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  • Forging and Raging Egoes, Your Week in Review

    Forgers Check in, They Don't Check Out.

    They Get Towed Out

    Got a call from the maintenance man at the hotel down town (national chain hotel by the way) for removal of an illegally parked car. This isn't that rare, they have the only paved lot on their block, and all those open spaces mean people who aren't guests pull in there all the time, what with the plethora of bars and pizza joints in the area.

    To differentiate those who belong from those who don't, if you ARE a guest you get a dash pass for your car so they know you're okay. Incidentally, this leads to the occasional person who we tow in and have to patiently and futilely try to explain to them that while they did have a dash pass, where they parked was OFF the hotel's property, and that's why they got towed. Funny how hotel permits don't work at the gravel driveways of private residences ACROSS THE STREET isn't it? (Either I slept through the part of Drivers Ed that taught that, or it wasn't covered and the teacher once again underestimated the dogged inability of some people to pay attention to signs, directions, vebal warnings and anything else that isn't currently lighting them on fire.... )

    Anyway, this one was a bit unique in that it was the first time the reverse had happened, someone had forged a Hotel dash pass (and not done a very good job at it) and that's why the car was leaving with me. Same shoddy workmanship that gets most of my victims caught too, scanned a real one and then printed it out on paper instead of cardstock. Resulting "pass" was too thin, and they didn't do a very good cut-out job, the sides were all wavy and not straight. Worst of all, they didn't bother to change the unique serial number so the Maintenance guy was able to check the books and discovered that "permit" was already issued all the way back in February.... whups.....

    He was BEYOND steamed at this person too, and let me know in no uncertain terms that whenever the person who owned that car came in to pick it up, they wanted us to get their personal information and the phony permit back (most of them we confiscate, laugh at, and then toss in the trash) and give it all to the hotel. (Who had already written down the make/model/color/plate of the offending vehicle. )

    Looks like some unfortunate soul will now, instead of getting off "easy" with only owing us for a tow, is on their way to getting a nice theft of services charge dropped on them as well.....

    And one block away was the municipal parking garage.... so apparently, a criminal record is worth saving a block of travel on foot..... I'm no expert in economics but that certainly seems like a case of poor trade-off, oh well.

    entitledl@bigegotinybrain.com

    Got an interesting, ahem, "contesting" email the other day (and it actually said that in the subject line, "contesting charges"). I suppose this typographical tsunami was the "olive branch" this kind person was extending to us, a chance to make things right in his eyes before he engages "beast mode" and lets loose his army of Martian Tripod Heat-Ray Lawyers upon us for the transgressions we made against him.

    (My comments are in italics)

    At 8pm on *date redacted* I parked my car at *location redacted*. When I returned at 8:30, I found my car had been ticketed and towed. As you must know, parking regulations in the Borough state that no parking enforcement may take place after 6pm. 8pm is well past this deadline.

    It states no meter enforcement after 6, the private lot rules run 24/7

    Furthermore, I was parked in *location redacted* , is that NOT inside the Borough? I had to drive down *street redacted* to get there, is that not a Borough street? Was it not fair for me to assume I was legally parked?

    The lot at *location redacted* is a private parking lot, as soon as you pull in, you are OFF borough property, so no, it was rater stupid of you to assume that

    I also can't help but wonder if I was being singled out, as I am a University employee and have University parking stickers on my car, is your company policy to specifically target University cars?

    Nope, we target illegally parked cars, like, oh, I dunno, yours? And frankly, I don't "target" anything. The military targets things, I enforce rules, slight difference

    Finally, there isn't any signage at that location, there was no sign directly in front of where I parked informing me that I could not park there.

    But there are 3 evenly spaced signs in that lot that say "PRIVATE PARKING-TOW AWAY ZONE- ENFORCED 24/7 Friendly Neighborhood Towing xxx-xxxx"

    Wouldn't it make sense to have some kind of sign in front of a parking spot informing me I could not use it if that is the case? The signs in that lot are clearly NOT at eye-level!

    The ones you just said weren't there? You are aware "eye-level" is a subjective term right? And nothing in the Borough ordinance says anything about height of private parking signs, only that they be "clearly visible" and have 1 per 25 spaces. Ironically, that lot you got towed from has only 12 spaces, so at 3 signs, it's OVERSIGNED per ordinance and you still pulled on in.

    I expect a quick response to these issues, and I want the contact name and information for whoever is responsible for enforcing parking regulations within the borough so that I may inform them of these issues as well.

    Your guess is as good as mine there, Sir, I have no idea who that might be, how about you call the BOROUGH and not us on that one?

    Sincerely, Prof. Entitled
    THE UNIVERSITY

    *sigh* You know, I had a sneaking suspicion I was dealing with an entitled academic, and now that it's been confirmed, I'm not surprised.

    We sent him the following reply:

    Sir,

    The lot is private and the signage in the lot meets all Borough parking regulations, your fines and charges stand as is.

    - Friendly Neighborhood Towing


    Can't wait to see if we get a response, insufferable egoists like him tend to flip out when their finely-worded theses earn nothing but an unswayed one-sentence response.
    - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

  • #2
    Oh, dear. It seems he got his PHD without ever taking a course in logic. I just wish they taught that in 6th grade - along with a course in good manners! The best profs I had in college were also the most humble. A prerequisite to any teaching should be a course in Humility!

    You rock, Argabarga. I wish you patrolled the handicapped spots in my town!
    I don’t have enough middle fingers to show you how I feel about you.
    - Twitter, via Boredpanda.com, via Youtube

    Right. Well. When you manage to pull the concussed deer of your intellect away from the oncoming headlights of life let me know. - Grave keeper

    Comment


    • #3
      Dayum... I'd hate to be in that professor's class if he can't even figure out the difference between private property and public street.

      Not to mention, trying to wave his employment credentials around does nothing ... except make the university look stupid for employing him.

      Can't wait to see if we get a response, insufferable egoists like him tend to flip out when their finely-worded theses earn nothing but an unswayed one-sentence response.
      Indeed!

      Comment


      • #4
        Quoth Argabarga View Post
        Can't wait to see if we get a response, insufferable egoists like him tend to flip out when their finely-worded theses earn nothing but an unswayed one-sentence response.
        The now husband of my first ex-wife is an IT guy at a private academy. His treatment of me in our encounters has been quite annoying. I didn't have a way to express it until I saw the moderator of a football site I frequent had labelled himself...

        Condescending Windbag

        ...and from that time on I have found the perfect label for the academics who feel they rise above all...
        "Announcing your intentions is a good way to hear God laugh." Al Swearingen (Deadwood)

        Comment


        • #5
          Wanna bet he/she is a professor of law.
          I'm tolerant of everyone and everything except for assholes. - Mongo Skruddgemire

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth Argabarga View Post
            there isn't any signage at that location, there was no sign directly in front of where I parked

            make sense to have some kind of sign in front of a parking spot informing
            ah. Above and beyond complaining about no signs, and then complaining about said signs, what I think he's trying to get at is that EACH and EVERY space should have a sign smack dab in front of him when he pulls in. You know, for the terminally dense. Had a buddy towed from dt St. Louis once. 30+ space lot, empty, two entrances. Signage was rusty, dilapidated, askew thing on a post at ONE entrance. Buddy's response? "Damn. Wish I'd seen that when we pulled in."


            Quoth Argabarga View Post
            army of Martian Tripod Heat-Ray Lawyers
            This is gold, btw.

            addendum:

            Wait a sec. Did he just play the "academic" card?

            Comment


            • #7
              PHD = Parking Hazard Driver
              Why do they make Superglue but not Batglue?

              Comment


              • #8
                Quoth sms001 View Post
                ah. Above and beyond complaining about no signs, and then complaining about said signs, what I think he's trying to get at is that EACH and EVERY space should have a sign smack dab in front of him when he pulls in.
                No, what these people want, is for each parking space to come equipped with a person standing there to warn them that if they park there they will be towed. Of course after fulfilling said duty, the parking spot person would ideally pat them on the head and congratulate them on a parking job well done, then follow them to the bathroom and wipe the driver's backside for them.

                In short, people don't want to read and think for themselves. They want the world spoon fed to them, and when it isn't, they want to sue until they get compensated for the fact that the world doesn't revolve around them and their convenience.

                Sadly, too often, these lawsuits actually make it to court.

                Even sadder, sometimes they win.
                Now, I'd like to digress from my prepared remarks to discuss how I invented the terlet...

                Comment


                • #9
                  So I'll be up your way in Bellafonte (sp?) Monday & Tuesday at a certain someone's sentencing hearing running the sat truck. I'll be thinking of you...
                  "Announcing your intentions is a good way to hear God laugh." Al Swearingen (Deadwood)

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth Argabarga View Post
                    And one block away was the municipal parking garage.... so apparently, a criminal record is worth saving a block of travel on foot..... I'm no expert in economics but that certainly seems like a case of poor trade-off, oh well.
                    Actually, you're not factoring everything in. They saved a block of travel on foot AND several dollars in parking fees, and in return they received their vehicle towed, towing fees, AND a potential criminal record.

                    That being said, your conclusion that this was a poor trade-off on their part seems pretty much on the money.

                    Quoth Argabarga View Post
                    You are aware "eye-level" is a subjective term right?


                    I have no doubt that if "eye level" were part of the signage rules that someone would argue what is and what is not "eye level." Which would be ridiculous. Clearly eye level for my friends Little Red, who stands 4'11", and Frank, who stands 6'5", are quite different. Yet, ridiculous or not, if the ordinance called for "eye level" signs, some asschunk would argue the point.

                    Quoth Argabarga View Post
                    Sir,

                    The lot is private and the signage in the lot meets all Borough parking regulations, your fines and charges stand as is.

                    - Friendly Neighborhood Towing
                    Translation: "You're fucked."

                    "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                    Still A Customer."

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth Argabarga View Post
                      Can't wait to see if we get a response, insufferable egoists like him tend to flip out when their finely-worded theses earn nothing but an unswayed one-sentence response.
                      Count me among the people hoping for an update!

                      PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

                      There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I like the "targeting university vehicles", you should target them for one week so he has a point of reference.

                        And be sure to include his name and number on every tow ticket as whom to call if they wish to "contest" this ticket.
                        "First time I ever seen a chainsaw go down anybody's britches,"

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth Zoom View Post
                          PHD = Parking Hazard Driver
                          I've always used Post Hole Digger. But I like yours, too....especially here this week!

                          Quoth Jester View Post
                          I have no doubt that if "eye level" were part of the signage rules that someone would argue what is and what is not "eye level." Which would be ridiculous. Clearly eye level for my friends Little Red, who stands 4'11", and Frank, who stands 6'5", are quite different. Yet, ridiculous or not, if the ordinance called for "eye level" signs, some asschunk would argue the point.
                          And then you have what I do. I'm only 5'4", my mom is 5'10". I consistently hang things at her eye level....
                          It's floating wicker propelled by fire!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Well, the response was fairly anticlimactic, Prof. Entitled wrote us back to let us know he was still very unhappy with the current state of parking law in this town and he hopes we're happy that we're driving business away from downtown merchants by making it impossible for customers to park and not get towed.....
                            - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Quoth Argabarga View Post
                              Well, the response was fairly anticlimactic, Prof. Entitled wrote us back to let us know he was still very unhappy with the current state of parking law in this town and he hopes we're happy that we're driving business away from downtown merchants by making it impossible for customers to park and not get towed.....
                              This calls for a polite but flat reminder that if he has a problem with the state of parking law in the town, he should vote accordingly next month.
                              PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

                              There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

                              Comment

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