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You guys know me. I'm infamous for my snarkiness. Today...today was a day of snark.
Woman comes in a prepays with debit.
Me: If you don't quite make it to XX.XX then I'll have you come back in so I can put the money back on your card.
SC: WHAT?! WHY DID YOU NOT TELL ME THAT BEFORE I USED DEBIT?!
Me: Excuse me?
SC: You asked me CREDIT or DEBIT right? WELL WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY THAT IF I USED DEBIT I WOULD HAVE TO COME BACK?!
Me: Well then I would have had to tell you that if you used credit then the money you didn't use would be held for 24 to 48 hours. I don't tell people the risks of using their cards.
SC: ...HMMPH.
A man is standing behind a woman in line. Woman drops something. She's bending over to pick it up and when she does and she's getting back up he makes a motion with his hand as though he was signifying that he would like to smack her butt to get her to move faster out of his way. I believe the look on my face was enough to shame him as he did not meet my eyes for the rest of our transaction.
SC (x5000, there are way too many of these): My card doesn't work.
Me: You're probably doing it wrong.
SC: What?
Me: Lemme go do it for you. *takes cards, goes out, it works, we're all happily ever fucking after.*
SC: Can this card be used as a credit card?
Me: That is a rewards card sir.
SC: Yes. I swiped it in but I didn't get my points and I need to pay for pump 15.
Me: How much would you like on it?
SC: I already pumped 52.83.
Me: ....what.
SC: I pumped it and now I have to pay for it. I swiped my rewards card.
Me: The rewards card doesn't turn on the pump. If you swipe that and then you swipe your credit card it should ask you if you want to use the points.
SC: But I never put in my credit card and it never asked for the points.
Me: ...that's impossible, sir. *scrolls through trans and prints receipt. I then quite rudely snatched his card from his hand and put it down next to the receipt* Sir. Those are the last four digits of YOUR CARD.
SC: ..............uhm. Oh. Okay.
Yes ladies and gentlemen. Yes. He mistook his CREDIT CARD for his REWARDS CARD. You know what's the best part about it? THEY'RE OPPOSITE COLORS ON THE COLOR WHEEL. Maybe he's color blind. I dunno. Whatever.
My trainee today before I got on made a boo-boo that was easy for me to fix but apparently two seconds was too long for this woman.
Me: I'll need another two fifty.
SC: Can we like...speed this process up? Ya'll are slow.
Me: Well I just got here and I'm trying to fix this for you okay? Two-fifty.
SC: Uhg. *hands me money*
Me: *Gets what she needs immediately.*
SC: My son has a BASEBALL GAME. And I NEED TO GO.
Me: Well then go. You've got what you need don't you?
SC: ...*stares at what I gave her.* ....yeah. *leaves.*
My register breaks and suddenly there's a line. I have to explain to the line that my register is broken and I'm trying to fix it and I'm not just standing here with my thumb up my ass to spite them. They're all staring at me like I did it on purpose so I tell them, "You all had to come in when stuff broke huh?" Aw yeah. Shift the blame. Shift the blame.
This guy really took the whole friggin' cake. There were only two of us working and he monopolized me for the longest time because he was in DENIAL about one of our products that DOESN'T EXIST. And of course he's old and crusty and he thought I was stupid so I wasn't in the mood to humor him. (We make our own products much like the gas station of "Thanksgiving Dinner on a Knoll")
SC: I need [My company] DIET PRODUCT.
Me: We don't sell that.
SC: But I got it here before.
Me: I don't know how because we don't make that product.
SC: Are you sure?
Me: *shows him all the other products* This is what we sell.
SC: What about the stores near the [production place]?
Me: If we sell it, this store would have it. The store by [production place] is smaller than ours. If you wanted to try the store on [street] by the corporate office that's up to you but they are just the same size and they have everything we do.
SC: What about the stores closer to here.
Me: They're all smaller.
SC: Well I want to get to a store that will sell me DIET PRODUCT.
Me: There are none sir, we don't make that.
SC: I HAVE AN EMPTY CONTAINER.
Me: *this is where something inside me snaps into pieces* Well sir. Can I see it?
SC: She has it at home. I need you to call this store.
Me: *sigh*
THE PHONE CONVERSATION AS HE IS ACROSS THE ROOM OUT OF EARSHOT:
Me: Yes hi, this is Store [location]. I'm calling because this guy is looking at me and insisting that he wants DIET PRODUCT.
Other Worker: ...but that...
Me: Doesn't exist. I know. I've told him that. I'm just calling you because he's looking at me.
OW: Oh. I understand. Yeeeaaaah. Don't make it...
Me: Yep...never have... thanks. Bye!
OW: Good luck!
BACK TO HARSH REALITY:
Me: Okay well that other store thought I was CRAZY. I've worked at six different stores including that one and I've worked for this company for nearly five years. Sir I've NEVER HEARD OF and NEVER SEEN what you are looking for. If you'll go down this street and take a right you'll come across a "Thanksgiving Dinner on a Knoll" and I'm sure, no, I'm POSITIVE that they will have what you want.
SC: ...but.
Me: I'M POSITIVE. CAN I HELP THE NEXT PERSON IN LINE?!
He leaves FINALLY. DEAR LORD. He's gonna be up for a real shock when goes home and finds out his empty container wasn't DIET or WASN'T FROM US.
Woman comes in a prepays with debit.
Me: If you don't quite make it to XX.XX then I'll have you come back in so I can put the money back on your card.
SC: WHAT?! WHY DID YOU NOT TELL ME THAT BEFORE I USED DEBIT?!
Me: Excuse me?
SC: You asked me CREDIT or DEBIT right? WELL WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY THAT IF I USED DEBIT I WOULD HAVE TO COME BACK?!
Me: Well then I would have had to tell you that if you used credit then the money you didn't use would be held for 24 to 48 hours. I don't tell people the risks of using their cards.
SC: ...HMMPH.
A man is standing behind a woman in line. Woman drops something. She's bending over to pick it up and when she does and she's getting back up he makes a motion with his hand as though he was signifying that he would like to smack her butt to get her to move faster out of his way. I believe the look on my face was enough to shame him as he did not meet my eyes for the rest of our transaction.
SC (x5000, there are way too many of these): My card doesn't work.
Me: You're probably doing it wrong.
SC: What?
Me: Lemme go do it for you. *takes cards, goes out, it works, we're all happily ever fucking after.*
SC: Can this card be used as a credit card?
Me: That is a rewards card sir.
SC: Yes. I swiped it in but I didn't get my points and I need to pay for pump 15.
Me: How much would you like on it?
SC: I already pumped 52.83.
Me: ....what.
SC: I pumped it and now I have to pay for it. I swiped my rewards card.
Me: The rewards card doesn't turn on the pump. If you swipe that and then you swipe your credit card it should ask you if you want to use the points.
SC: But I never put in my credit card and it never asked for the points.
Me: ...that's impossible, sir. *scrolls through trans and prints receipt. I then quite rudely snatched his card from his hand and put it down next to the receipt* Sir. Those are the last four digits of YOUR CARD.
SC: ..............uhm. Oh. Okay.
Yes ladies and gentlemen. Yes. He mistook his CREDIT CARD for his REWARDS CARD. You know what's the best part about it? THEY'RE OPPOSITE COLORS ON THE COLOR WHEEL. Maybe he's color blind. I dunno. Whatever.
My trainee today before I got on made a boo-boo that was easy for me to fix but apparently two seconds was too long for this woman.
Me: I'll need another two fifty.
SC: Can we like...speed this process up? Ya'll are slow.
Me: Well I just got here and I'm trying to fix this for you okay? Two-fifty.
SC: Uhg. *hands me money*
Me: *Gets what she needs immediately.*
SC: My son has a BASEBALL GAME. And I NEED TO GO.
Me: Well then go. You've got what you need don't you?
SC: ...*stares at what I gave her.* ....yeah. *leaves.*
My register breaks and suddenly there's a line. I have to explain to the line that my register is broken and I'm trying to fix it and I'm not just standing here with my thumb up my ass to spite them. They're all staring at me like I did it on purpose so I tell them, "You all had to come in when stuff broke huh?" Aw yeah. Shift the blame. Shift the blame.
This guy really took the whole friggin' cake. There were only two of us working and he monopolized me for the longest time because he was in DENIAL about one of our products that DOESN'T EXIST. And of course he's old and crusty and he thought I was stupid so I wasn't in the mood to humor him. (We make our own products much like the gas station of "Thanksgiving Dinner on a Knoll")
SC: I need [My company] DIET PRODUCT.
Me: We don't sell that.
SC: But I got it here before.
Me: I don't know how because we don't make that product.
SC: Are you sure?
Me: *shows him all the other products* This is what we sell.
SC: What about the stores near the [production place]?
Me: If we sell it, this store would have it. The store by [production place] is smaller than ours. If you wanted to try the store on [street] by the corporate office that's up to you but they are just the same size and they have everything we do.
SC: What about the stores closer to here.
Me: They're all smaller.
SC: Well I want to get to a store that will sell me DIET PRODUCT.
Me: There are none sir, we don't make that.
SC: I HAVE AN EMPTY CONTAINER.
Me: *this is where something inside me snaps into pieces* Well sir. Can I see it?
SC: She has it at home. I need you to call this store.
Me: *sigh*
THE PHONE CONVERSATION AS HE IS ACROSS THE ROOM OUT OF EARSHOT:
Me: Yes hi, this is Store [location]. I'm calling because this guy is looking at me and insisting that he wants DIET PRODUCT.
Other Worker: ...but that...
Me: Doesn't exist. I know. I've told him that. I'm just calling you because he's looking at me.
OW: Oh. I understand. Yeeeaaaah. Don't make it...
Me: Yep...never have... thanks. Bye!
OW: Good luck!
BACK TO HARSH REALITY:
Me: Okay well that other store thought I was CRAZY. I've worked at six different stores including that one and I've worked for this company for nearly five years. Sir I've NEVER HEARD OF and NEVER SEEN what you are looking for. If you'll go down this street and take a right you'll come across a "Thanksgiving Dinner on a Knoll" and I'm sure, no, I'm POSITIVE that they will have what you want.
SC: ...but.
Me: I'M POSITIVE. CAN I HELP THE NEXT PERSON IN LINE?!
He leaves FINALLY. DEAR LORD. He's gonna be up for a real shock when goes home and finds out his empty container wasn't DIET or WASN'T FROM US.
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