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The joys of parenthood-Teenage boy edition

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  • #16
    Quoth mathnerd View Post
    It's internet porn these days, and we had that discussion a couple years ago, after I realized that my oldest had gotten through the password protections on my laptop and I went through the browser history.
    nope mine was digital too just i was in my extra anime-tastic phrase i dont think they though animated girls kissing naked to be porn

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    • #17
      Quoth Sliceanddice View Post
      nope mine was digital too just i was in my extra anime-tastic phrase i dont think they though animated girls kissing naked to be porn
      I was lucky...my parents never busted me for viewing porn.
      The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

      Now queen of USSR-Land...

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      • #18
        Quoth mathnerd View Post
        Oh, man. There's no way I could handle another kid. I have my hands full with the three I have! I did have my tubes tied, but as I found out the hard way not to terribly long ago, the failure rate of tubal ligations skyrockets after 10 years.

        But yeah, it could have been much worse.
        Back in 1997 I had one of those 'you have got to be fucking me' conversations with the lab tech detailed to call me and let me know my bunny test was positive and I needed to make an appointment with the base OB ... I had a tubal back in 1984.

        The proteus mirabilis infestation I ended up with in my lower abdominal cavity post-op 2 years previously had caused the old style bend and band style tubal to pop the scar plug on one side, and Rob finally stopped being deployed constantly [in a sea tour on a fast attack sub at the time he was out to sea for 1 6 month cruise, 1 4 month cruise, a month OPTAR and at least 14 days every month they were not on a longer cruise. So for 36 months Rob effectively was never home - or at last he managed to skip all the fertile periods I ovulated on the left side ...]

        There was a serious health reason for a tubal at the age of 23 ... 2 previous pregnancies both ended with me in intensive care for kidney failure, preeclampsia and some other assorted nasty issues [gestational diabetes being the most minor.] I had been informed that a third try at popping out a sprog would effectively be a death sentence for me. A tubal later and I figured I was good to go. Oops. They redid it, and removed tube and cauterized this time. At least they could combine the D&C and the new tubal. This time it lasted until my hysterectomy a couple years back
        EVE Online: 99% of the time you sit around waiting for something to happen, but that 1% of action is what hooks people like crack, you don't get interviewed by the BBC for a WoW raid.

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        • #19
          Quoth fireheart View Post
          Speaking of the free clinic, may I also suggest taking him there if they hold safe sex sessions if you haven't had the "talk" already? (or his school hasn't)
          Even if you/they have covered it, I'd consider letting the clinic have a go too. Now that he's active, it may matter more to him.
          Seshat's self-help guide:
          1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
          2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
          3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
          4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

          "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

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          • #20
            Quoth AccountingDrone View Post
            Back in 1997 I had one of those 'you have got to be fucking me' conversations with the lab tech detailed to call me and let me know my bunny test was positive and I needed to make an appointment with the base OB ... I had a tubal back in 1984.
            I had really complicated pregnancies, with preterm labor, pre-eclampsia, and various placenta problems, along with some other, more minor stuff. My third child was born at 24 weeks and we both nearly died. They did the tubal before they stitched me back up from delivering the child. It was the cut and cauterize version. Even that seems to have an increased failure rate after ten years.

            I found this out the hard way. It dawned on me that I was late, thought "no way!", but took a home test anyway. I called my OB/GYN and he freaked out and said get in here now! They did an ultrasound and it proved to be ectopic. There's a non-surgical way of dealing with ectopic pregnancies if they're caught early enough, which involves a couple injections. The after effects were extremely painful, and they put me on morphine.

            All this happened really fast. I hadn't had time to call anybody, really. So, when I got home, I debated telling the man who donated the genetic material for this to happen, who, to be quite honest, while a good friend, was only a FWB. Since there's no "choice" here about what to do, I debated for a while about even telling him. I wound up sending him a convoluted text message asking him if he had a friend who was going through an amount of misery and he played a part in creating that misery, but there was no "blame" here, and nothing to be done but wait it out, would he want to know. He replied something to the effect of "this hardly seems hypothetical", but he'd need more details to answer fully, but he was at dinner with friends and he'd text later. I told him to call me when he could. So, a few hours later, he called and, in my morphine haze, delivered the news. Apparently I'm quite funny when I'm on morphine, as once he got over the shock of what I'd just told him, he told me that any time I had to deliver bad news, I should do it on a morphine high.

            Back to condoms, I really don't mind keeping them on hand. Hell, I keep them for myself, obviously. We've had multiple talks about the subject. But, the fact remains that sneaking around is not okay. In the end though, if this had to be the case, I'd much rather be dealing with a missing condom supply than being a 38 year old grandmother. I did point him in the direction of the various health clinics though. If he's going to be engaging in sex, he'd better man up a little more than he has. Not that I think he's old enough to be doing so, but I'm also enough of a realist to realize that he's now of an age where these things will happen.
            Last edited by mathnerd; 06-21-2014, 06:25 PM. Reason: fix quote
            At the conclusion of an Irish wedding, the priest said "Everybody please hug the person who has made your life worth living. The bartender was nearly crushed to death.

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            • #21
              As a quick aside, is there anywhere that gives out free birth control? All the sexual health clinics here give out free condoms - if he can't afford any then that might be a way to prevent even more expense.
              A PSA, if I may, as well as another.

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              • #22
                Crazylegs, yes, there's some clinics close enough to the trolley line where he can get his own for free. I've recently started buying the non-latex ones for reasons that would be TMI to state, and they're a bit pricier than the latex ones, so really, I'd prefer he buy/acquire his own. But if he really needs them, tell me dammit! I'll buy the latex ones for him. Not that I want to, but I'd rather do that than deal with the alternatives.
                At the conclusion of an Irish wedding, the priest said "Everybody please hug the person who has made your life worth living. The bartender was nearly crushed to death.

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                • #23
                  Honestly, my wife and I keep a supply of condoms on-hand.

                  However, I am seriously considering getting "the snip". I'll be 38 this year, and we're done having children, so it's just a matter of confirming that she's OK with it, and scheduling a time...
                  Skilled programmers aren't cheap. Cheap programmers aren't skilled.

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                  • #24
                    Please tell me this is your oldest, and not your middle child. (I know it's not your youngest.)

                    Quoth AccountingDrone View Post
                    Back in 1997 I had one of those 'you have got to be fucking me' conversations with the lab tech...
                    Either you meant 'you have got to be fucking WITH me,' or you were having more fun with the lab tech than most people do at the clinic.....

                    Quoth mathnerd View Post
                    In the end though, if this had to be the case, I'd much rather be dealing with a missing condom supply than being a 38 year old grandmother.
                    My best friend Neets had her oldest, Bug, when Neets was 19. Bug, in turn, had her child, the amazing Z-Man, when Bug was 19. So one day, a couple years ago, when I was back home in AZ visiting and Bug was still pregnant with Z-Man, I was walking along through a parking lot with Neets and I turned to her said, "You DO realize that you're gonna be a grandma before you're 40, and here I am in my 40s and I'm still not a father, right?"

                    If you're thinking I had to run, you are absolutely correct.

                    Quoth mathnerd View Post
                    Crazylegs, yes, there's some clinics close enough to the trolley line where he can get his own for free.
                    I don't know about getting them free, but don't you have to be 18 to buy them?

                    By the way, when you sent me that text, with no context, I was completely thrown as to what the hell you were talking about. I had no idea your son was stealing your condoms, just that you were out of them. However, the text on its own was so hilarious that I read it to the people sitting by me in a bar. We all laughed. We were all confused as hell, but we all laughed.

                    "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                    Still A Customer."

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                    • #25
                      Apparently the second part of that text didn't go through. I sent the first part, which you apparently got, then realized there was no context and sent another one with a bit more detail. And yes, we are speaking of my eldest here. I would not be so calm if it were one of the 12 year olds. The middle offspring won't be 13 for a few days yet.
                      At the conclusion of an Irish wedding, the priest said "Everybody please hug the person who has made your life worth living. The bartender was nearly crushed to death.

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                      • #26
                        Just so everyone else can be amused, here is the text I got from mathnerd Friday night, with absolutely no context or follow up:

                        "Found my condom supply completely deleted. I'm so not ready for this."

                        No mention of them being stolen or of her sons. I just assumed she was having a much better time lately socially than myself. Or....something.

                        "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                        Still A Customer."

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                        • #27
                          In my defense I'm a sleep deprived single mother of three! I did try to rectify the no context thing. It's not my fault phones are stupid sometimes.

                          As for having a better time socially, well, I'll be nice. There were reasons I went to the drawer where I keep them.
                          At the conclusion of an Irish wedding, the priest said "Everybody please hug the person who has made your life worth living. The bartender was nearly crushed to death.

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                          • #28
                            Quoth mathnerd View Post
                            I've recently started buying the non-latex ...and they're a bit pricier than the latex ones, so really, I'd prefer he buy
                            Jumped in here to say something along these lines - if you borrow mum's you replace them with the same - not the gas station ones! So glad you're having this problem, math; the alternatives go downhill rather rapidly, as I'm sure you're aware.

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                            • #29
                              Jester, I responded late last night, and in my sleep deprived state, didn't respond to your whole post.

                              I'm unaware of any laws age-restricting the purchase of condoms. If that's the case, I'm more than happy to buy them myself, but he still needs to be mature enough to ask me to do so. As for the health clinics, when I called them, they said it's a "no questions asked" situation. They leave bowls of condoms in the lobby and anybody can come in and pick them up. They're only kept in view of the office staff so that they can make sure that they're not being tampered with.

                              sms, yeah, I had that chat with him as well. I can totally understand how these conversations can be uncomfortable, but if you're going to be sexually active, you need to be mature enough to have uncomfortable conversations. They're necessary. Sometimes the unexpected happens, and we're not all lucky enough to be able to be on a morphine high when we have to have those conversations. Even without unexpected events, there's still the "are we or aren't we" part of the scenario. Some things just have to be talked about.

                              The other issue here is that sex isn't free. If you want to play, you have to make sure you're protected. This involves spending money. If you're too broke to buy them, and unwilling to avail yourself of the free ones (the ones that DON'T come from mom's nightstand drawer), then you need to reconsider.

                              But yes, all things considered, this is the "least bad" of all the possible alternatives to this particular child-rearing issue.
                              At the conclusion of an Irish wedding, the priest said "Everybody please hug the person who has made your life worth living. The bartender was nearly crushed to death.

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Quoth Jester View Post
                                Either you meant 'you have got to be fucking WITH me,' or you were having more fun with the lab tech than most people do at the clinic.....
                                Navy [submariner] phrasing. <shrug> After 20 years I speak several subdialects of navy english ... and apparently know enough about various duty stations that online and not known as female can be mistaken for a submariner.

                                Although the time I ended up getting internals and pelvic exams preoperatively [I had a lump go from pea sized to ping pong ball sized in 30 days and needed a week of assorted preop exams, radiology, bloodwork and medical shindigs] after being pelvic'ed by almost a dozen assorted medical types told my oncological gyn that was the most action I had seen since Rob left on deployment ...
                                EVE Online: 99% of the time you sit around waiting for something to happen, but that 1% of action is what hooks people like crack, you don't get interviewed by the BBC for a WoW raid.

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