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Wherein Freedom Was Always An Illusion

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  • #16
    Quoth Gravekeeper View Post
    I would rather staple my ballsack to my taint and take up luge.
    That statement reminded me of this video.
    "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

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    • #17
      When I worked in a bridal store, I was one day tasked wit calling customers and reminding them of their upcoming appointments. The number I dialed was for a town nearby, and I asked for -Name of Bride-. A weary woman said, "You need to dial all ten digits, and it's an Alaska area code." There was a pause before she said, "We sure will be glad when this wedding is over."

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      • #18
        I'm just glad to see something from you, GK. My mom is never on this board but she remembers your stories and sometimes makes references to the in-jokes. You've had a big impact on people because you are witty and intelligent. I'm glad you don't have to deal with those calls anymore, except this time.
        "Is it hot in here to you? It's very warm, isn't it?"--Nero, probably

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        • #19
          Quoth workerbee222 View Post
          LOL: Hello, may I speak with Alvin Flatbush?
          Me: I'm sorry, I think you have the wrong number.
          My mom had our landline number before she and my dad got married until about 2 years ago, so for 50 years.

          When I was little, every year, a few days before Christmas, we'd get a phone call from some little old lady trying to get a taxi. Every year we told her she had the wrong number.
          Last edited by EricKei; 04-29-2020, 09:30 PM. Reason: Snip. We just read it, thanks.
          It's floating wicker propelled by fire!

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          • #20
            When I got my new cellphone there was one who guy who had number previously. I know this because everyone he had ever known kept calling or texting me and acting completely surprised that I did not know who they were asking for. This went on for months.

            There was even a call from the state justice department. Two calls, from the same department, after I had verbally explained to them that I had just started using this number.

            The third time said justice department called me I said, "You know, if he's this good at evading you, I'm starting to root for him."
            Don't waste time trying to convince someone that the sky is blue.

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            • #21
              Quoth Ironclad Alibi View Post
              Them: Is this Ironclad Alibi? (realizing I didn't recognize her voice)

              Me: Yes:

              Them: Major Ironclad Alibi?

              Me: No.

              At which point that call ended.

              Turns out there was another couple with our names in the area
              Back in the before times, when I was married, had one run little run in similar to this. Guy comes to the house looking for Mrs. <lastname>. Which one, we've got three of them here.

              Um... er, <Firstname> <lastname>?

              Which one, we've got two of them here. (Brother in law's wife had the same first name as me, which made things FUN, lemme tell ya).

              Um... er, um... *rustling of papers* <Firstname> *visibly hesitant*<middle initial> <lastname>?

              Hey, we have a winner! Yep, she's right here.

              Poor guy was SO flustered and confused. It was hilarious.
              You're only delaying the inevitable, you run at your own expense. The repo man gets paid to chase you. ~Argabarga

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              • #22
                My mother in law, brother in laws wife, othe brother in laws girl friend,I w and father in laws 2nd wife all had the same first name. I was the only one not named Mary.

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                • #23
                  My sister's sister-in-law (their husbands were brothers) has the same first name, just spelled differently.
                  This was one of those times where my mouth says "have a nice day" but my brain says "go step on a Lego". - RegisterAce
                  I can't make something magically appear to fulfill all your hopes and dreams. Believe me, if I could I'd be the first person I'd help. - Trixie

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                  • #24
                    Quoth judecat View Post
                    My mother in law, brother in laws wife, othe brother in laws girl friend,I w and father in laws 2nd wife all had the same first name. I was the only one not named Mary.
                    I have three aunts named Linda. My mom threatened to disown me if I married a Linda.

                    I have my share of phone stories: One asked how much for a trip to Midway. I replied, "Tax, not taxi service. Have you finished your return yet?" Click (how rude!)

                    The other one asked for a very unfamiliar name. "Sorry no one here or working here by that name."
                    "Well [Unfamiliar name] said he lives there."
                    "Ma'am, this is a tax office there are no residents...it may feel that way [in April], but no one lives here."
                    "Then why did he say he lives there?"
                    "No idea, ask him the next time you talk to him."

                    BTW, welcome back Gravekeeper, sorry to hear that you are still a lunatic magnet.
                    Last edited by taxguykarl; 08-18-2020, 07:34 PM.
                    I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my keister!

                    Who is John Galt?
                    -Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

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                    • #25
                      I had a classmate in our department in college who was...different. She'd go out to bars, flirt with men, give them a fake name, but her real phone number. My friend (her room mate) got calls weekly from men asking for different women. She thought some random woman had just picked a phone number to give out. Then someone described the woman he'd met. She had a couple really distinctive physical traits. The numerous men calling (and the fact that the Classmate also gave strangers her real address) prompted my friend to end the living situation rather quickly. Classmate had to be told that if she didn't want to hear from the men she met, she needed to give them a fake number, as well. She was really book smart, but lacked common sense.

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                      • #26
                        Quoth Kittish View Post
                        Back in the before times, when I was married, had one run little run in similar to this. Guy comes to the house looking for Mrs. <lastname>. Which one, we've got three of them here.
                        I used to have similar fun. My dad (and Grandfather) had the same first name, but different middle names all starting with the same letter.

                        Call would come in asking for Mr. Z. "Which one?"
                        Um, Mr X Z" Which one?
                        Uhhhhh Mr. X Y (initial) Z?" Which one?
                        Cue long pause and finally whoever answered would ask what they were calling for. Great way to identify sales calls.

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                        • #27
                          Back when I was a teenager we'd occasionally get calls from what sounded like a teenage guy who would ask for "Jo Ann." Now, my mother's name was Jo Ann, and the result was a lot of hilarity. One day I came home from work, and my sister told me, "We got a call from Jo Ann's friend today." Then there was the time my mother called what she thought was a student interested in her 4-H club, which was involved in raising Guide Dog puppies. No one was home so she left a message for the student, whose name was Chris. The lady who called back wondered why my mother had called to talk to her 2-year-old named Chris. Mom had just called the wrong number.

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                          • #28
                            Quoth taxguykarl View Post
                            I have three aunts named Linda.
                            So do I! It must've been a very popular name back in the 40's or so.

                            I once temped at a large software sales company with hundreds of employees. There would be someone calling in to talk to "Mike". Well, we've got about twenty Mikes, could you narrow it down a bit?! Of course, they never knew the last name...!
                            I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
                            My LiveJournal
                            A page we can all agree with!

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                            • #29
                              Quoth XCashier View Post
                              Of course, they never knew the last name...!
                              If I remember correctly, his last name is Rotch.
                              "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

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                              • #30
                                Quoth workerbee222 View Post
                                I had a classmate in our department in college who was...different. She'd go out to bars, flirt with men, give them a fake name, but her real phone number. My friend (her room mate) got calls weekly from men asking for different women. She thought some random woman had just picked a phone number to give out. Then someone described the woman he'd met. She had a couple really distinctive physical traits. The numerous men calling (and the fact that the Classmate also gave strangers her real address) prompted my friend to end the living situation rather quickly. Classmate had to be told that if she didn't want to hear from the men she met, she needed to give them a fake number, as well. She was really book smart, but lacked common sense.
                                Could've been worse. I once shared a house with two other people. The guy was a great roomie (very neat, very tidy) but should've had a huge warning symbol tattooed on his forehead to warn women off ("If they don't put out on the first date, there won't be a second." Seriously, that was his attitude. )

                                The girl, on the other hand, had nothing to recommend her except her perky personality. She was a worse housekeeper than I am, and that's saying something ... AND she liked to bar crawl AND she liked to bring home random guys after a night's barhopping.

                                AND her bedroom was right across the hall from mine.

                                No, there wasn't a lot of racket -- I tended to think more in terms of her bringing home some psycho some fine night.

                                This is one of many reasons I decided shortly thereafter that I prefer living alone. "Oh, but you save money with roommates!" Yeah, but I save my sanity without.
                                Customer service: More efficient than a Dementor's kiss
                                ~ Mr Hero

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