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If I ever have to come to my hospital for medical care...just shoot me.

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  • If I ever have to come to my hospital for medical care...just shoot me.

    Please. Put me out of my misery because I am honestly afraid of these people.

    I had a person call tonight because they forgot their password.

    Me - Ok, I can help you. What's your username?

    Them - ... (I swear you could hear them do the typical <blink><blink> of incomprehension over the phone.) Uhm...what would that be?

    Me - (mentally sighing and rolling my eyes) It would be the first initial and your last name.

    Them - Uhm...<blink><blink>...uhm...oh damn...gimme a sec.

    30 seconds pass...then a minute...then 5

    Them - I don't know. What would it be?

    Me - What's your name?

    Them - Jane Anyuser (name changed to protect my ass)

    Me - Then your username would be "janyuser".

    Them - Oh! Like my username!

    A few minutes go by, temp password is given, user changes to new password I hang up and start banging my head against my desk once again.

    And people wonder why there is a dent in my desk the shape of my forehead.
    I never lost my faith in humanity. Can't lose what you never had right?

  • #2
    wow. Just wow.

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    • #3
      I know I have posted about this before.

      when I worked for the trade show exhibition building company, there was one west coast division (San Francisco) that puzzled me in just the same manner.

      I usually got into the office around 7:30am central US time. about 7:45am my phone would ring (yes I really did pay attention to the time after a short time) at least 3 or 4 times a week. It would be San Fran area, specifically one person, asking me the EXACT same question each and every time (question not really important but the SAME QUESTION).

      I e-mailed him instructions. I FAXed instructions, I e-mailed his supervisor instructions.

      Still at 7:45am my time the phone would ring.

      Thank whatever diety, with Y2K we upgraded that system to a centralized system. Sanity restored.
      I'm lost without a paddle and headed up SH*T creek.
      -- Life Sucks Then You Die.


      "I'll believe corp. are people when Texas executes one."

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      • #4
        I wonder if we work in the same place.

        Coworker: (wiggles mouse furiously, pounds her palm on the keyboard) This computer won't turn on!

        Me: I don't think it's on, Gracie.

        Coworker: (wiggles mouse some more) I know! This is bull! Nothing they give us works!

        Me: No, I don't think it's TURNED ON. None of the little lights are on. Try the power button.

        Coworker: What?

        Me: The power button. Right there?

        Coworker: ....

        Me: (reaches over to press it. Computer beeps, turns on) See? There's directions right there. (Under the clear plastic map on which we do our work. We spend at least five hours a day standing over this thing.)

        Coworker: Oh! I never noticed there were things there!

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        • #5
          I have had to have awkward and distressing (for them) meetings with users where I remind them that knowing and remembering their password is part of their job. I'll reset their password for them, but if this "forgetting password" thing doesn't stop happening on a regular basis, then I'm going to have to speak with their supervisor about their job performance. I have to remember five passwords for my general duties, and my "little black book" that I keep in the fire safe has grown out of control. How hard is it to remember just one?
          "Them boys ain't zombies! They're just stupid!"

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          • #6
            I don't know why it is, but some people spend so much time convincing themselves that computers are complicated or hard or whatever, that when confronted with something stupidly simple on a computer, it breaks their brains.

            A good example I've run into is people who have been working in offices for years, decades even. They handle information found in paperwork by hand, by typewriter, over the phone, etc. But on a computer screen? Suddenly they can't figure out what esoteric terms like 'first name', 'last name', 'telephone number' and the like could possibly refer to.

            It could be a form they've filled out with a pencil or a typewriter every day for 10+ years, but if it's on a computer screen it's suddenly incomprehensible.

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth Difdi View Post
              ...some people spend so much time convincing themselves that computers are complicated or hard or whatever, that when confronted with something stupidly simple on a computer, it breaks their brains.
              QFT. When I taught a 101 computer class, the first two hours were essentially devoted to overcoming technophobia. Took me a semester or two to learn that the reason the first hours weren't going well was because the students were "afraid they'd break something." So we'd spend time discussing it, READING the screen, and (fun) clicking things randomly on the desktop.

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              • #8
                Quoth sms001 View Post
                afraid they'd break something
                Allow me to quote from the BBC Microcomputer User Guide, as published in 1981 or thereabouts:

                ...you will have to tune the TV carefully to get a really clear picture.

                After that, do by all means press every button in sight on the computer - you can't do it any harm at all. Usually it just keeps on saying

                Mistake

                whenever you press the large key marked RETURN. That just means that the computer does not understand our commands. Its fault - not yours!
                An excellent antidote to technophobia, if you ask me. It helps that a computer with no network connection, no permanent storage (by default) and an OS in ROM is genuinely almost impossible to break unless you physically damage it.

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                • #9
                  The media doesn't help much. Computers are relentlessly contrary in drama because it adds conflict; when they do act properly, it's always more glamorous than it is in real life and requires vast and enormously specialized skills to operate. You'd be surprised at the number of people who actually have to be told that a computer won't explode or shoot sparks due to mistyped instructions at the keyboard level. Nor will it get judgmental or insult them - it's not smart enough to care.

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                  • #10
                    Quoth Chromatix View Post
                    Allow me to quote from the BBC Microcomputer User Guide, as published in 1981 or thereabouts:
                    I like the VIC-20 one, it says something like "You can never damage your VIC by typing on the keyboard, unless you happen to be an elephant."

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I'm so glad I grew up (born in late 70's so this was a time when computer technology wasn't common) with a computer-programmer for a father. We were also early-adopters of a LOT of tech. We had a home video camera that recorded on VHS and VCR in like 1980. We got our first home PC when I was 10. Before that we had an Atari gaming system that came with a keyboard and you could do basic programming on the gaming system right on your TV and save it to cassette tape. Of course there were the Apple II's at school, but with all the tech at home I never experienced fear of computers. I even had my own personal PC when I was 15 and took it with me to college (had to exchange it for a more up-to-date PC my junior year), but this was back in the 90s when most people didn't have their own computer in their dorm room and relied on the computer labs.

                      Then I grew up and married a computer-programmer whose friends are all computer tech guys (one even specializes in Mac products), so if I do run into some kind of problem on my personal lap-top or ipad that I can't figure out on my own or with a little Googling, I know enough to stop messing with it and let them take care of it.

                      I forget sometimes that no everyone has my experience, but, geez, computers are so user-friendly now days.
                      Don't wanna; not gonna.

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                      • #12
                        Most computers are user friendly, but it depends on the OS. Some places use special setups, like using Linux, or UNIX.

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                        • #13
                          Quoth 42_42_42 View Post
                          I forget sometimes that no everyone has my experience, but, geez, computers are so user-friendly now days.
                          This is very true, but one thing I often remind some of the lusers who call up the IT Service Desk: "Remember-- computers can smell fear."
                          PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

                          There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

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                          • #14
                            Quoth 42_42_42 View Post
                            ... but, geez, computers are so user-friendly now days.
                            Yes, but lots of users are not computer-friendly.
                            "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

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                            • #15
                              Quoth Ironclad Alibi View Post
                              Yes, but lots of users are not computer-friendly.
                              Oh god, is this ever true! I have one coworker who likes to say she's "not computer savvy" in a tone of voice that makes it clear she has no intention of changing that state.

                              I have another one that has been shown multiple times how to email an attachment. Twice last week alone. For some reason she keeps thinking she has to have the attachment open when she wants to send it to someone. She also copies herself in on every email that she wants to have a record of. I've told her it's in her sent folder, but she still feels she has to do it this way.

                              And I'm not a computer geek. I only know what I've picked up in my daily usage at work and at home. You could write what I know on the head of a pin and have room left over for your favorite meatloaf recipe. But apparently I still know more than they do
                              When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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