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  • Parrot jokes!

    There was a macigian who worked on a cruise ship. Since he had a different audience each week, his act never changed. The captain's parrot noticed that and started mouthing off during the show. Stuff like "he switched hats" or "the flowers are under the table" or "why are all the cards the ace of spades?"

    One day the ship sank and left only two survivors - the magician and the parrot. The magician started swimming towards the nearest land, with the parrot flying above. After a couple of hours the parrot landed on the magician's hat and said "I give up, what have you done with the ship?"

    ---

    Bob bought a second-hand parrot. The parrot swore all the time. Bob tried everything to stop the parrot swearing - playing soft music, covering the cage, making it watch daytime television, but nothing worked. One day he got fed up and threw the parrot in the freezer.

    Five minutes later he let the parrot out. "I'm sorry about my manners, I'll never swear again" said the parrot "May I ask what the chicken did?"

  • #2
    You know, most people have a bug or mouse problem in the kitchen...



    I have a bird problem.
    Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?

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    • #3
      Awww! That is the cutest cockatiel! (Don't tell my mom's cockatiels that I said that.)
      "But I don't want to be among mad people."
      You can't help that. We're all mad here. Every fucking one of us.

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      • #4
        Hee. Thanks. Mimi's a doll. he found a gap in the couch once and I spent about half an hour convincing him to come out, and all you could hear was muffled whistles and chirps coming from it!

        Thus far, to keep him out of places he shouldnt be, I've:

        PUt child safeties in the kitchen cupboards.
        Blocked off the little area behind the Fridge.
        Stuffed an empty bottle into the little gap between the Stove and the cupboards
        Stuffed the gap in the couch full of towels.

        Have had to ermember to close my dresser drawers.

        I wouldn't know what I would do without him though.
        Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?

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