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I'm sorry your kid is stupid

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  • #16
    over here, any publicly accessable hinges generally have these bits of plastic covering them by a company called "Finguard" simple little piece of PVC scrwed to the door and wall. prevents this from happening
    -The one, The Only, AdvancedFlea-

    Stick that in your blog and smoke it.

    A guide for customers about retail

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    • #17
      I fall UP stairs on a fairly regular basis. I've twisted my ankle walking on flat ground. I've had stitches four times, all some variation of "and then I fell into tv/pavement/farm equipment".

      Mommy says I'm special!
      "Even arms dealers need groceries." ~ Ziva David, NCIS

      Tony: "Everyone's counting on you, just do what you do best."
      Abby: "Dance?" ~ NCIS

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      • #18
        Quoth AdminAssistant View Post
        I fall UP stairs on a fairly regular basis.
        So does Roommate R. It's funny.

        Quoth AdminAssistant View Post
        Mommy says I'm special!
        You're a special kind of Special, dear.
        Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

        Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

        Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

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        • #19
          Quoth AdminAssistant View Post
          I fall UP stairs on a fairly regular basis. I've twisted my ankle walking on flat ground. I've had stitches four times, all some variation of "and then I fell into tv/pavement/farm equipment".

          Mommy says I'm special!


          Can I be in the Klutz Club too? I finally mastered the UP stairs part (used to fall up pretty often), only to have a failure of DOWN skills last week. One of those "Slip - (moment of Wile E. Coyote hang time) - oh shit - WHUMP - crash thud clunk whap - "I'M OK!! " - .....ow" sequences. A couple of dozen bruises later... it's probably a good thing all my friends know how accident prone I genuinely am, or they'd have The Boy's head.

          I broke my toe on a laundry basket last year, and lost a thumbnail to the vaccuum cleaner two years before that. Come to think of it, that fall last week was when I was going down to check laundry... that's it! I am not doing housework any more. It is obviously much too dangerous.

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          • #20
            I had a friend in high school who sprained her wrist with her own butt! We were bowling and she slipped and went to put her hand out to catch herself and ended up landing flat on her wrist.

            I also knew a guy in college who said he broke a bone in his butt in his high school gym class.

            Damn i have some clumsy friends.
            Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

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            • #21
              Quoth katie kaboom View Post
              I had a friend in high school who sprained her wrist with her own butt! We were bowling and she slipped and went to put her hand out to catch herself and ended up landing flat on her wrist.

              I also knew a guy in college who said he broke a bone in his butt in his high school gym class.

              Damn i have some clumsy friends.
              I have a co-irker who actually managed to sprain her arse xD
              -The one, The Only, AdvancedFlea-

              Stick that in your blog and smoke it.

              A guide for customers about retail

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              • #22
                Quoth the_std View Post
                Y'know... I really don't think that these people are the majority these days. I truly believe that parents are still responsible and well-meaning as they were twenty, thirty, fifty years ago. But the few that have turned into these kinds of parents-without-actually-parenting are becoming a lot more visible because we have websites like this to spread the stories.

                I'm not saying that there hasn't been an increase in "little pwecious" syndrome, but I really don't think it's nearly as bad as it seems. I mean, how often do you really, truly notice someone who is parenting properly? They're pretty unobtrusive, most of the time.
                In all honesty the parents who parent properly really stick out in places like canadian tire and zellars. This is because they are the minority and you do notice it.

                However, at the petro-can improper parenting seems to be the minority.

                I'm pretty sure it depends on the average income of the customers in the store.

                And who knows, maybe my good parents turn into bad parents in places like the above.

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                • #23
                  I'd like to submit application for the Klutz club too. I got hit by a car. While in it.

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                  • #24
                    Yesterday I went into Goodwill (a second hand store) and bought some cups. At the register, I see this kid get on a skateboard and started toride it. I asked the clerk "Is he suppose to ride a skateboard in here?" She said, "What?" By this time the kid fell on his ass and the board is still going. The clerk gets on the intercom and says, something like, "Parents, please keep your kids with you at all times." So soon I hear angry momma yelling at her kids (one being the boy on the skate board).

                    There was this Ross in a mall that is best known as "Gunspoint". Anyway, I swear all the clothes that should be on the racks were on the floor. Ok, maybe half the clothes. I go toward the kids section to get to the shoes and really, all the kids and baby clothes are on the floor. It's a carpet of clothes, and there was no way to get by. The worst part is this store sells toys too. I see a lot of times kids playing with balls and a bat, or throwing balls. It's like parents just let them go to that section to play and leave the parents alone. That Ross closed really soon. But I think they moved down the street next to Frys.
                    Time! Time! Time is what turns kittens into cats.

                    Don't teach me a lesson; all I learn is that you are an asshole.

                    I wish porn had subtitles.

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                    • #25
                      Quoth katie kaboom View Post

                      I also knew a guy in college who said he broke a bone in his butt in his high school gym class.
                      So basically, you're saying he busted his ass.

                      Anyhoo, I ran into a tree in elementary school. Not on a bike or skateboard, mind you. I ran. Into the tree.

                      I also walked right into a tent pole while eating a caramel apple at a festival. My mom tells me she heard a "clink" and asked "Irv, did you walk into the tent pole?"

                      I said "yeah."
                      Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                      "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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                      • #26
                        My husband likes to tease me that I'm the only person he knows that fell UP the stairs, since then our little guy has managed to do it too.

                        I have walked into a tree, because I was watching a bunny instead of where I was going. I blame the ADD.

                        I have also, while carrying a bowl of popcorn tripped over a toy and instead of dropping the popcorn I threw it on the table while also falling into the oak table. I had three fractured ribs from that and doctors who kept asking me if I was sure that is how it happened, was I sure no one had thrown me into the table. Yes, I'm sure!
                        Do not annoy the woman with the flamethrower!

                        If you don't like it, I believe you can go to hell! ~Trinity from The Matrix

                        Yes, MadMike does live under my couch.

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                        • #27
                          You should be lucky the parents didn't try to sue the store because little pwecious got hurt.

                          Not that they would win (well I HOPE they wouldn't) but it would just be a lot of stress and crap you could do without.
                          "If we refund your money, give you a free replacement and shoot the manager, then will you be happy?" - sign seen in a restaurant

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                          • #28
                            Quoth Misanthropical View Post

                            I have walked into a tree, because I was watching a bunny instead of where I was going. I blame the ADD.
                            Nah, blame it on the bunny. You know that he and his bunny friend were giving each other high fives when you were out of sight like the squirrels in the Geico commercial.

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                            • #29
                              Quoth blas87 View Post
                              I should quit talking shit. I still haven't learned to stop running up and down the stairs in high heels.
                              Least you didn't do it in Hooves..


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                              • #30
                                I work in the fashions dept and have a shopping cart with me at all times. It's great for holding extra hangers and all the returned items that have to be put back where they belong. Our dept has so many racks of clothes that there is barely enough room to push a cart between them. Many articles of clothing wind up on the floor because they get caught on a passing cart and pulled off.

                                Kids also love to hide in the racks underneath the clothes. One day I was putting away returns and pushing my cart, which was loaded with stuff, at a rather steady pace. Suddenly a little tot jumped out from under one of the racks and I hit him...a bit hard actually. It happened so fast. He was so small that I never even saw him, I just felt the thud.

                                The little guy began to cry and I felt so bad that I nearly cried. His Dad picked him up off the floor as I apologized profusely. He was very nice about it and said the little guy shouldn't have been darting around the racks anyway. But I still felt bad.

                                .
                                Retail Haiku:
                                Depression sets in.
                                The hellhole is calling me ~
                                I don't want to go.

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