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Use your words, doc
Today we dosed a patient for hyperactive thyroid. Because we're giving a highly radioactive pill that is designed to destroy a (somewhat) major organ, there is a ton of paperwork involved. We don't do these too terribly often (thank gord), but often enough we know what paperwork we need to have.
Written directive for the isotope. Check.
Written order for the procedure. Check.
Negative pregnancy test because the patient was female and of childbearing age. Check.
Instructions on how to minimize radiation exposure to others for the next few days signed by the patient. Check.
Ducks are in a row. Now all we need to do is call the radiologist to come down and actually administer the drug. We'll call him Dr Prick.
Dr Prick: So everything's signed? What about the permit?
Jedi: We have everything we need so we're ready for you.
Dr Prick gets down to the department and rifles through the paperwork. Now imagine the following with the condescending doctor tone so many of them seem to have.
Dr Prick: I don't see the permit. Where is the permit?
Jedi: This is all the paperwork we have. I'm not sure exactly what you're asking for.
Dr Prick: *tone like I'm a very small, stupid child* The permit that allows me to do this procedure.
Jedi: You mean our radioactive materials license? You're on it and authorized to give <amount> of <drug>.
Dr Prick: Noooo.....go ask in Vascular. They'll know what it is.
Well, Jedi's understanding is that Vascular is part of the Ultrasound department, which is conveniently right next door. They have no idea what he's talking about and neither do I. Turns out what Dr Prick wanted was a consent form that was used in Interventional Radiology. It also turns out that while other departments throughout the system use this form, we don't and never have. Why? I dunno. But state and the NRC never seemed to have a problem with us not using it.
Of course, had he called it a consent form and told me Interventional Radiology had them, I would have known what he meant. Somehow I'm sure it's all my fault I don't speak whatever language he was speaking. Cuz it sure wasn't English.
Do not confuse the Rad
Later on in the afternoon, Dr Prick finally got around to dictating dosing this patient. I had already gone home for the day, but I picked up a couple hours on call to cover the gap between the time we finished up and the call tech went on call. So I got a call at home. Dr Prick was going through the scanned documents and found one he didn't recognize.
For a bit of background, there is a form given to females of childbearing age that basically states they know they're getting radiation exposure and if they happen to be pregnant, it could harm the baby. By signing it, they are agreeing to the procedure anyway and absolving us of any responsibility if they are pregnant and it causes problems for the baby. We also never see it. That form gets taken care of at the front desk and scanned into the computer. We can see the scanned docs from our station, but we never get a physical copy of the paper.
So Dr Prick is freaking out because he never saw this paper and apparently the lady put down there was a possibility she was pregnant. Sexually active female of childbearing age who hasn't had a total hysterectomy, yeah there's a chance. Birth control methods can fail, after all. I did see the form in the scanned docs, but she also filled out the form before she got the pregnancy test. Which was negative.
Dr Prick: *again with the condescending doctor tone* Are you the one who interviewed this patient?
Jedi: No, <coworker> was, but I might be able to answer your question.
Dr Prick: I'm seeing this form where she put she might be pregnant.
Jedi: Yes, but the girls at the front desk take care of that. We don't get a copy.
Dr Prick: I never saw this paper! She put "yes"!
Jedi: That's normal. We never see it either.
Dr Prick: You're sure that's normal that I didn't see it.
Jedi: Yes. We got an HCG test which was negative anyway. **Note: we wouldn't have done the procedure if we didn't have a negative HCG. Period.**
Dr Prick: I understand that, but I never saw this.
Jedi: The front desk handles that. All they do is get the form and scan it in. We have nothing to do with it.
Dr Prick: Is <coworker> there?
Jedi: She's probably at home, but I can have her call you.
Dr Prick: Great, thanks.
So I was a bad Jedi and let my coworker handle it.
I've lost all patience dealing with him today. She told him the same thing I did. Maybe she's not an idiot like I am and that's why he believed her and not me. And to make him happy, we're changing our paperwork. Even though he'll probably be the only one who asks for that particular form, and may never ask for it again.
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