The Roommate's Attitude

[AccountingDrone]

Control freak, passive-aggressive, with a touch of OCD. Make that a large helping of OCD.

First, make your room off limits. He can buy his own damn Blu-Ray. Put a lock on your door with a key that stays with you. If you want to store some of your stuff in the basement, invest in bins that lock if you can find them.

And have a serious, but cordial, talk with him about boundaries, fairness and compromising.

Holy shit!
Add to this, get a post office box! And definitely make your room totally off limits to him. If you can't leave some of your stuff in 'his' areas that are supposed to be in common, then he doesn't get to use your blu-ray player. And they make locking metal 'wardrobes' - get a couple and put them in the basement. Last time I got one that new would have been $400, used at an office furniture crunch and dent store for $50.

And look for a new place to live that either doesn't have you living in a walk in closet or with an idiot that will not share. Hell, my 7 year old goddaughter knows how to share.

[KuariKaydrith]

Time to move. There is no way anybody should have to put up with that sort of thing, or be stuck with a shoebox for a bedroom.

I get that your roomie's head is wired differently than most, but he still needs to learn boundaries when it comes to things that do not belong to him. As in 'don't touch it', or at least make an effort to put your stuff in your room if he does not know what else to do with it.

[MoonCat]

One more comment. It sounds like your roomie may possibly, really have OCD. I'm not saying this is a bad thing or that he's a bad person (I have a touch of it myself, to be honest). However, anyone can learn boundaries and fairness. It doesn't sound as though he's even trying.

[Seshat]

I consider it a disabled person's responsibility to learn to live with the world. Oh, I'm not saying that wheelchair users need to learn to use stairs: reasonable accomodation is important. But compromise is a two-way street.

The relevent thing for this thread: If you're going to be a flatmate, you have to be someone reasonable to live with. If your disability is such that you can't do that; don't go for a shared living situation.

[SuckMyFuxkCustomers]

Sure, whatever, you might be a slob, but this guy is insanely lazy himself.
I don't like cleaning after people, but I'll do it anyways if it avoids a bigger mess in the long run.

Also, maybe it's just a lack of trust because I've been around so many shitty people, but the fact that he sorts through your stuff and puts it wherever he pleases makes me wonder if he's taking shit that he might want in the process. Keep an eye out but avoid serious arguing because living with someone you're always fighting with sucks.

[Antares]

I've got a pretty good roommate. We were roommates a couple of times before; the last time wasn't great. Before he moved in I told him he knew I wasn't a clean as him....in that clutter doesn't bother me like it does him. I told him I would do my best keep the common area cleaned up, but he knew what he was getting into. If I leave something out in the main room for too long, he'll set it on my desk.

When we moved in, I told him he could set up the kitchen the way he wanted since he cooks a lot more than me, and often does much more elaborate meals. I get half the space in the kitchen and fridge.

Sometimes I clean up the kitchen after him, sometimes he does after me. Sometimes I cook and feed him, sometimes he feeds me. We share things like eggs, cereal and a bunch of other stuff, but have our own milk and bread as we like different things. Even though I pay for half the general food, I don't eat a whole lot of it. If I want something special, I buy it and pay for it myself and we don't touch each others stuff. (It also helps that he is a phenomenal cook and I benefit from that quite a bit, which is why I don't mind splitting the food bill equally.)

We split bills evenly. At the end of the month I present him with what he owes me. He subtracts food and anything else he might have paid for and writes me a check.

I rarely go in his room. He'll come in mine occasionally to use my computer for something, but I've told him that is okay.

I didn't really want a roommate, but the one I can't complain about the one I have.