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The Unluckiest Little School Board in America

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  • The Unluckiest Little School Board in America

    This happened a while ago and I'm cobbling it together from memory. This is the jist.

    We got a call from a customer, a school system, who had an ancient license for our software. They had lost their disks and were hoping to get them replaced. We don't replace software which is eight years old, but since they were registered and had a license on record they did qualify for the newest version at the update price (which is less than half the price new customers pay for it).

    Since telling people they have to pay to replace something they lost usually doesn't go over well, we always quote the price for a new license first, THEN tell them the much lower update price. Even if they aren't totally happy, at least they understand.

    These guys seemed a bit glum about it, but didn't fuss much. They were told we'd keep the quote in our system for 30 days and that was that.

    The next week I got a call from the same school board. The caller wanted to know our policy on replacing stolen software. It turns out somebody broke into their offices and stole all the computers, including the ones which had our software on them. I went to the database and saw the note about lost disks and the quote and got a little suspicious. Nevertheless, I stayed polite and let them know that we'd sell them a new software license at the update price (because they were registered customers) and retire the stolen license so the thieves couldn't use it.

    Her response, "But it was stolen. We shouldn't have to pay anything."

    I let her know that we'd be more than happy to work with her insurance company if they planned to file a claim for the stolen software. If the insurance company refused to cover the software, it would be no problem. Just fax us a copy of the claim rejection.

    She stopped arguing and hung up and I made a note in the database.

    Quite a few weeks later, I overheard Mark on the phone with somebody explaining our policy regarding stolen software. It kind of rung a bell and I went over and looked over his shoulder to get the license number he had on his screen. Sure enough it was our friends. I slipped him a note, but he was already on top of it. He finished the conversation without laughing out loud and filled me in.

    It turns somebody broke in and stole their computers. Then the thieves removed our software from the computers, broke back in and returned the computers.

    For whatever reason, this meant they couldn't file an insurance claim.

    Mark had told them to just fax us a copy of the police report and proof that their insurance company wouldn't allow them to file a claim and we'd replace the software.

    He also made a note in the database.

    It was a couple of weeks before they called again and they made sure to talk to somebody who wasn't me or Mark. They used the name directory and wound up connected to our accountant.

    Of course, she doesn't handle these things. So she put them on hold and came to me, "Dips? It's [NameChanged] School Board. They say lost their software in a fire. Can you help them?"

    I took an unseemly amount of pleasure in picking up the line, telling them my name, and expressing my sympathies for the bad run of luck having two break ins and fire in a two month period.
    The best karma is letting a jerk bash himself senseless on the wall of your polite indifference.

    The stupid is strong with this one.

  • #2
    Quoth Dips View Post
    I took an unseemly amount of pleasure in picking up the line, telling them my name, and expressing my sympathies for the bad run of luck having two break ins and fire in a two month period.
    And remember, parents: it's your job to teach your children morals. Don't leave it to the schools.

    Please.

    Comment


    • #3
      I see we have another runner-up for the Cpl. Klinger award!

      For those unfamiliar, Klinger was a character from the TV show MASH whose sole purpose was to get discharged from the army. The list of excuses:

      "Father dying. Last month, mother dying. Month prior, mother and father dying. Here's an oldie but a goodie: mother and father dying, older sister pregnant. Another goodie: half of the family dying, other half pregnant."
      Happiness is the exercise of vital powers along lines of excellence in a life affording you scope.

      Comment


      • #4
        Quoth Gurndigarn View Post
        And remember, parents: it's your job to teach your children morals. Don't leave it to the schools.

        Please.

        Ah, but that would make parenting that much HARDER!!!!!!!!
        Unseen but seeing
        oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
        There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
        3rd shift needs love, too
        RIP, mo bhrionglóid

        Comment


        • #5
          Quoth Gurndigarn View Post
          And remember, parents: it's your job to teach your children morals. Don't leave it to the schools.
          Quoth BeckySunshine View Post
          Ah, but that would make parenting that much HARDER!!!!!!!!
          But maybe-- and I know this is a wild idea-- just maybe it might make you successful at it. And possibly even like being around the results of your parenting.

          Comment


          • #6
            True, very true. But nowadays, a lot (and I'm NOT saying all!!!!!!) of parents would rather be their child's FRIEND. Bleh to that.

            If/when I'm blessed with children, I'm going to be a good mommy.
            Unseen but seeing
            oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
            There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
            3rd shift needs love, too
            RIP, mo bhrionglóid

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth BeckySunshine View Post
              True, very true. But nowadays, a lot (and I'm NOT saying all!!!!!!) of parents would rather be their child's FRIEND. Bleh to that.
              You become their friend when they're grown up.

              Comment


              • #8
                Some parents just don't get that.
                Unseen but seeing
                oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
                There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
                3rd shift needs love, too
                RIP, mo bhrionglóid

                Comment

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