What is to be done?

[Eireann]

As some of you know, I rent a room in a house. A few months ago, one of the other renters moved out, and the son of one of her professors moved in.

This guy, after moving in, began to spend time in the bathroom. I mean, approximately three hours every day, in total (not all at once, fortunately). The toilet is separate from the rest of the bathroom, for which I am grateful. He left water all over the floor - around the sink, not around the tub or shower. The bathmats were constantly soaked. Two other people moved out (for other reasons), and one of them told me that more than once, he had to go to work in the morning without showering, because the new guy was busy in the bathroom.

I finally told my landlady what was going on - all that time in the bathroom, the water all over the floor, the lack of hot water. My landlord talked to him, and for a few days, the bathroom was available and the floor was dry.

More recently, however, we're back to increased time in the bathroom and wet floors. Oh, and since he's moved in, the toilet has been clogged more than once. It looks like he has a habit of using far too much toilet paper.

I've talked to my landlord about the lack of hot water (which is down to this guy using it), and he agreed that twenty minutes in the bathroom at any one time is more than enough. I don't want to keep complaining, lest they start to shrug it off. I can't talk to this guy directly, because he speaks very little English. I believe he should be in a group home; I don't think he's capable of taking care of himself. When he leaves the bathroom, he opens the door very slowly and shuffles out, hands clasped under his chin. I don't know what his condition is, but I think he should be in a living situation where he can be monitored.

Last night really got to me. I spent a very long time plunging out the toilet yet again - and what came up? Well, it looked like the cardboard core of a roll of toilet paper. I'm serious. Evidently, he doesn't know that certain things are not to be flushed.

I sent my landlady a text message outlining the problem, and telling her that I believe this guy is responsible for it (since nothing like this ever happened before he moved in). She simply replied that her husband would fix it in the morning.

How on earth do you address a situation like this?

[KuariKaydrith]

There is probably not a whole lot more you can do for it. Find out if others are complaining so that you know you are not alone in this. But it may be that your landlord has agreed to some sort of deal to have this particular tenant living there, especially if he is not really capable of looking after himself. I agree that it does sound like he needs to be in a supervised care facility, but it could be that the mother does not want to deal with the stigma or cost of something like that. I've seen it happen in other place all too often.

[EricKei]

You may be right about his possible specialized needs -- which makes it even MORE important that you let the landlord (and/or medical/professional personnel she may with to contact) handle it.

[Eireann]

I asked my landlady if he has some kind of disability, and she said she didn't know. I have told her about his behavior - I think that he spends a lot of time splashing in the sink, since the water on the floor is always in that area. The landlady and landlord have told me to let them know if he starts upping his bathroom time; they were very clear on that point.

He moved in because the woman who used to live in that room (how I miss her!) was asking around to see who was looking for a place to stay, and, as stated before, one of her professors said his son needed a place. Now I know why. Either he was living with his parents and they don't want to deal with him, or he made himself persona non grata in another living situation.

I hope I'm wrong, but it seems that they won't do anything unless the toilet overflows, say, or even has to be replaced because he put something in there that really fucked up the works. This hasn't happened, but it may just be a matter of time.

He's not violent or loud. He's not the neatest person I've ever seen, but hey, neither am I. I think if he'd been really obnoxious in some respect - something that directly affected the owners - he'd be out by now. However, with two more people living on this floor, the complaints are almost certainly going to increase.

[EricKei]

Discreet photos of disasters he's left behind may help, as well.

If it gets bad enough for the owners to take action, perhaps suggest that they have a friendly chat with the kid's parental unit(s)/ the professor -- nothing confrontational, just "Your son's new roommates have asked us to share some concerns with you -- might you have a few minutes to talk?" I would be willing to bet that this isn't the first time this has happened.

[Eireann]

Two women (sisters) moved in recently. One of them told me that Mr. Clean emailed her that he "had" to wash his hands over and over.

"OCD?" I asked.

"I think so," she said. She also told me that her sister took a shower on Sunday, only to find that there was no hot water. (The tank holds LOADS of hot water, so him using it all means he's been in there forever.)

In an unexpected development, I went into the bathroom today after one of the sisters came out. The BO was almost palpable. My God! It nearly knocked me over. I don't know what she was doing in there, but I think that showering and using deodorant can be ruled out.

Maybe the stench will bother Mr. Clean so much that he'll move. But then, what to do about her?