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  • Seasonal poem

    Spotted this one on the net, relating to events that will happen in the U.S. this week.

    When I Was a Young Turkey

    When I was a young turkey,
    new to the coop,
    My big brother Tom
    took me out on the stoop,
    Then he sat me down,
    and he spoke real slow,
    And he told me there was
    something that I just had to know.
    His look and his tone
    I will always remember,
    When he told me of the horrors
    of, well...... Black November!
    Come about August,
    now listen to me,
    Each day you'll get six meals
    instead of your three. And soon you'll be thick,
    where once you were thin,
    and you'll grow a big rubbery
    thing under your chin;
    And then one morning,
    when you're warm in your bed,
    In comes the farmer's wife,
    to hack off your head; Then she'll pluck out all your
    feathers until you're bald 'n pink,
    And scoop out your insides
    and leave you in the sink;
    And then comes the worst part
    he said not bluffing,
    She'll spread your cheeks and
    pack your rear with the stuffing! Well, the rest of his words
    were too grim to repeat,
    I sat on the stoop like a
    winged piece of meat,
    And decided on the spot
    that to avoid being cooked,
    I'd have to lay low to
    remain overlooked. I began a new diet of
    nuts and granola,
    High-roughage salads,
    juice and diet cola;
    And as they ate pastries,
    chocolates and crepes,
    I stayed in my room
    doing Jane Fonda tapes. I maintained my weight
    of two pounds and a half,
    And tried not to notice when
    the bigger birds laughed; But it was I who was
    laughing, under my breath,
    As they chomped and they
    chewed, ever closer to death.
    And sure enough when
    Black November rolled around,
    I was the last turkey left in
    the Turkey compound; So now I'm a pet in the
    farmer's wife's lap;
    I haven't a worry,
    so I eat and I nap.
    She held me today,
    while sewing and humming,
    And smiled at me and said
    "Christmas is coming"
    Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.
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