If one leaves the office on the verge of tears...

[Seshat]

DO go to your boss and lay out all your tasks and the time needed for each. Include the cold-calling hours in there and simply ask him "I have eight hours a day to devote to my job, what tasks have the highest priority?"

Part of management's job is to do exactly this prioritising. Walk in in the morning with a paper list of what you feel are the important-to-him tasks of the day, and get him to write a numerical priority against them and initial it. Stand over him till he does.

WHEN he comes to you in the middle of the day with changes, write the change on the list and have him write down the priority number.

It's a cheap trick, but it can work. Or it can completely piss a boss off. You may need to use a different style of this for your boss - but *something* of this order is clearly needed.

Some way of visually demonstrating to your boss that you can and will do your job - but you only have two hands, and you will do only as much as you can and should do.

[NiennasMaid]

First of all, Dips totally nailed it about the job.

Second, as someone who was diagnosed with chronic suicidal depression and battled it desperately for 10 years, do NOT let yourself go without help. Do you have a friend you can talk to when things get bad? Call them. Don't hesitate. Do you have a professional therapist you see on a regular basis? If not, please get one. You need help. That doesn't make you an "emotional weakling" and calling yourself such would just be counter-productive. A professional can help you let go of these things and keep you coping while you still have to be at this job.

Well...I do see a counselor, but to be honest, she's not much help. We're only a few years apart in age, and her main way of trying to boost my spirits is to tell me how good of a writer I am, or how much she likes my drawings. I know she means well, but it comes across being quite fake, and doesn't really help at all. I have a REALLY difficult time opening up to people: it's that darned Midwestern self-sufficiency and being raised to not bother other people. Well, plus my own natural reticence: I don't want to be a bother to anyone else. I have told a few friends what's going on, but there's not really much they can do at this point.

I wish I could try some of the things people have suggested: making the boss sign off on all changes, make fewer calls, etc, but none of them are really a possibility. I've already had warnings about not showing anger or frustration, about being "flexible," etc. There's no way that any of those stunts wouldn't just make things worse.

[Exaspera]

Well...I do see a counselor, but to be honest, she's not much help. We're only a few years apart in age, and her main way of trying to boost my spirits is to tell me how good of a writer I am, or how much she likes my drawings. I know she means well, but it comes across being quite fake, and doesn't really help at all.

Then she's not doing you any good. You need to get another, as you have practically admitted.

It's so hard to assert oneself. But if you don't you'll just get walked on, sweetie.

[Cookie]

Please get a new counselor. I once joked that trying to find a good one is enough to put you in therapy. Once you do find a good one, though, they are so worth it. A good place to start is if you have a trusted friend who could maybe give you a referral.

[sevendaysky]

Okay, all the advice people have given you here is good.

First: find a new counselor. The one you have is not sufficient, by your own admission. You do not owe it to the old one to explain, beyond perhaps a "this isn't working well for me." If you don't know who to call, try your medical provider if you have one - ask them if they have a list of local counselors that are "in network" that you can try. If there doesn't seem to be anyone, start the process of asking for a referral to someone not in network so you can be covered.

Second: All the things people said above about work - go in with a prioritized list and ask them to go over it with you and decide what exactly they want you to do during a shift -- THIS. VERY THIS. Here's the thing. They might not like it, but it serves as a foundation for the case you are building. It's a reasonable request, and if they deny it you can go back and say "I tried to do everything I could but they wouldn't work with me."

Keep pushing until you get what you need to stay sane. If they keep hassling you, changing things, refusing to listen to you - I would imagine they are trying to get you to quit rather than fire you. Just stick to your guns and do what YOU need to do for your own mental health. If it means no cold calling, fine. See if you can get your counselor - the current one or the new one - to write something saying that your job is definitely impacting your mental health. A reccomendation for action (i.e. no cold calling, prioritized list signed, etc) in your file will be heavily in your favor.

If they fire you, go for unemployment and say you were harrassed and hassled into it because of their unfair work practices. Then whip out all the proof you have -- memos talking about how you must do this or that, any write-ups you get for behavior... you get the idea.