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"All this pink fuzz on my hand, I look like I just fisted a Muppet."
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Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.
"I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily -
Legendary Workday!
"Uuuuuuugh.... another meeting? fuuuck me...."
"how you want it?"
"Um... yeeeea.... I can't reduce a body"
"...to my office now"
"Wait... is this for the bathroom sex? Cause I legit told her not to get up there!"
"Uh no... T.O. reports actually, but thanks for that!"
"How do you tell your boss you wanna quit?"
"I prefer the Office Space method... (if ya boss is an S O B, tell em to S H O V E da Jay Oh Bee!)"
"Mind... Blown!!"
"Right in the head and ass!"
"We do love head and asses"
"Dat ass tho!!"
"Holy shit man, how can this be a Monday...?"
"Well ya see yesterday was Sunday and tomorrow is Tuesday... so that means..."
"...omg shut up or I'll eat your soul!"
"Oooohh feisty! Me Likey! Call me Janet, miss Jackson if ya nasty!!!"
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"I'm going to use the bathroom and fill my water bottle. Not at the same time!"This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."
I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.Comment
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That's the straw that made the camel crumbleComment
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"I was too busy fingering myself to get that paper ready."Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.Comment
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I need a receipt.
What, don't you trust me?
It's not that, it's for the IRS, they don't trust ME.Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you speak with the Fraud department. -- CrazedClerkthe2nd
OW! Rolled my eyes too hard, saw my brain. -- Seanette
she seems to top me in crazy, and I'm enough crazy for my family. -- Cooper
Yes, I am evil. What's your point? -- JesterComment
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"I thought I wasn't me?""Man, having a conversation with you is like walking through a salvador dali painting." - Mac HallComment
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"Never piss off a guy who buys his ink by the gallon""For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
"The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
"Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
"There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
"Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
"Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
"Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - meComment
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"Attention customers. You may have noticed the lights turning off. That is because the store is CLOSED. Stop gawking at the vast cereal possibilities and come to the registers. We will be open tomorrow, I promise.""I am quite confident that I do exist."
"Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The DoctorComment
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Him: Every time you come over here you ALWAYS gotta mess with it. And every time, it pinches you.
Me: and what does that tell you about me?
Him: ...I'm not even gonna go there..."Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages." - Terry Pratchett
Emissary of Minong - my blog and its Facebook pageComment
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Zomg Coke just brought back Surge today!!!
Really?
Hell yea!! I feel like I just struck gold and I need to pour it in a vault and Scrooge McDuck it!!Comment
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"Someone's playing with my bag."This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."
I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.Comment
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"Put your small package in there."This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."
I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.Comment
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Office Manager: "[He] is my male enhancement!""For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
"The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
"Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
"There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
"Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
"Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
"Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - meComment
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