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Why exactly are you calling us, then?

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  • Why exactly are you calling us, then?

    A woman called up our bookstore to ask if we had a certain book in stock. Pretty routine request, or so we thought . . .


    We entered the title she gave us into our computer, but came up with nothing. No book with that title existed in our system.

    We tried the author's name next. Same result.

    We entered different variations of the title and the author's name. Nothing.

    We did several keyword searches, using just two or three words from the title and/or the author's last name . . . Zip.

    We asked her if she was sure that she had the title and author's name right. She said that she did.

    So we asked her what the book was about, and she gave us a description. We then did a very general keyword search to bring up books on that subject, and began looking through this extremely long list of titles to see if there were any newly released books that looked similar to what she was asking for.

    By this time, we had been on the phone with this woman for quite a while, and we were still coming up empty.

    I asked her if she was sure that the book had been released.

    (Now, the truth is . . . Even if the book hadn't been released yet, it should still have been in our system, as long as the publisher had provided a scheduled release date. But I was running out of ideas, so I asked her anyway.)

    She assured me that it had, in fact, been released. She had seen the author talking about it on television, and he had stated that it was now available for order from their website and over the phone.

    There was a pause, and then . . . AND THEN . . . She says, "They did say on the television show that it wasn't available in any bookstores, though."

    . . .

    . . .

    . . .

    (One of my co-workers later remarked that she could actually hear the ellipses as I simply stood there, in the moments following that statement.)

    "Ma'am," I said, with restraint that amazed even me, "why exactly are you calling us about this book, then?"

    "I wanted to see if you maybe had it," she replied, with absolutely no irony in her voice.

    After taking a deep breath, I told her that we did not have the book that she wanted.

    "Oh," she said. "Okay, then, thank you for trying."

    "No problem."
    “Excuse me. Is this bracelet real jade?”
    “Ma’am, this is a thrift shop. The tag on the bracelet says $1.50. It comes with a matching mood ring. What do you think?”
    “I don’t know.”
    “Yes, it’s real.”

  • #2
    You know, I can see having a dumb moment and totally spacing that the commercial said the book wasn't in stores. But it just sounds like she's slightly stoopid...
    "I'm working for popcorn - what I get paid doesn't rise to the level of peanuts." -Courtesy of Darkwish

    ...Beware the voice without a face...

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    • #3
      Ya know. I thought I heard people cry. Ya sure ya didn't just scream THAT loud in pain?
      Military Spouse Support.
      http://www.customerssuck.com/board/group.php?groupid=45
      Plaidman's Minions: Telecom_Goddess: Dungeon Minion

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      • #4
        Quoth Anthony K. S. View Post
        There was a pause, and then . . . AND THEN . . . She says, "They did say on the television show that it wasn't available in any bookstores, though."
        When I worked in a bookstore anytime we heard the words: "I saw this book on TV the other day..." my coworkers and I would cringe. It usually meant that it would be impossible to find because it wasn't available at certain stores or it wasn't even printed yet.

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        • #5
          What part of "not available at any book store" didn't she understand, exactly ?
          "I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question."

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          • #6
            I hope they don't start thinking "Not available at any book store" means "available at some other non-book store".

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            • #7
              Sadly, that would be kind of a step up. It would be proof that they actually paid attention to what they saw, and that they understood the general meaning of the message, even though they obviously didn't get the implicit, intended contextual meaning.
              "I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question."

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              • #8
                This caused me rage. Hands reached over to strangle the computer screen, honestly. I must need more coffee.

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                • #9
                  Or possibly less, don't you think ?
                  "I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question."

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                  • #10
                    No, because then I would have to stop drinking my coffee

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                    • #11
                      "Not Available In Any Bookstores" is actually a code word for "Will Soon Be Available On The As Seen On TV End Cap At Target".

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                      • #12
                        At least it was a real book.
                        How many calls have you gotten for a book that only exists in a movie or tv show?
                        I feel crazy. Like I'm drunk and trapped in a water globe and someone won't stop shaking it.
                        -The Amazing E
                        Zonies social group now open!

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                        • #13
                          I got to agree with this. A lot of the times, "Not available in stores" means that they want you to buy it from them. Expecially for older products. However, if this was the first time the commercial was seen, I'd have to give it to you, in that it does not get sold in bookstores.

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                          • #14


                            This is the first laugh that actually had me choking on my water!

                            Hee hee hee, that customer is hilarious! Ach, I'm sorry if she rubbed you wrong, but her "rules don't apply to me" ignorance will cheer me up all day~
                            If there’s one thing women love, it’s the guy that just can’t seem to find the line that divides “Ha Ha” and “Stacey, get your purse, we’re leaving before he comes back.”.

                            --Gravekeeper

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                            • #15
                              Somewhere, I remember there being a rule against that.

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