Video Game Quotes

[AnaKhouri]

Him: "Look, there's a tiger in my car! What the hell tiger?! It just clawed my ass! And all these animal rights people are after me..."

Me: "What the fuck? That tiger attacked you first!"

***

Him: "Hey look, I own this sex toy shop!"

Me: "Good, we could use the extra money."


This is the weirdest game ever.

[RayvenQ]

Him: "Look, there's a tiger in my car! What the hell tiger?! It just clawed my ass! And all these animal rights people are after me..."

Me: "What the fuck? That tiger attacked you first!"

***

Him: "Hey look, I own this sex toy shop!"

Me: "Good, we could use the extra money."


This is the weirdest game ever.

Saints row 3 I take it? (I didnt read the OP...)

The whoel tiger in the car was freaking hilarious

[Mytical]

I forgot one, it was a long time ago when I was playing DOOM. I had just scored a invincibility orb..and somebody was attacking me. So they figured out that they were in trouble..and started to run. I chased after them (firing a way) shouting the whole time "COME BACK HERE, I AM NOT DONE WITH YOU!"

[RayvenQ]

Me in Teamspeak Earlier:

*excitedly "Hey guys I got a semi!"

I did of course mean a semiconductor part for my ship, honest!

[Crossbow]

One of my favorite exchanges was several years ago when my clan was playing Halo a lot. We were running a race map, and I was at the wheel.

Clanner: Who the fuck is driving this 'hog? An epileptic ferret on crack?
Me: I am. I'm better at this than driving for real.
Clanner/Co-worker: I am NEVER riding to lunch with you. Ever.

And of the course the epic "Boom! Sticky grenade to the nuts for the win!"

[Lace Neil Singer]

I wish I was as articulate as people here seem to be; the last thing I yelled while playing zOMG! was "Buzzkill, you utter cunt. I AM TRYING TO FARM!!" as once again, I got killed by Buzzkill while farming wolves. XD

[Kristev]

Street Fighter Alpha. The very first night my brother and I ever played it, at a church New Years Eve 'take-over' at a pizza parlour.

Me: "Of course I won the fight. I told you not to jump into your own hadoken. It's your own fault! Then again, it felt good to finally beat you for once."

Explanation: We had never played Street Fighter Alpha before, only Street Fighter 2, Turbo, and Super SF 2. So, while my brother spent most of his night playing an alien-shooting game, I played SF Alpha because there was nothing else that interested me. I found a new favorite character, the sorceress Rose. And, as my brother found out, Rose can deflect fireballs. My brother is a big Ryu fan, and I could almost never beat him. Once I learned how to use Rose, I stood a 50/50 chance. She doesn't have to put up with fireball spamming, which is how he normally won . . .

My, was he surprised. First, his own fireball deflected off into the air, and against my warning (as I'd been playing all night and he hadn't, so I'd seen what her Soul Reflect could do,) he jumped right into it. My win.

[Lace Neil Singer]

It feels so good to beat your brother, doesn't it? XD My middle brother also mained Ryu, but he got complacent, thinking that he could always beat me... unknown to him, I was practicing on the game constantly, mugging up on my main Vega's special moves (clue: They involve a LOT of frantic button pressing. This applies to every effing SF game. -.-) til I knew I was good enough to beat him. When I did, I used the flying suplex move on him til he got wise and started dragon punching, then I used the slide move. I beat him, prompting the following outburst:

"Stop being so fucking cheap! You're not allowed to play Vega any more, and anyway Ryu is a better character than Vega anyway!!"

XD Yeah, in YOUR opinion.

[Scorpodael]

Dwarf Fortress. Oh, Dwarf Fortress...

"What's this symbol on the overworld map mean? ... Oh. Goblin towers. Joy."
"You're on fire! Stop walking through the booze!"
"Adamantine, yay!" -5 minutes later. "Oh. Right. The demons."
"Huh. I didn't know that a head could bounce that far."

And in adventurer mode, a little more recently...
"What's in here?" *Promptly gets shot by three crossbowmen and stabbed through the head with a pike.* "Ah. Death. Right then."
"Screw you, I'm a werechinchilla!"

[Jay 2K Winger]

Less a quote than a story to get to the quotes.

When I was going to NOVA (the community college here in Northern Virginia) several years ago, they had a Soul Calibur 2 machine in the arcade on campus. It got a lot of play, especially for its "Conquest Mode." Basically you create a character on the machine, and it "learns" your style. You join one of four armies in the game, challenge another army, and face six warriors of comparable level and a seventh that you choose yourself. (These warriors are often other players' characters.) Then you'd face your own character in a mirror battle to see how well it was doing. It was fun and interesting, and you got all eight battles regardless of win/loss. The only way you didn't get your battles is if someone else stepped up and put money in for a Vs Battle. However, it was generally accepted among the players at NOVA that interrupting someone's Conquest Mode for a Vs Battle was a dick move, and should only be done if the Conquest player agreed to it.

As with any arcade fighting game, there are the trolls. This particular one was a fan of using Maxi-- the nunchaku user-- who had mastered a single combination that he could manage to endlessly chain and repeat. Given an opening, he would go into this endless combo and take you down. And he loved to scream and shout when he would beat you. The Troll also liked to interrupt Conquest players, beat them with his Maxi combo, then start his own Conquest Mode.

This particular day, I saw him pull this routine with someone, screaming in trollish fashion after each round he won in Vs Battle, then start up Conquest Mode. I, however, had spotted a weakness in his strategy and felt it was time to take the Troll down a peg or two. So I stepped up, interrupted his Conquest for a Vs Battle. He chose Maxi, I chose Raphael, the rapier user.

As soon as Round 1 started, I just had Raphael crouch and hit the B-attack button, which makes Raphael slash in a down-forward arc. With that attack, the Troll's Maxi couldn't get close enough to start his endless combo. I didn't deviate from this pattern, using the same attack, didn't move forward, just waited for him to come to me. Result? Flawless victory for Yours Truly.

Round 2, I foolishly deviated from that which worked and started trying to be more aggressive, but the Troll had Maxi hit a jump kick, then instantly transitioned into his endless combo, not giving me a chance to recover. Result? The Troll wins. He immediately shouts: "Woo! Yeah! WHAT'S MY NAME, BITCH?!"

I just shook my head at him. Round 3, I went right back into the same strategy that served me so well in Round 1. Crouch, B. Over and over and over. He couldn't get close enough to hit me. Result? Flawless victory for Yours Truly. I turned to the Troll and deadpanned: "Yeah. What's MY name, bitch."

The Troll pulled a perfect CBF and stormed out of the arcade.

And lo, the Troll was defeated.

[Andara Bledin]

When he finally built up uber, he ubered a sniper!

I think that's your cue to leave that game. >_>

Diablo 3: well that was disappointingly easy.

Um, are you talking about the game on Normal? Normal is supposed to be easy.

If you can't face-roll through Normal, you're pretty much a newb.

This is the weirdest game ever.

How can anyone not love the bizarre, over-the-top randomness of SR:tT?

They involve a LOT of frantic button pressing. This applies to every effing SF game. -.-

I have a friend who loves to play SF games at arcades. She's a 40-something Asian woman who can kick serious ass.

She'll usually wait until someone's using some cheap method to monopolize the game, then hop and and use Chun Li to waste them. Then when they whine about her using Chun Li, she'll swap to Honda and do the same thing.

Timing and precision stick position is really king in that franchise.

^-.-^

[Lace Neil Singer]

Oh god, yes. XD I've beaten people normally using Chun Li and Vega; I only ever resort to cheapiness with my middle brother.

[RayvenQ]

Just last night I had a very colorful string of favored quotes while playing Team Fortress 2. One of my favorite includes:

WARNING - Loooots of swearing

"What the fuck!? You stupid medic! Why the fuck are you trying to take out a level two sentry with your syringe gun!? Heal me, dammit! Build your uber you fucking moron!"

"What the fuck medic! Heal me! It's a demoman! I'm a scout! Demomen are a scouts prey! Fuckin' heal me and I will save you! Oh look, you're dead. Not big surprise."

I really don't want it to seem like I hate on medics all the time. I love medics! It's just that this one was so, so stupid! When he finally built up uber, he ubered a sniper! You don't fucking uber snipers! Gaaaaahhh!

Just wanted to clear that up. The most common thing my fiance has the privilege of hearing me scream about is this -

"Seven Snipers! Why the fuck do we have seven snipers on our team!? We don't fucking need seven snipers! Jesus crunchy Christ people! Some of you snipers need to switch classes now!"

[3 of those snipers do change class . . . to spy]

"Fuck! What the fuck!? We still have 4 shitty snipers and now we have 4 shitty spies! (There was a spy before and he sucked) What the fuck is wrong with you people!? We need some fucking soldiers and demomen dammit! Not shitty spies and snipers!"

Yeah, I know. I get very angry but I really can't fucking stand not being able to play a decent round or two simply because some fuckers don't understand the concept of a team based FPS. Go back to Call of Dookie assholes, because you ain't hot "super leet' sniper" shit in TF2.

My fiance jokes that he's going to record me playing TF2 and ranting on about how stupid my teammates are. I actually hope that he does. Imagine the hits it'll get on youtube. I'm pretty much a female version of ChoZo.

As an often played medic, i have to say, that guy was a bloody idiot.

[AnaKhouri]

Husband: "Who just mouthed off to me? Was it you, old lady? I'm going to beat you to death with a dildo. I'm going to kill this hot dog mascot too. OK, time to start my insurance fraud."

He also has a car with a giant black guy head on it that shoots fire from its mouth.

The really funny thing is, Husband has never raised his voice in my presence...has never been in a physical fight that I know of, and has the patience of a saint. It's more hilarious when you know him.

[Jay 2K Winger]

On Twitter between me and a friend:

Jay2KWinger
Reminder: we never saw the body. #JohnnyGatLives #SaintsRow3

smashpro1
@Jay2KWinger You went back to Stilwater to bury him!

Jay2KWinger
@smashpro1 NEVER. SAW. THE BODY. #JohnnyGatLives