Horribly inappropriate work conversations!

[fireheart]

This one was started with my boss...kinda.

So I'm prepping fruit for afternoon tea and I notice that we have some "chocolate balls" that were made the previous day in the fridge. My coworker is busy preparing some popcorn (in the popcorn machine of DOOM) for afternoon snack when my 2IC (doing paperwork) realises that we have the chocolate balls.

Cue the following conversation:

2IC: Hey, we still have those chocolate balls in the fridge!
Me (poking up from the fridge): are they still any good?
2IC: Yeah, we made them yesterday!
Me: Ah...
Bossman: Question: do those things have salt in them?
Coworkers/2IC:
Me: *kept my mouth shut as I knew EXACTLY where this was going*
Bossman: Did you ever watch that episode of South Park where Chef makes those salty chocolate balls and he does a little song to go with them...
Me *somewhat absentmindedly*: Didn't the song say something like "put them in your mouth" or something like that?
Bossman: I'm NOT going to repeat that because it's not exactly work-safe...plus I don't know the lyrics.
Coworkers:

Me *over the laughter to bossman*: Am I the only person in the room who actually got that reference without it needing to be explained?
Bossman: Yeah, you probably were.

My coworker in the OTHER room did get the reference, but didn't hear us at the time. (and the scary thing is, I'm about 3 years older than our two male staff members...)

Those chocolate balls were YUM though. Even the kids told me to try one!

[prjkt]

A number of conversations at my workplace(s) often end up in "Wrongtown"
Today had a coworker ask, "How long is it?" Referring to a piece of confectionary - my response to her was, "That's not really an appropriate thing to ask your manager"

(Note - I am very careful about what I say around coworkers unless I know them very well - wouldn't fly at all with the two new your female staff on with me in the evening, but the old-timers I've worked with for ages are usually the ones that start it)

[NecessaryCatharsis]

We never stop having inappropriate conversations, intentional or not. Favourite from a couple days ago (it was very cold out)

Co-worker 1: My legs are really cold today
Co-worker 2: My new gloves are great though, my hands are so hot they are sweating
CW1: Awesome, will you put your hands in my pants?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

When I saw the topic title I turned to the coworker beside me and said, "Isn't that an everyday occurrence about here?" She agreed and laughed

Sounds like my back room . . .when you're a female who works with mostly guys, you can pretty much expect it.

And if my regular Pepsi driver shows up, it usually ends in a "That's what she said" moment.

[LillFilly]

I was telling someone about my 'Herbal Research' and got a sideways look from a supervisor! I was trying to tell them about the old-time medicinal herb seeds I got for my garden; comfrey, echinacia, lemon grass, chamomile, etc.

[MoonCat]

Reminds me of the time I heard a manager passing through say "I'm carrying 50 pounds here!" and a woman from the Layout dept said, "Don't brag!"

[sms001]

. . .when you're a female who works with mostly guys, you can pretty much expect it.

And just the opposite at my place of work; Susan can make all five of us guys blush or hang-jawed within minutes of clocking in.

[XCashier]

Sounds like my back room . . .when you're a female who works with mostly guys, you can pretty much expect it.

My workplace is nearly all female, and we can get just as obnoxious as guys do sometimes.

[CrappyToHelp]

At work, we use red tags for DVDs ( http://home.amaray.com/userfiles/image/tag_am.jpg ) and when they take them to the main checkouts, the operators keep them in black buckets under the tills.

I had the task of going and collecting them one day. I go up to my favourite checkout girl:

"Can I stick my hand inside your bucket?"

Customers looked outraged. She laughed, thank the Lord.

[otakuneko]

Did I mention the time one of the managers at my work was telling a story about how one time, a (female) friend of hers just blurted out in a crowded mall, "I just paid 20$ for a screw!" ....
...

after getting her purse repaired?

Well, now I have.

[fireheart]

Not so much a work-related one, but still funny.

I'll sum it up this way:

Try and talk about how a saxophone and a flute have identical fingerings without mentioning the word "fingering" (or "positions") in front of my very dirty-minded friend...

It didn't work.

[cashierbex]

Best moment happened when my late 40s coworker and I were talking about porn. Our very religious manager's wife walks by eyeing us. We just died laughing.

[Victory Sabre]

Well, I do have one.

I stopped into work om my day off on a Sunday (yes a day off, amazing!). I was talking to my friend who was working that day. I was out of town on business Saturday and didn't get home till very early Sunday morning. After I got home I stayed up for another hour or so watching Benny Hill videos on yuotube. So I tell her that I was up wayyy too late last night. she said "who were you having sex with?".

Yeah, I was laughing and blushing.

[SongsOfDragons]

We entertain ourselves by finding all the dirty place and house names on the maps we're editing.

I found an 'Oliver Cromwell's Hole' today

[MadMike]

Bossman: Did you ever watch that episode of South Park where Chef makes those salty chocolate balls and he does a little song to go with them...
Me *somewhat absentmindedly*: Didn't the song say something like "put them in your mouth" or something like that?
Bossman: I'm NOT going to repeat that because it's not exactly work-safe...plus I don't know the lyrics.

Here is the video. They actually have this one on karaoke, and a few weeks ago I got up and did it. Funny thing, I've only ever seen white guys get up and sing this one.

In a somewhat related story, a few years ago, when my company was still in the old building, a few of us were joking around on a slow day. One of the ladies had one of those keychains with the buttons that make different sound effects, and was showing it off. Then one of the guys got out a similar, but larger device with more buttons, and showed it to her. Without thinking, she blurted out, "Oh, you have a big one!" A lot of "prairie dogging" followed.