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an oldie I just remembered

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  • an oldie I just remembered

    Its show and tell and each of the children does their part and sits down, the teacher finally gets to the last child, named Johnny, he gets up, hands clenched together, and stands near the teachers desk, opening his hand, a large black spider crawls out and sits there on the desk
    'What are you doing Johnny?' the teacher asks
    'Just watch miss' Johnny replies, before looking at the spider 'Spider, walk forward' Johnny said, slowly and clearly, the spider walked forward a few inches then stopped
    'That's amazing' the teacher said
    'There's more miss' Johnny said 'Spider, walk backwards' The spider, without hesitating and without turning around, walked backwards to its original position, the teacher is gobsmacked
    'Spider walk left' Johnny commands and the spider begins walking much like a crab, stopping again after a few inches 'Spider, walk right' The spider obeys
    'This is incredible!' The teacher says
    'There's more' Johnny remarks. Johnny then picks up the spider and, one by one, pulls off each of its legs, the spider doesn't seem to protest. Johnny then sets it down on the desk again
    'Now, spider, go forward' Johnny commands, the spider just sits there
    'Spider, go backwards' The spider still remains motionless
    'Go left' Johnny says, still no response
    'Go right' Johnny commands, the spider remains motionless
    'Johnny, I don't understand, what is the point of this?' The teacher asks
    'The point miss, is that when you pull the legs off a spider, it goes deaf'

    *the poster was beaten by cactus-wielding psychopaths for this horrible attempt at humour*
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