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Bad, bad, really bad childrens books!

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  • Bad, bad, really bad childrens books!

    • You Are Different and That's Bad
    • The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables
    • Fun Four-Letter Words to Know and Share
    • Hammers, Screwdrivers, Scissors and Saws: An I-Can-Do-It Book
    • The Children's Guide to Hitchiking
    • Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
    • The Little Sissy Who Snitched
    • Some Puppies Can Fly!
    • That's It, I'm Putting You Up For Adoption!
    • The Pop-Up Kama Sutra
    • The Magical World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
    • Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
    • Strangers Have the Best Candy
    • Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way
    • Controlling the Playground: How to Gain Respect Through Fear
    • Things Rich Kids Have But You Never Will
    • Pop! Goes the Hamster, and Other Fun Microwave Games
    • Eggs, Toilet Paper, Shaving Cream and Your School
    • Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
    • Daddy Drinks Because You Cry (Somebody actually made this into a book! http://members.aol.com/petesmind/Kid...addydrinks.htm. There are also baby t-shirts available: http://www.tshirthell.com/babyhell.shtml)
    • The Attention Deficit Disorder Association's Book of Wild Animals of North Amer-
      Hey! Let's Go Ride Our Bikes!
    • The Hardy Boys, the Barbie Twins, and the Vice Squad
    • Babar Meets the Taxidermist
    • Oh, the Places You'll Scratch and Sniff!
    • The Berenstain Bears Maul Some Campers and are Shot Dead
    • What is That Dog Doing to That Other Dog?
    • Dick, Jane and Spot Visit The 'Hood
    • Daddy Loses His Job and Finds the Bottle
    Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

    "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

  • #2
    Don't forget the following classics:

    -Let's Draw Betty and Veronica With Their Clothes Off
    -Drinking From Unmarked Bottles: A Taster's Guide
    -Where to Kick Daddy
    -So You Hate Your Baby-sitter: A Begginer's Guide to Knot-Tying
    -Candy is Better for You Than Vegetables
    I pray for the strength to change what I can, the inability to change what I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference -Calvin, Calvin & Hobbes

    Being a pessimist and cynical wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't right so often!

    Comment


    • #3
      Or

      * Bugs Bunny gets myxamtosis (sp?) and gets put down.

      * How To Frame Your Siblings - A User's Guide

      * Clifford The Big Red Dog Savages A Child And Is Shot

      * Curious George And The High Voltage Fence

      * Mummy Hates You Cuz You Ruined Her Life
      People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life.
      My DeviantArt.

      Comment


      • #4
        Okay, I'm busting a gut here. I cut and paste parts of my orginal post into Gizoogle, to have it translated into...um...Jive, and here's some of the better results:
        • Hamma, Screwdriva, Scissors n Saws n' shit: An I-Can-Do-It Book
        • Hustla Have tha Best Candy
        • Pop! Goes tha Killa n Cracka Fun Microwave Games
        • Places Where Mommy n D-A-Double-Dizzy Hizzy Nizzle Things
        • D-A-Double-Dizzy Drinks Coz You Cry
        • The Berenstain Bears Mizzy Some Campa n is S-H-to-tha-izzot Dead
        • Perpetratin' Rizzle Kids Hizzle But You Bitch Will
        Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

        "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

        Comment


        • #5
          That's Not Your Penis, It's A Misplaced Pinocchio Device(now for Irish Catholics!)

          Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Just Get Along? (AN interactive novel)

          The Human Anatomy Pop-Up Book

          Harry Potter and the Crack Dealers in Miami

          Mommy, What's a Douche?

          Comment


          • #6
            Curse you all! My mascara is ruined!
            -"One ring to rule them all!"-Elias
            -Ask yourself, "WWRKHTSCCJ:TMD?"

            Comment


            • #7
              Here's some I thought of:

              How to tell if you like boys or girls, a do-it-yourself guide.

              Jay and Silent Bob's Dating Guide

              The Clerks Customer Service Manual

              Tommy Has Two Mommies

              and the sequel to the classic dr. seuss book:

              Are You My Daddy? Brought to you by the DCF.
              Last edited by DarthRetard; 01-22-2007, 04:39 AM. Reason: forgot one.

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