Yawning in technicolor (gross)

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

GROSS SHIT COMING UP. DO NOT READ BEFORE, DURING OR SHORTLY AFTER EATING. YOU WERE WARNED.


LAST CHANCE TO BAIL.


Sometime over the weekend, a guy was shopping at the swamp. Suddenly the guys down in his stomach decided there were things there they didn't like, and they decided to send them back up.

He made a mad dash for the door.

He didn't quite make it.

Great plume of puke all over an endcap of checkout candy. He also tossed his cookies on some small Easter Basket trinkets and on some of those plastic Eco Cups we have way too damn many of.

I'm told it was quite an impressive sight.

The checkout candy was all claimed out and tossed, but the Easter basket trinkets and cups have to go back to the return center for credit. But the folks down at the return center don't want to handle other people's stomach contents, even if it is quintuple or sextuple-bagged, so I tossed the items and made up labels to go in the box of defective merchandise. It's our way of letting them know "hey, this stuff is technically salvage, but it got thrown up on, so we threw it out. Just letting you know how much we had to get rid of."

And this was supposed to be my weekend to work! Finally I caught a bit of a break.

[crazylegs]

MORE YUCKYNESS ABOUNDS!

[COLOR="Red"][B]GROSS SHIT COMING UP. DO NOT READ BEFORE, DURING OR SHORTLY AFTER EATING. YOU WERE WARNED.

Oh please, you're not even trying!

Having watched one pt vom over another (by holding the vom bowl at the 'shower head' angle), another vom onto a laminate floor so hard it BOUNCED and another with vom that looked like a whale's spray from a blow hole this hasn't even reached my top 10!

[BearLeeBadenaugh]

One of the worst incidences of projectile vomiting I've ever been witness to was my buddy Swampshack. On the way back from a beer bash on the sandbar B gave Swampy directions that included a "shortcut". I think it might have been a cornfield at one point, we were bouncing all over the place. Speed and motion got to be too much for swampy and he didn't want to stop in case the car sank into the field, so he proceeded to fire a technicolor yawn all over the inside of the windshield and dashboard. The bounceback was so fierce that swampy and brad were covered, and splashes made it to the backseat.


Then there's another buddy who threw up while taking a pull off a bong while laying face down on a massage table. He hurled into the tube and kept it pressed to his face hard enough that it fountained out of the stem. IIRC, that's the same party we tried to knock out a buddy with a snow crab and a coffee table by facehuggering him. To facehugger someone, place a glass coffee table over the sleeping/passed out person and set a spread out snow crab directly over their face. Cue up the sound byte from Alien, turn the volume up and shake their shoulder while screaming "It's gonna get you!" or something to the like.

Now I wanna do that again but with a slowmo camera suspended above the table, for that hi-res, slow speed smush effect.


Oh yeah, can't leave a barfin thread without mentioning one of the worst ones I've ever had to clean up. I worked in a movie theatre back in high school, at a rural sixplex. It was the xmas season, and we'd have special events on saturday mornings, clowns, ice cream, etc, followed by a double showing of kids movies. I swear this kid must have eaten an entire gallon of ice cream by himself, followed by a ginormous popcorn and the usual bucket o soda. About halfway through the second film I hear screaming and a flood of kids come running from the theatre. Kiddo managed to hit seven people and the mess ran down the floor of the entire theatre, from the 3rd row in all the way down to the front.

[eltf177]

The worst I ever remember were from the _MASSIVE_ drinking contests back in college. These clowns would put away an entire 24-pack of beer along with quarts of hard liquor in a "macho" attempt to prove who was and wasn't a man.

The sight and smell of the area on the morning after was enough to curl your toes. Why none of these people never died of alcohol poisoning I will never know...

[Tama]

The Law of Inverse Value, of course.

[wolfie]

To facehugger someone, place a glass coffee table over the sleeping/passed out person and set a spread out snow crab directly over their face.

So it's a distant cousin of "The time the Padre tried to eat pressed ham through the wrapper"? Cookies (tossed or not) for reference.

The worst I ever remember were from the _MASSIVE_ drinking contests back in college. These clowns would put away an entire 24-pack of beer along with quarts of hard liquor in a "macho" attempt to prove who was and wasn't a man.

An Artsman and an Engineer once found a gallon can.
Said the Artsman "match me drink for drink, let's see if you're a man".
They drank three drinks, the Artsman died, his face was turning green.
The Engineer drank on and said "It's only gasoline".

[dalesys]

...The Engineer drank on and said "It's only gasoline".

Watch me light this fart...