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  • Tech/customer support rules

    While on this, I won't say where I work, but I will say I work for a wireless provider.

    That said, I have a few rules that will make your time spent with me much easier.

    1. When I ask for your name, it means I want YOUR name, not your mother's, brother's, friend's, cousin's, boyfriend's, boss's, teacher's, dog's, pastor's, therapist's name. YOUR name. If you are Bob, don't tell me your name is Sarah. And yes, I do need your last name, because I don't know if you are Tom Smith, Tom Baker, or Tom Johnson.

    2. Don't give more information than I ask you for. I don't need your life story. While I'm happy to be understanding about whatever distress you might be having, I have a reason for the questions I'm asking you.

    3. When we ask you what your number is, don't ask "you mean the one I'm calling from?" Think. If you are on your next door neighbor's cell phone, or another family members phone, how is knowing his or her number going to help us fix YOUR phone that is having problems?

    4. Don't give vague answers like "it's not working" or "it's broke." That tells me nothing.

    5. Don't lie about the steps you've taken, especially if you are calling back in. Calls are documented for a reason.

    6. Don't call back in for a different answer than the last one given you. The answer is the same 99% of the time.

    7. If we give you steps to fix your problem, don't think we got it wrong. Don't say, "I don't think that's it." You are not the expert. Can show me your I.T. certifications and/or degrees in MY field? No? Okay then, let me do my job.

    8. When I ask you a question that requires a Yes or No answer... that's what I want. Yes or No. If I want you to elaborate, I'll ask.

    9. Since we are troubleshooting your wireless device, if you have a 2nd phone, call from it first. If you absolutely need us to call you back on your alternate line, we will, but don't ask if we need the number. This isn't the psychic friends network.

    10. If you are calling from the device having the problem, don't assume we can fix it - that's like asking your mechanic to fix your brakes and transmission while you are driving the car.

    11. Two or Three steps that you have to do on your own is NOT complicated. It may be annoying, but that doesn't define complexity.

    12. If we don't make it, don't assume we support/ or are able to fix it. If we have to send you elsewhere, don't argue the point.

    13. Don't ask the obvious. If it says click "next" to continue, don't ask me if you need to click next. It should be clear that if you don't hit "next" you won't be getting anywhere. And yes, you don't have to ask me at each and every step... take the step that actually makes sense.

    14. Don't talk down to me just because you can't see my face. I am a human being too, and I deserve to be treated like one. I can assure you however, if you call in often enough, you will be put on "the list." This list actaully resides with our legal department, and yes, there are steps that will be taken where if you wish to remain our customer, you can write to us for support.

    15. Don't get into conversations with other people in the background. I'm giving you my time, give me yours.

    16. Don't ask "are you there?" if you get 3 seconds of silence. I'm here, and it's annoying to be asked that every other moment.

    17. Don't curse on the phone. I'm expected to remain civil and professional, so you can afford to meet me halfway on that.

    18. Don't use "The customer is always right" with me. You can tell me that trees run with blood in them, the moon is made of gouda and JFK was killed by aliens - but that doesn't require me to agree with you. Yes, you do have the right to be heard, but you do not have the right to be disrespectful.

    19. Don't call when you only have 2 minutes to spare. I'm sorry, but don't think we can simply fix your issue if you are calling just to "check." We don't have magic wands.

    20. Take the steps to fix the issue. Yes, the steps may mean you will lose information. No, we aren't doing that to you on purpose. Yes, if we could save your information, we would. I'm sorry, that's life.

  • #2
    Quoth godaistudios View Post
    13. Don't ask the obvious. If it says click "next" to continue, don't ask me if you need to click next. It should be clear that if you don't hit "next" you won't be getting anywhere. And yes, you don't have to ask me at each and every step... take the step that actually makes sense.
    Be careful about this one. It can get you in trouble if the user starts clicking next before entering in information necessary on the screen. Not all apps hide the "next" button until all the info is entered in.

    Other than that, I agree.


    Eric the Grey
    In memory of Dena - Don't Drink and Drive

    Comment


    • #3
      Quoth godaistudios View Post
      8. When I ask you a question that requires a Yes or No answer... that's what I want. Yes or No. If I want you to elaborate, I'll ask.
      If I could only convince my wife to do that. :sigh:

      Quoth godaistudios View Post
      10. If you are calling from the device having the problem, don't assume we can fix it - that's like asking your mechanic to fix your brakes and transmission while you are driving the car.
      That reminded me of this joke:

      A Harley mechanic was removing a cylinder head when a famous heart surgeon entered his shop.

      The mechanic shouted, "Hey, Doc! Got a minute?"

      The surgeon walked over to the mechanic and said, "Sure. What is it?"

      The mechanic stood up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take out the valves, repair the damage, put it back together and when I'm done, it works like new. We both do basically the same thing. So why do I get paid peanuts while you make the big bucks?"

      The surgeon paused, thought a moment and replied, "Try doing it with the engine running!"
      "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

      Comment


      • #4
        Quoth godaistudios View Post
        19. Don't call when you only have 2 minutes to spare. I'm sorry, but don't think we can simply fix your issue if you are calling just to "check." We don't have magic wands.

        That and how about the ones that say that they're nowhere near their computer and/or not home to troubleshoot the issue they're having with their computer/modem, etc. Yea, like we have fairy dust to magically solve your technical issues. I hate those.
        I don't get paid enough to kiss your a**! -Groezig 5/31/08
        Another day...another million braincells lost...-Sarlon 6/16/08
        Chivalry is not dead. It's just direly underappreciated. -Samaliel 9/15/09

        Comment


        • #5
          Quoth Eric the Grey View Post
          Be careful about this one. It can get you in trouble if the user starts clicking next before entering in information necessary on the screen. Not all apps hide the "next" button until all the info is entered in.

          Other than that, I agree.


          Eric the Grey
          Well, in my line of work with PDA devices and having people install things like blackberry desktop software and the like, the programmers have been, generally speaking, intelligent enough to actually require the necessary info be put in first before they can click next... but I suppose the point is about putting in the obvious.

          Like if the field says "Name" - put your name, don't ask me if you need to type it in.

          Though perhaps this will lead me to modify my list a little.

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth godaistudios View Post
            Well, in my line of work with PDA devices and having people install things like blackberry desktop software and the like, the programmers have been, generally speaking, intelligent enough to actually require the necessary info be put in first before they can click next... but I suppose the point is about putting in the obvious.

            Like if the field says "Name" - put your name, don't ask me if you need to type it in.

            Though perhaps this will lead me to modify my list a little.
            Too true. I just remember talking people through configuring outlook 2003 before we upgraded to 2007 and having them jump ahead of me by clicking next before they entered their email stuff.

            The new version is much nicer. Already knows the server names and picks the user name from login credentials. Just click the icon and go, assuming you're logged in with your own ID.... (there's a rant for another day...)


            Eric the Grey
            In memory of Dena - Don't Drink and Drive

            Comment


            • #7
              Tom Baker! Ooo. You have Doctor Who as a client!?

              If we give you steps to fix your problem, don't think we got it wrong.
              unless the tech we're talking to is in the military.
              on my second ship our internet access had to go through another command before it went out into the world. they were notorious for giving us a long list of stuff to check before they finally checked their own settings. and yes, 9 times out of 10 it really was their settings that were off.


              and heh yeah, we had a few trouble calls of "computer broke" or "it won't work"
              soooo helpful!

              Comment


              • #8
                Quoth PepperElf View Post
                Tom Baker! Ooo. You have Doctor Who as a client!?


                unless the tech we're talking to is in the military.
                on my second ship our internet access had to go through another command before it went out into the world. they were notorious for giving us a long list of stuff to check before they finally checked their own settings. and yes, 9 times out of 10 it really was their settings that were off.


                and heh yeah, we had a few trouble calls of "computer broke" or "it won't work"
                soooo helpful!
                Yeah, a Doctor Who fan here.... I'm glad you got the reference.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth godaistudios View Post
                  Well, in my line of work with PDA devices and having people install things like blackberry desktop software and the like, the programmers have been, generally speaking, intelligent enough to actually require the necessary info be put in first before they can click next... but I suppose the point is about putting in the obvious.

                  Like if the field says "Name" - put your name, don't ask me if you need to type it in.

                  Though perhaps this will lead me to modify my list a little.
                  Argh. I don't miss the days of "It says First Name...what do I put there?" "...Your...first name?" "but what do I put there?!" "What's your first name?" "Joe" "put that there." "put what where?" *destroys headset in anger*
                  Coworker: Distro of choice?
                  Me: Gentoo.
                  Coworker: Ahh. A Masochist. I thought so.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I liked in DSL tech support asking them what modem they had to be told "Its the black one!" I can see something similar happening to you.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I have mixed feelings about number 7. On the one hand, I do indeed have customers that have read a few web articles that somehow think they know more than me, with nearly a decade of experience with the precise technology they are having trouble with.

                      On the other hand, I work with vendor support reps that clearly haven't been on the job very long, and whose support skills seem to consist of reading crap off of the knowledge base and trying to push it on me if a few keywords line up. Heck, I have one guy my cases regularly get assigned to that doesn't even go that far.

                      Example: Customer has a CPU util. display problem on product X running version Y. Dumbass vendor support guy insists it's a dupe of known bug Z. Too bad the bug description talks about mem util. display, on a different set of products, running a different version of the code. He then proceeds to argue with me for ten minutes insisting it's a dupe. He even goes so far as to insist: "The bug never says anything about specific products!" Right in the bug title: "Customers using Products Foo and Bar may experience high displayed memory utilization."! (And my customer isn't using Foo or Bar.)

                      SirWired

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                      • #12
                        DSL Tech support.. good times..

                        Me: Ok, and what version of windows are you running?
                        SC: Wait, let me go look. (Sound of getting up off a chair, footsteps) Andersen.
                        Me: <facepalm>
                        Fixing problems... one broken customer at a time.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth sirwired View Post
                          I have mixed feelings about number 7. On the one hand, I do indeed have customers that have read a few web articles that somehow think they know more than me, with nearly a decade of experience with the precise technology they are having trouble with.

                          On the other hand, I work with vendor support reps that clearly haven't been on the job very long, and whose support skills seem to consist of reading crap off of the knowledge base and trying to push it on me if a few keywords line up. Heck, I have one guy my cases regularly get assigned to that doesn't even go that far.

                          Example: Customer has a CPU util. display problem on product X running version Y. Dumbass vendor support guy insists it's a dupe of known bug Z. Too bad the bug description talks about mem util. display, on a different set of products, running a different version of the code. He then proceeds to argue with me for ten minutes insisting it's a dupe. He even goes so far as to insist: "The bug never says anything about specific products!" Right in the bug title: "Customers using Products Foo and Bar may experience high displayed memory utilization."! (And my customer isn't using Foo or Bar.)

                          SirWired

                          Well, there are exceptions to every rule - but in having done tech support/customer service for the past 13 years or so (started in tech in Jan of 97, been bounced around here and there and pushed myself to learn as much as possible), I feel it reasonable to make it a rule.

                          I remember a time where I called my computer manufacturer because the display on my screen was off - it looked like it was smearing on my screen - this was back in '97, and what did they have me do?

                          They had me reinstall windows >_<

                          The problem remained.

                          I figured out that it was the video driver a bit later on - sure, there was a time when I was just in my learing stages, as a person who only relied on the knowledge databases, but I strived to learn, and I learned PDQ.

                          Here is the difference I've learned over the years. People who know what they are doing tend not to argue and will often state the steps they've already taken, and may even collaborate as needed. Those people make me happy.

                          Then there are the people who feel they are superior in their knowledge because - "I've been an electrical engineer for xxx", or "I have a CS degree and... " or my favorite, "I went to college, I know what I'm doing!"

                          But the majority of my customers who say "I don't think that's it." have no idea what they are talking about and have zero experience with troubleshooting electronic devices of any sort, (much less cell phones, and or PDA/blackberry devices) and just assume I'm wrong, no matter how I put it.

                          So for me, the rule, generally speaking, still stands.
                          Last edited by godaistudios; 01-22-2010, 11:51 AM.

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                          • #14
                            Well, I've run into my first real problem with Win7 over this past weekend. I've been running into a lot of file permission issues, much like I did when I installed Vista (which was not an upgrade, but utilized disks from a previous XP (computer).

                            Using TAKEOWN was the only way to fix the problem with Vista, and I'm having to do the same with Win 7, only this time, on my C drive as well. Some of the folders I need in order to install stuff like Office and Adobe products (CS3 & Acrobat 9) were locked and would not let me set the file permissions manually.

                            I had originally ran TAKEOWN /a /f in some format or another (the options didn't quite work with those options, and I don't remember now exactly what I used...) to fix them, but it didn't really work.

                            I'm doing it again now with TAKEOWN /F <external drive letter> /R /D Y which as of this writing has been running for almost 15 min and reporting success after success. The previous attempt finish in under 10 min on each drive, so I think it only got the root of the drive in question.

                            If it works, I'll write a batch file to do it to my other drives (E, F, G, H, I & J) so I can stop having to say "Yes, go ahead" every time I try to do something to them...

                            I'll post results tomorrow in case anyone is interested...



                            Eric the Grey
                            In memory of Dena - Don't Drink and Drive

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Quoth godaistudios View Post
                              Then there are the people who feel they are superior in their knowledge because - "I've been an electrical engineer for xxx", or "I have a CS degree and... " or my favorite, "I went to college, I know what I'm doing!"
                              As soon as I hear that, I automatically assume that the (l)user is an idiot. Sorry, but having a degree in an unrelated field doesn't mean *jack* when it comes to computers.

                              For example, whenever a certain former co-irker would have computer issues, he'd go on about how "smart" he was, and try to belittle my own intelligence. Needless to say, a 4.0 with a finance degree doesn't mean that you know everything outside of finance...and even that is questionable.

                              Needless to say, after being called an "idiot" one too many times, I got pissed, and left him to his own devices That is, "if you're so smart, you can fix your own damn computer."
                              Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines. --Enzo Ferrari

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