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Major Male Ego

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  • Major Male Ego

    An ant is walking through the jungle when he meets an elephant standing with one foreleg off the ground. “What’s the matter, Mrs. Elephant?” he asks. “I have a big thorn in my foot and I can’t get it out” the elephant replies. “Hold still a moment and I’ll see if I can get it out,” the ant offers helpfully. “Oh, if you could I would be so grateful!” the elephant responds.

    With the thorn out of her foot the grateful elephant is now back on all fours. “Thank you very much,” she says to the ant, “and if ever there is anything I can do for you, you just let me know!” The ant smiles and shuffles his feet a bit nervously. “Well, now that you mention it, there IS something I’ve always wanted to do with an elephant.” The elephant considers the ant’s request for a moment and thinks to herself, “What can it possibly hurt?” So she allows the ant to indulge himself while she goes back to her feeding, paying no attention to what the ant is doing, and the ant paying no attention to what the elephant is doing.

    As the elephant continues her browsing she unwittingly makes her way toward a tall coconut tree whose branches are inhabited by a very large gorilla. From up in the tree the gorilla recognizes the elephant as the one who ate his entire stash of bananas the week before. The gorilla, still angry about the loss, is determined to get his revenge, so he remains very quiet, allowing the elephant continue her browsing until she is closer to the tree. When she’s nearly under the tree the gorilla grabs a few coconuts, takes aim at the elephant’s head, and then flings the coconuts with all his might.

    The unsuspecting elephant is taken completely by surprise, the coconuts bouncing off her head with a loud bonk, bonk, bonk! “OUCH!!” she cries, shaking her head and looking up at the gorilla, saying angrily, “You overgrown ape, that hurts!” “TAKE IT ALL, BITCH!!” screams the ant.

  • #2
    It took me a while to figure out what the ant was doing.
    "We were put on this Earth to fart around, and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise." -Kurt Vonnegut

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