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February Didn't Waste any Time...

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  • February Didn't Waste any Time...

    Barely a week in and the kooks have already made their presence known.

    Another One Whites and Busts.......... Yeah!.......... Another One Whites and Busts!

    Thanks to some very judicious use of white-out, instead of slathering it on like wall spackle, and some very meticulous penmanship, and parking in a darkened corner of the garage, you almost, ALMOST got that fake permit past me.

    Yeah, too bad "almost" only counts with horseshoes and hand grenades

    See, those temps are printed on some rather thin material, and, when the office lady puts her sharpie on them for the first time to write out the dates, there's some bleed-through.

    So no matter how good a retouch you did on the front side, it didn't matter.

    The back side, that faces the rear of the car, the very end I see first, had "2013" clearly bleeding through to the other side. It's only when I walked around front to confirm it that I saw you'd turned that 2013 into "2014" with your aforementioned skill, that wasn't all that bad really, but just not good enough.

    Sadly, I think the only thing that will ever stop these folks from trying to fudge dates like this is when white out itself goes obsolete and they stop making it, whenever THAT is. Strange that stuff has outlasted the typewriter by almost 35 years at this point. So much for my 2nd grade teacher's bold prediction that by the time I grew up, we'd have a paperless society.....

    Though she was telling the truth when she predicted one day we'd have access to over 400 TV channels....... too bad she never warned us how bad they'd have to dilute what was considered "entertainment" to get enough programming to FILL 400 channels.....

    The horror............. THE HORROR!




    Stupid Tickets are Tickets for Bein' Stupid


    You escaped a tow by 3'' on Friday.

    That's how close the truck's Claws Of Justice (tm) got to your tires before you came running out and told us you'd move it.

    We informed you at that point that you might want to do something about those 4 unpaid parking tickets you had, because that's why you were going to get towed.

    The owner of that lot seemed to have finally noticed not only that you couldn't make the causal link between not feeding the parking meters and getting tickets, you also could not make the causal link between being ticketed and PAYING said tickets, as according to our records, you owed $90 in past-due tickets. (Original price on them was $45, but due to failure to pony up, they've tacked on late fees. Don't worry, these are the legitimate and easy to take kind of late fees, extra $ charges, not the hard to take illegitimate kind of late feels, like busted kneecaps.)

    That's why we warned you to do something, because otherwise, with that giant lump of unpaid tickets hovering over you, your car stays on our shoot-on-sight list and we can tow it at anytime and anywhere we find it with no wait whatsoever.

    But you didn't seem to be listening, in fact, you seemed to have your head buried in a cellphone as you drove off, grousing to a friend about the "stupid tickets" you keep getting.

    So here we are, Monday, and this time we were a half-step faster than you when you came running, must've been that extra snowfall we got.

    Now we've got your car lifted and now it's going to cost you $65 for a drop and $105 in tickets, because in addition to Friday's unpaid balance of $90 you got a freshly-minted $15 violation for parking in the EXACT SAME SPACE in the EXACT SAME LOT you did last week when we warned you what would happen and you still DID NOT PAY the meter nor did you pay any of those outstanding tickets.

    Them tickets may be "stupid", but I'm pretty sure even THEY are smart enough to not do what you just did........

    Just... do me a favor. If you EVER get the sudden and irresistible urge to procreate, please call me up and at least let me try and TALK YOU OUT OF IT, for the benefit of humanity. I know you won't listen to that advice, of course, but it will at least let me chase your window-licking son off my property when I'm a grouchy old retired man with a clean conscious.
    - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

  • #2
    I'm surprised. I figured we were GUARANTEED that your first Towing Tales of Humor for February would feature someone doctoring their permit to try to extend the dates. But I didn't figure the idiot would try to turn a 3 into a 4.

    I thought we'd get the numerical surgery of giving that stick-thin 1 some implants to make it a curvy 2.
    PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

    There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

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    • #3
      I look forward to your threads - people are so stupid.

      On that note, have you ever had someone try and doctor a permit so it lasts forever? Like putting the infinity sign instead of a year?

      Comment


      • #4
        I think you're giving them way too much credit, thinking they even KNOW what an infinity sign is.
        - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

        Comment


        • #5
          Quoth Argabarga View Post
          I think you're giving them way too much credit, thinking they even KNOW what an infinity sign is.
          And half of those who've heard something about it would think the mathematical term was a spelling mistake, and use a gold-painted Nissan logo.
          Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

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          • #6
            I was expecting some Feb 30th and 31st for the expiration dates of forged permits.
            To right the countless wrongs of our days... We shine this light of true redemption, that this place may become as paradise...Oh, what a wonderful world such would be...

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            • #7
              One of my favorite bits of trivia, whiteout was
              Invented by Michael Nesmith' (The Monkees) mother.
              "All I've ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who out-drew ya"

              Comment


              • #8
                Quoth Argabarga View Post
                Yeah, too bad "almost" only counts with horseshoes and hand grenades
                What happened to government work?

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth Argus View Post
                  What happened to government work?
                  Contradiction in terms.
                  "All I've ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who out-drew ya"

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth Mr Hero View Post
                    I was expecting some Feb 30th and 31st for the expiration dates of forged permits.
                    The month is young...give them time.
                    I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my keister!

                    Who is John Galt?
                    -Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth Argus View Post
                      What happened to government work?
                      I stopped saying "close enough for government work" 30 years ago, when I worked as a defense contractor. NOTHING was close enough, it had to be exact. (Or we didn't get paid.)
                      I will not be pushed, stamped, filed, indexed, briefed, debriefed, or numbered. My life is my own. --#6

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth Argabarga View Post
                        Sadly, I think the only thing that will ever stop these folks from trying to fudge dates like this is when white out itself goes obsolete and they stop making it, whenever THAT is. Strange that stuff has outlasted the typewriter by almost 35 years at this point.
                        Well, I draw with ink, and I use White-Out to obliterate mistakes. It works pretty well, though I like the ribbon type better as it doesn't blob up. (And no, I do not use my artistic skills to doctor parking permits! ) So yeah, it's going to stay around a while.
                        I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
                        My LiveJournal
                        A page we can all agree with!

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