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The fun of nitpicking disaster movies

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  • #16
    Quoth Pixelated View Post
    I'm sitting here watching a 1979 movie called "Plague", which involves a research lab that appears to be run by a babbling, bumbling band of baboons, when you look at their security and safety measures, including what the staff is wearing while INSIDE the lab.

    And of course there is the oft-repeated phrase: "This place is locked down tight! NOTHING can get out!!"

    Then there's the husband who calls home to tell his wife "I can't tell you what's happening; just listen to me and do exactly as I say."

    Wife: "What's wrong??"

    Husband: "NOTHING'S wrong! Just listen and do exactly as I say!!"

    He then tells her to pack the kids and get out of the city. In fact, get out of the country. In fact, get the f*** out of the Western hemisphere entirely. Go to England.

    But nothing's wrong.
    I hate to say this but that is almost the exact same opening for Steven Kings The Stand both the book and the movie. Then they draw the guy "escaping with his family" out for like 30 minutes to get the plague spread started.
    I'm lost without a paddle and headed up SH*T creek.
    -- Life Sucks Then You Die.


    "I'll believe corp. are people when Texas executes one."

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    • #17
      I have one film to lay in front of you that I believe trumps every other disaster film when it comes to science idiocy: "2012". That is all. (we seriously need a mike-drop smiley)
      "It is traditional when asking for help or advice to listen to the answers you receive" - RealUnimportant

      Rev that Engine Louder, I Can't Hear How Small Your Dick Is - Jay 2K Winger

      The Darwin Awards The best site to visit to restore your faith in instant karma.

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      • #18
        Quoth greek_jester View Post
        I have one film to lay in front of you that I believe trumps every other disaster film when it comes to science idiocy: "2012". That is all. (we seriously need a mike-drop smiley)
        I dunno...I'd throw the movie "Armageddon" out there...

        Think about it: Ragtag oil drillers are recruited to fly to an asteroid "the size of Texas", drill a hole 800 feet deep through "iron", plant a nuclear bomb, detonate it, and split the asteroid in half so that it misses Earth.

        Not only that, but the surviving crew was able to fly a shuttle off of the asteroid (and successfully land it) with no external fuel supply.
        Skilled programmers aren't cheap. Cheap programmers aren't skilled.

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        • #19
          Then there is the disaster movies where I root for the disaster.
          Dante's Peak - I was mad they lived.
          AkaiKitsune
          Sarcasm dear, sarcasm. I’m well aware that dealing with civilians in any capacity will skin your faith in humanity alive, then pickle anything that remains so as to watch it shrivel up into an immortal husk thus reminding you of how dead inside you now are.

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          • #20
            Quoth Rosco the Iroc View Post
            Then there is the disaster movies where I root for the disaster.
            Dante's Peak - I was mad they lived.
            I did that with the movie Volcano. I rooted for the volcano. I also rooted for the dinosaurs in the Jurassic Park movies.
            "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

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            • #21
              Quoth mjr View Post
              I'd throw the movie "Armageddon" out there...
              NASA has found 168 scientific inaccuracies in that movie.
              This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

              I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

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              • #22
                Quoth catcul View Post
                NASA has found 168 scientific inaccuracies in that movie.
                That wouldn't surprise me.
                Skilled programmers aren't cheap. Cheap programmers aren't skilled.

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                • #23
                  Quoth catcul View Post
                  NASA has found 168 scientific inaccuracies in that movie.
                  And that was with the audit level set to "Generic Junior High School"!

                  (My #2 dauggher teaches 7th grade science)
                  I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
                  Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
                  Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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                  • #24
                    I was about to say "ONLY 168 inaccuracies?"

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                    • #25
                      Quoth Kazim View Post
                      I was about to say "ONLY 168 inaccuracies?"
                      Maybe they fell asleep after five minutes.
                      This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

                      I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

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                      • #26
                        Yes, I remember Volcano. I wish I didn't. I liked the Asian doctor who was determined to save her patients, despite her husband's intrusion. I'm glad she lived. I pretty much hated everyone else.
                        Customers should always be served . . . to the nearest great white.

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                        • #27
                          Quoth El Pollo Guerrera View Post
                          One of my favorites of WTF-ery is a 1973 movie called "Horror Express" with Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee. It's an OK little film with a Hammer Film-like atmosphere, but the explanation of what's is happening is 100% incredible BS.

                          I'd spoil it but it's so unbelievable I'd recommend people seeking it out...
                          I will check into it, thanks!

                          I don't get all snooty about lousy movies ... I've spent numerous evenings recently watching some really hilarious stuff on YouTube ... horror movies (some amateur, some not) in which you can truly see the hand of Darwin in the scattering of newly-deceased persons around the landscape at the end of the movie. I often see comments about "Why TF did [character] do something so STUPID?!?" Well, of course, in 99% of these movies, if nobody did anything "stupid", there'd be no movie.

                          Quoth Ironclad Alibi View Post
                          Guns in movies don't run out of bullets until the script calls for it.
                          This comment brought to mind something else ... who here has watched the original trilogy of Star Wars? And who here remembers the Empire's clone troops ... who couldn't hit the broad side of a barn ... even if the barn wasn't moving? And yet these were supposed to be the Empire's crack team of ... something or other.

                          Quoth Racket_Man View Post
                          I hate to say this but that is almost the exact same opening for Steven Kings The Stand both the book and the movie. Then they draw the guy "escaping with his family" out for like 30 minutes to get the plague spread started.
                          Now you mention it, I've watched that opening scene (with the "Don't Fear the Reaper" song cut out because ... copyright stuff ...) and I totally agree about the endless racing madly up and down roads in an attempt to get the plot off the ground. But so much of King's stuff has been butchered that I've quit watching anything "based" on his writings.

                          Regarding my original post, I watched a show titled "Supervolcano Yellowstone" (guess what it's about ... g'wan, guess ) and the main character does the same thing with his (pregnant) wife: "You should take [son] and go visit your mum in England. Now. Like, NOW." Wife: "What's wrong?" MC: "Nothing. You just need to go to England. NOW." And so on for another two or three minutes.

                          Now I want to go watch "Volcano" (as mentioned by Ironclad Alibi) and "Armageddon" (thanks, mjr!)

                          Meanwhile, dammit, my sis asked for everybody's Christmas lists and I forgot to add such awesome things as "The Twilight Zone" and "The Outer Limits" boxed sets ... oh well. Next year.

                          And I've just found WatchMojuo.com's "Top 10 Dumbest Decisions in Horror Movies" ...
                          Last edited by Pixelated; 10-14-2018, 02:08 AM.
                          Customer service: More efficient than a Dementor's kiss
                          ~ Mr Hero

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                          • #28
                            Quoth Pixelated View Post
                            This comment brought to mind something else ... who here has watched the original trilogy of Star Wars? And who here remembers the Empire's clone troops ... who couldn't hit the broad side of a barn ... even if the barn wasn't moving? And yet these were supposed to be the Empire's crack team of ... something or other.
                            You mean those same troopers who, in the opening scenes of the first movie (A New Hope), hit everything they shot at when boarding the blockade runner?
                            "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

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                            • #29
                              There's an old site titled "Insultingly Stupid Movie Physics" which picks at various points. The Imperial Stormtroopers spawned their own trope: "The Imperial School of Marksmanship", which got included as an optional rule in at least one RPG (GURPS).

                              My favorite was the virus disk in S1m0ne; that wasn't an obvious mistake so much as a note from the director: "F you, this movie isn't actually about computers".

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                              • #30
                                Quoth Ironclad Alibi View Post
                                You mean those same troopers who, in the opening scenes of the first movie (A New Hope), hit everything they shot at when boarding the blockade runner?
                                Bah, they weren't "aiming" at anything ... just firing madly down the hallways. It was just the bad luck of all those red-shirts (even though none of 'em were wearing red) that they walked into some of those blasts ...

                                Also there were R2D2 and C3PO ... during that scene in which they are scuttling across a corridor and scuttle right through the crossfire between the empire guys and the rebels ... but of course, they were the good guys.
                                Customer service: More efficient than a Dementor's kiss
                                ~ Mr Hero

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