Har Har, Very Funny!

[LillFilly]

Well, not only did someone take a permanent marker and change our 'No Smoking Area' and 'No Loitering' signs to 'Smoking Area' and 'Go Loitering,' but someone crafted a hand-made sign for the Women's Restroom stating "Restroom Closed, Please use Mens Room"

Funny, and yet really, really not.

[BeenThereDoneThat]

Welcome to kindergarten...without the milk, cookies, and naps

[Kristev]

The gang graffiti in the bathrooms of my last job was just horrible. And so were the racist remarked. One time, I got so mad, I took out a marker myself and put the no symbol over a swastika. Of course, that was before I joined the janitorial team. I never did find a chemical that could remove that junk.

[Food Lady]

No symbol over a swastika? Very cool.

[mharbourgirl]

The gang graffiti in the bathrooms of my last job was just horrible. And so were the racist remarked. One time, I got so mad, I took out a marker myself and put the no symbol over a swastika. Of course, that was before I joined the janitorial team. I never did find a chemical that could remove that junk.

This may seem counter-intuitive, but get one of those dry-erase marker kits that has the cleaning solution included. Scribble over the writing with a dry-erase marker, then spray the solution on. Wipe clean. The 'indelible' marker will actually come off. Some of the paint may come off too, but that's preferable to the crap some people like to write on walls.

[SuperDan]

At my old job in grocery, at the store's original location, the restroom graffiti was absolutely magnificent. Seriously, some serious time, thought and art skill was put into most of what appeared on the men's room stall walls. (The ladies room graffiti usually consisted of flowers, balloons, and inspirational comments.) My personal favorite was titled "The Search for Mark's Brain." It was a caricature of our overweight ass man at the time bent over, with the SM at the time crawling into Mark's rear (and in past his shoulders), and Mr. Personality (non-foods manager with no personality) standing behind holding the flashlight, expressing his desire to look next. But I digress...

The old location's stall walls were wooden. They were painted light gray. When scrubbing and using graffiti removers every so often was starting to cost in materials and labor, the managers decided to paint the stall walls black. But I guess that's why silver Sharpie was invented (actually, I found one hidden in the bathroom deodorizer thing once).

At the new location after the move, the stall walls were stainless steel. Marker cleaned up much easier, but now the restrooms were public rather than employee only, plus the maturity level of the employees as a whole took a nose dive. Markers remained a popular media for use on the plastic toilet paper dispensers (which never really came out) but scratching into the stainless steel became the new media of choice. Also, the quality of the work went, pardon the pun, right into the shitter. Swastikas, F-bomb laden insults, gay jokes, phallic images, and everything else that comes with someone in their 20s with a maturity of a 2-year-old. I usually heard through the grape vine who the artists and poets were that I admired at the old location, but I never figured out who the shit-for-brains asshats were who vandalized the new place.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

In high school, I used to be subjected to the racist restroom-stall rants of somebody known only as the "shit house bandit."

Years ago several guys from my school hatched a plan to pipe bomb cars outside the homes of Hmong families and then shoot the inhabitants when they ran outside to investigate. They're all in jail now, possibly for the rest of their miserable lives. It wouldn't surprise me if one of these guys was the shit house bandit, since he seemed to save most of his vitriol for the Hmong.