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A Spectacular Lack of Planning on His Part

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  • A Spectacular Lack of Planning on His Part

    I got this call from a guy today who wanted to to order some software. That's great. That's what we make and sell. So I pull up my form and get ready to take his order:

    SC: And I need the license right away because I have a project for a client due at 2:00 PM today.

    Me: That won't be possible. Do you still want me to take your order?

    SC: I talked to someone else and he said I needed a license for the [output] to be correct. So when can I have the license?

    Me: I can take your order and bring it downstairs. Eugene, who fills orders, is at lunch, so I can't ask him when it will be ready...

    SC: Lets just get it ordered...

    [cue the boring part where I get his information and fill out the form]

    Me: That's everything we need. Thank you for your order. Can I help you with anything else?

    SC: When will I get my license?

    Me: As I mentioned, the person who processes the orders is at lunch.

    SC: Can you ask him?

    Me: No. I'll bring it to his attention when he comes back from lunch.

    SC: How about an estimate?

    Me: I depends on how many orders came in ahead of yours, so I really don't have that information.

    SC: Can Eugene call me with an estimate?

    Me: I can write that request on the order form.

    SC: I guess.

    Me: OK. Thanks again and have a great afternoon. [click]

    So I went into talk to Mark to see if he was the "someone else" the guy talked to. He wasn't, but we both though the guy's rush was kind of strange and speculated that he took on a job without realizing he would need to buy the right tools to do the job. This happens a lot. People don't realize what is involved, call us to ask and we fill them in. Sometimes they call us after they've completed the project wrong and their customer rejected it. We guessed this guy was one of those. I feel bad when this happens, but it's not our fault he didn't plan better, you know?

    Fast forward to when Eugene came back from lunch, I asked him if he was "someone else" and he remembered talking to the guy before. Here's the relevant part of the reconstructed conversation as told to me by Eugene. This took place before the guy talked to me:

    SC: I need to make sure your product will work with my processes.

    Eugene: You can test that with the demo version.

    SC: I did that and it had errors in it.

    Eugene: Yes. The demo introduces errors, but that don't affect how it will work with your processes.

    SC: Can I just try the licensed version for a week?

    Eugene: As I said, you don't need the licensed version to test it. Did you see [output] when you tried the demo?

    SC: Yes, but it was wrong.

    Eugene: OK, then you know it will work. If you wish to purchase a license, the price is $600.

    SC: I'll have to get back to you later.

    Eugene: No problem. We are open until 5.

    So he's not just a really bad planner, he tried to trick us into giving him a free week so he could do his project without buying the tool. Unfortunately for him, he's far from the first person to try that trick with us. [Side note: The most amusing fellow was a guy who mailed me a list of items to run through the software and asked me to email back the output, so he could "check the accuracy." ]

    And, oh yeah. There are 14 orders ahead of his and, with the accounting system down for upgrades, Eugene won't be getting to his order until around Monday.

    After all, we have to take care of the people who have been waiting longest first.

    Eugene'll call the guy and mention this to give him a chance to cancel. He probably won't cancel because he needs the output from the software (or, more accurately, he needs the ten of thousands of dollars his client is paying him for completing his project), but I'm going to check back in a month and see if he decided to return the software for a refund (he can; we have a 90 day guarantee) or attempts a chargeback.
    Last edited by Dips; 10-02-2008, 09:11 PM.
    The best karma is letting a jerk bash himself senseless on the wall of your polite indifference.

    The stupid is strong with this one.

  • #2
    Dips, your stories always fascinate me. Every one I read makes me more and more curious as to what your software product is. I almost want to ask if you have any job openings there so I can experience these stores firsthand... almost.

    I'm glad this customer didn't get any extra favors or special treatment. As soon as he asked you to get your co-worker to do work while he was on his lunch break, he lost that right, as far as I'm concerned.
    I suspect that... inside every adult (sometimes not very far inside) is a bratty kid who wants everything his own way.
    - Bill Watterson

    My co-workers: They're there when they need me.
    - IPF

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