn't seen her before. (My husband doesn't drink at ALL.) Maybe she was making an awkwardly delivered joke about him having to deal with my drunk ass all the time? (which I don't take offense to, as it's true!)

2. Could she possibly think I look *underage*?!? For crying out loud, I'll be *30* next month! My husband appears older than me, which is hilarious because I'm actually the older one in the relationship (by 6 months, but still!). If that's the case, I'm hugely flattered, although concerned that she may be in need of cataract surgery soon.

3. As suggested in the thread title, this could simply be a generational difference. Maybe I've been watching too much Mad Men lately, but I've been fascinated by that era lately and it's ability to show situations involving terrible issues like racism and sexism and somehow make them look not just quaint, but downright *adorable*. The way women were talked down to by the men in their lives (husbands, doctors, bankers, etc) was accepted as routine. This lady could be the Betty Draper to my Peggy Olsen!

Or maybe she's just a crazy old person. Either way, it was obvious she was trying to make friendly small talk, so I couldn't bring myself to be offended about it.

Still, WTF?!?!?

[Andara Bledin]

Did this woman ever actually look at your ID? Or did she just ask to see his?

^-.-^

[Lace Neil Singer]

Or maybe she was just delighted at meeting a young married couple, since so many people choose to co-habit these days instead? XD

I've met people who are surprised at my family's quaint habit of getting married (two of my brothers are married, and I'm engaged) cuz apparently it's a bit "old fashioned" nowadays to marry rather than live together.

[sms001]

I'm thinking it was a backhanded compliment. She seems to be implying that you seem/look young enough that having someone (anyone really - Mom, Aunt, Dad, etc.) older with you was a good thing, even given that she seems to think that you're old enough to meet the legalities. So maybe not sexist, convoluted?

[MoonCat]

I....can't work that out to be a compliment no matter how hard I try. I'm glad you weren't offended because I don't think she meant to be offensive, but I confess that would have annoyed me.

[Seshat]

My grandmother was born in the first decade of the 20th Century, and so most of her life - and all her developing-years - were spent during the era when women were struggling to have anything even remotely equal-rights-ish.

She essentially belonged first to her father, then to her husband. And yes, they made the major decisions - right through the 1950s, 1960s... until Granddad divorced her.

And she had to learn to become independent in a hurry.

She learned from her daughters. My mother and aunts (four sisters, no brothers) had to teach her everything from how to pay a bill to how to mow her lawn. She had been the perfect 'housewife': it was how she was raised, and how Granddad expected it.

There are still people alive today for whom that mindset is normal. I suspect JuniorMintz ran into one.

[Marmalady]

*nods* One of the women I work with told me she'd had a dreadful time with her mother after her father died suddenly. She had never been out to work since the day she got married. He had the job, the bank account, the driving licence. By all accounts he had always been kind and generous, but he'd over-protected her.
She only vaguely knew where he worked, even. She didn't know about insurances, life policies, whether he'd made a will. Every question about financial affairs was met with a tearful 'I don't know'.
With the help of their solicitor, who by all accounts was marvellous, they got it all sorted out in the end, but.... As my CW said, "Whenever I get fed up at having to sort out an insurance or query a bank charge or deal with a utility.... I think of Mum and I'm glad I know how to go about these things".

[tropicsgoddess]

My guess was she still was in the old school mindset where the husband was the breadwinner and held the purse strings type of deal. My maternal grandmother stayed home, raised all 5 kids (my mother and uncles) and did the housework while my grandfather went out and worked. My future GMIL she worked as a secretary but once she got pregnant they let her go (that was the thing back in the 50's....pregnant women weren't protected like they are now with jobs) and she stayed at home raising all 3 kids until all the kids came of age and out of high school and started working again until she retired.