I know what I'm talking about! I'm a SOFTWARE ENGINEER!

[Gravekeeper]

A quick one shot. This isn't funny but this guy irked me so much his raging idiocy can't wait till I get off work for the rest of my usual digests. ><

I'm not sure if you've ever experienced the feeling of waiting to stab someone in the face with a pair of scissors. But its a curious experience.

This is tier 1 tech support, fyi.


SC: "I can't get your software to install. It says I have to disable my firewall and anti-virus for the installation?"
Me: That is correct, yes."
SC: "Well why do I have to do that? I can't get it to install, it just kicks me back to the start when I try."
Me: "You'll have to disable your anti virus and firewall temporarily for it to install properly."
SC: "Well I don't know how to disable my firewall! I have Mcafree but I can't see anyway to disable it aside from uninstalling it!"
Me: "There should be an option to disable it temporarily, or you can close it for the time being. If you're having a lot of trouble with it, you could try asking Mcafree directly for help with their software."
SC: "This is ridiculous that you're asking me to disable it! I had a firewall, blah blah software name, it protected me for 2 and a half years! I had over 8000 custom rules and exceptions on it! It saved me from THOUSANDS of attacks from hackers! Then a program asked me to disable it for install and it deleted them all!"
Me: "Well, unfortunately, both your firewall and anti-virus will need to be disable for the duration of the installation. If not your anti-virus may give you a false positive during installation and your firewall will block the first test connection from the software."
SC: "You can't just ask someone to disable their firewall! Do you know how much stuff is out there on the internet that would get you if you disabled it?! Thats like asking me to put a gun to my head and pull the trigger!"
Me: "You can reactivate it right after installation. It only needs to be disabled for the duration of the installation ( Which is like 30 seconds? )"
SC: "You can't ask me to do that! Its IMMORAL and UNETHICAL!!!!!!!"
( Wtf?! )
Me: "Its the only way to install our software."
SC: "No its not! You don't have to disable anything! You just have bad software! You should impart to your designers that what they're doing is WRONG and UNETHICAL!!!"
Me: "Unfortunately it is the only way the software can be installed. There is no way around it."
SC: "That's wrong! I know what I'm talking about! I'm a SOFTWARE ENGINEER!!1!!elventy"

You're a software engineer that doesn't know how to stop a task in Windows? Bra-farking-O you festering rectal ewok. That wasn't the end by the way. He continued to repeat his rant at me like a lunatic about how fantastical his compu-lore was vs how evil we were for about 6 minutes total. As the entire call was 9 minutes in duration. ><

Seriously though, what the hell? Immoral and unethical? A lot of software, especially drivers, advises you to disable your anti-virus before the install just in case. Its not like this is some fantastically crazy idea our client just came up with. Besides, the software in question because of its nature acts similar to a virus since its anti-theft software. It has to "hide" on your system so anyone that jacks your computer doesn't notice it. Hence we ask you to disable the anti-virus temporarily while its installing so it doesn't freak out.

[powerboy]

Thats the problem right there. He wanted you to jump thru the phone or computer, and install it yourself.

Mcafree sucks anyway. It never works right when I had it.

[CancelMyService]

Reminds me of the guy who told me he works for Neilson (TV ratings people) so that meant he was an expert on HD TV.

(btw, the guy was upset his soap opera was not being broadcast in HD. Apparently the NYC affiliate showed them in HD, the one here did not. BUT HE WAS IN TEH BIZNESS and knew I couldn't possibly be right)

[lordlundar]

SC: "You can't just ask someone to disable their firewall! Do you know how much stuff is out there on the internet that would get you if you disabled it?! Thats like asking me to put a gun to my head and pull the trigger!"

A quick wish that he would popped into my head when I read that.

[Shabo]

It's always the ones that claim to be "knowledgeable" that drive you crazy like that. Other people would just ask you how to do it.

And yeah, McAfee is terrible. When you tell it to disable things like the firewall, it hides the service, running in the background, () until you try to install something. Then it pops up and tells you that it's stopping something from installing, and you're like "wtf? you aren't supposed to be on!". So yeah. He should uninstall it. And get a better one.

And unless the network he's on is being scanned by a hacked machine, he's not going to get magically infected without doing anything. Of course, he's probably already infected with tons of viruses that he doesn't know about and that McAfee won't catch until he runs the updates... which he probably doesn't.

Conclusion? He's a stupid git.

[PuckishOne]

I find that a sort of inverse-square rule applies to things like this...namely, the less the alleged person actually knows, the more inflated a title they'll claim to possess.

Thusly:

"I'm a software engineer!" = "I can operate a calculator, but only with help."
"I'm a manager!" = "Only yesterday I was found seated in a corner, drooling on myself."
"I'm an attorney!" = "I TiVo 'Law and Order' weekly and sometimes I memorize some of the lines."
"I'm a very influential person!" = "I'm your unkempt, unemployed neighbor who spends his days swilling cheap beer on the front porch."

[Andara Bledin]

Yeah, McAffee isn't one of the better firewalls. We had it at my work on some of the machines, and it caused a lot of network headaches.

The firewalls I've had recently have all done popups for any outgoing traffic that it didn't recognize, with allow and block buttons and a checkbox for remembering the decision. So they likely wouldn't have stopped that install.

^-.-^

[LonelyStr8manInSF]

Unfortunately, I have had to pull "I am a computer technician" a couple times while dealing with moronic support; I always feel bad about it, and I always fear that once I do the support person will assume I'm one of these asshats. Still, when I'm calling for an RMA number for defective hardware, and I'm the manager of a computer store, and the support person starts asking me to check if the power is switched on and to check the cables are properly connected, I sometimes lose it.

[Kara]

SC: "No its not! You don't have to disable anything! You just have bad software! You should impart to your designers that what they're doing is WRONG and UNETHICAL!!!"

What a douchebag. And even if he was right (he's not), does he not understand that if you did go to the "designers" and they did wiggle their noses and make software that didn't require one to disable their anti-virus and firewall, that it wouldn't change the fact that he'd still have to do it with the version he purchased?

Too bad DOS is dead. "Okay, sir, here's what you need to do. Go into DOS and type FORMAT C:\ and all our problems will be over."

What exactly was he trying to install, anyway? I assume it was for some type of confidentiality software to make himself invisible online?

[BusBus]

You're a software engineer that doesn't know how to stop a task in Windows? Bra-farking-O you festering rectal ewok.

A festering rectal ewok! That is going into the mental roladex....

Geez....apparently, taking one IT course in high school makes you a software engineer

[DGoddessChardonnay]

A festering rectal ewok! That is going into the mental roladex....

Geez....apparently, taking one IT course in high school makes you a software engineer

By that token, I'm a programmer seeing as I took two years of Data Processing in HS 20 years ago.

[Imogene]

Too bad DOS is dead. "Okay, sir, here's what you need to do. Go into DOS and type FORMAT C:\ and all our problems will be over."

Definitely more fun than "Alt + F4 to continue"