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Stuff you've learned the hard way

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  • #31
    Quoth dalesys View Post
    You forgot ® and lost all protection.
    Damn.

    Sucks to be me.
    Unseen but seeing
    oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
    There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
    3rd shift needs love, too
    RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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    • #32
      Quoth Racket_Man View Post
      Motivation by pizza does not work
      Nope, it doesn't...which is why I'm not going in on my day off this Thursday, wearing St. Patrick's Day green (on the Ides of March ), just to get a slice of free pizza.
      "I was only LOOKING, I didn't mean to enter my card's CVV and actually ORDER! REFUND ME RIGHT NOW!!"

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      • #33
        Customers suck!

        Someone had to say it.
        Sometimes life is altered.
        Break from the ropes your hands are tied.
        Uneasy with confrontation.
        Won't turn out right. Can't turn out right

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        • #34
          Quoth RecoveringKinkoid View Post
          That you can't tell someone the girl they're dating is a stalking psychopath rabbit-in-the-kettle sort of girl if the girl gives good head. This rule can be applied to many situations.
          You just described half the women I've dated.
          If anyone breaks the three pint rule, they'll be running all night to the pisser and back.

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          • #35
            Quoth RealUnimportant View Post
            Never demonstrate outside knowledge of anything that is worth being paid for - car repair, IT skills, whatever; if someone knows you know how to do it, they'll ask you for help in any related field no matter how tangental, as well as many other fields which (normal people would realise) aren't related at all, and expect it for free because it's not part of your job description... This will happen with friends, family, co-workers, bosses, and customers.
            That's why you charge $20 USD cash an hour (at least where I live)
            If anyone breaks the three pint rule, they'll be running all night to the pisser and back.

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            • #36
              if you have to sign an agreement that has 15 or so numbered items, two of which were:

              #6 There's no excuse for an accident

              #10 I will not expose a body part to moving equipment

              RUN
              there's some people with issues that medication, therapy or a baseball bat just can't cure

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              • #37
                Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
                LP would much rather park their butts in the LP office and snoop on employees, than pay attention to the thieves stealing thousands of dollars in jewelry in one go.
                Well of course! Shrink can't possibly be happening because of the precious Almighty Customers, therefore it must be those good-for-nothing employees!

                And of course, those who whine the loudest about shrink are the least willing to invest in cameras or other security.
                I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
                My LiveJournal
                A page we can all agree with!

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                • #38
                  Quoth XCashier View Post
                  Well of course! Shrink can't possibly be happening because of the precious Almighty Customers, therefore it must be those good-for-nothing employees!

                  And of course, those who whine the loudest about shrink are the least willing to invest in cameras or other security.
                  Do we work for the same company? We have that same problem.

                  Speaking of which, another thing I've learned is that anytime a company implements a new idea or process, it's never completely thought out before they roll it out to the stores.

                  Case in point: if you're going to invest in plexiglass shrink boxes for HBC products then how about making sure you send the decoder key with them instead of me raising Hell via email for almost 2 weeks to get one!
                  Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

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                  • #39
                    Quoth drunkenwildmage View Post
                    Never Date a co-worker
                    What about occasional guilt free boinkings after you've had a bad day?

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                    • #40
                      - If corporate comes up with a new policy, you'll get into less trouble following it to the letter and looking stupid while doing it instead of throwing a fit about how illogical/backwards/inefficient it is.

                      - What? You expect the company to buy you modern equipment? Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

                      - On a similar note: The printer never works properly...EVER.

                      - Some supervisors will always assume it's your fault and blame you for it, no matter what it was and whether or not you actually had anything to do with it.

                      - Personal integrity and honesty will never get you as far up the corporate ladder as lying, cheating and scheming will.

                      - Despite the fact you understand full well how the business works at the customer level, corporate never has and never will give a shit what you think.

                      - Every workplace WILL have someone who tries to take advantage of you. Don't fall into the trap.
                      "If we refund your money, give you a free replacement and shoot the manager, then will you be happy?" - sign seen in a restaurant

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                      • #41
                        Quoth Redbeard View Post
                        What about occasional guilt free boinkings after you've had a bad day?
                        They still come back to haunt you... I had the promise of a boink once, and even though we ended up just chatting instead she was weird with me forever afterwards; ruined a perfectly good working relationship.
                        This was one of those times where my mouth says "have a nice day" but my brain says "go step on a Lego". - RegisterAce
                        I can't make something magically appear to fulfill all your hopes and dreams. Believe me, if I could I'd be the first person I'd help. - Trixie

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                        • #42
                          Large objects being slid down flights of stairs, and nipple rings do not mix.

                          (Not me. A co-worker. It's a hilarious story that nearly ended with a female co-worker flashing another female co-worker on camera.)
                          Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                          "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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                          • #43
                            There will always be that one supervisor who will never be pleased, no matter what you do, and will never have any praise regarding you. You just have to remind yourself you are not a bad enployee, and there are other supervisors who do appreciate you.
                            "Is it hot in here to you? It's very warm, isn't it?"--Nero, probably

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                            • #44
                              1. NO ONE is indispensable.
                              2. Management will frown on a 10 cent raise above whats approved to an stablished, compenent and knowledgable current employee, but would gladly pay a couple of dollars more above that limit to an outsider that knows nothing.
                              3. If the goals are 100 widgets and you give 100% along with sweat and tears to consistently meet your goal, your goal WILL BE increased to 150 widgets.
                              4. The Company will demand loyalty and complete devotion, but will kick you to the curb in a New York minute.
                              5. Its not who you know, its what they're willing to do for you.
                              6. 99% of the time Management already knows who is getting the promotion before posting or interviewing for the position.
                              7. confidential company phone hotlines, ARE NOT confidential.
                              8. Work smarter not harder means that you're expected to do all the preparation work and post paperwork on your own time at home.
                              9. Corporate will preach to you about customer service and customer satisfaction with such intensity that you could almost believe they really do care, until several calls make it to them and then they make it extremely clear they detest dealing directly with customers
                              10. Corporate metrics are stablished by people who never have worked the front line and who assume customers are idiots that buy whatever we tell them buy.
                              “The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser men so full of doubts.”
                              ― Bertrand Russell

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                              • #45
                                - Never judge a client by their appearance, especially in a veterinary surgery.

                                - Never trust a client that says their animal is sweet and wouldn't hurt a fly.

                                - Never leave the consult room door open, the surgery cat knows how to open the huge treat jar and will empty it overnight.

                                - People will try and offload their old insulin and used needles because they think that the surgery will pay for them.
                                Don't tempt pixies, it never ends well.

                                Avatar created by the lovely Eisa.

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