Pyropocalypse.

[CrappyToHelp]

I was putting towels away today (a new range - ooh!) and over the tannoy I heard"

"This is a customer and [retail slave] announcement. We are about to test our fire alarm system. It will ring for a few seconds only. There is no need to evacuate the store."

Now, they put out this call twice within thirty seconds, so people will hear it.

Fast forward about ten seconds.

*le siren*

Pyrophobe: FIRE! FIRE! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!

Pyrophobe then proceeds to shove her trolley with force into a end display a CW who I will call Fets is working on. Fets is a petite girl and the force knocks the display over and sends her tumbling arse over tit on top of them. Thank God it was nappies (diapers for children of the colonies) and not something hard.

After this, pyrophobe then runs out of the store screaming.

[bookgirl14]

Well we know who wasn't paying attention now.

[sms001]

After this, pyrophobe then runs out of the store screaming.

I'm sorry for your CW and the mess, but I have to think that this would have almost made it worthwhile. I would chortle.

(Also, perhaps: 'phonophobic?')

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

arse over tit

Stolen Permanently borrowed

[DeltaSierra]

arse over tit

Love it.

Slightly on a tangent, I fell on the ice last week and told a co-worker that I went "ass over teakettle" down a hill - the puzzled look they gave me was priceless - I hadn't realized that it wasn't a common phrase here (New England) because all my friends/family back in British Columbia use it often.

[Kal]

My grandad used to say "arse over tip" instead, which is where I picked it up from. Slightly less embarassing if the kids pick it up from me too.

[KatherineB]

Yup, 'arse over tit' or 'arse over tip' or just 'arse over' (I'm Austrayan, we never use the full version when a short version will do) are the ones I've always used.

[BrenDAnn]

I've always heard the saying 'ass over appetite' or 'ass over feet' myself. I do love arse over tit though. Also... the SC running screaming from the building would definitely have been something to laugh at!

[MoonCat]

I hope someone locked the door so the idiot couldn't come back in.

[LillFilly]

Wow.

We had a guy who wasn't all there and fancied himself a fire fighter; wore a jacket, hat and pager; he was always reporting 'problems' to us (AKA, common stuff like the smell of smoke by a door...which happened to be where the grill for a mall restaurant vented! Or 'sparks' which were just flickering flourescent lights). We had a false alarm one saturday afternoon (roadwork was causing fluxes in the water pressure for the sprinklers). We went into the office, reset the alarm, walked out into the food court and...it was empty! Employees at a nearby store were jogging outside and asked why the fire department was here. We told them they weren't, it was a false alarm (we had a PA system we would have announced over had it been real). Well, apparently, Mr. I'm-A-Firefighter took it upon himself to evacuate the mall when he heard the alarm and caused people to panic, nearly causing injuries as they rushed from the food court.

I think I argued he should be charged with inciting panic. He was just banned from the mall. Sales nosedived for the rest of that day as news spread that 'the mall was on fire and was closed for the day.'

[Monterey Jack]

Isn't it against the law to yell "FIRE!!!" in a crowded public place? That asshole should have been banned for something like that.

[Gilhelmi]

You know what, I can understand being so deathly afraid of fires that they would leave the store even hearing the announcement (heck, if there are people afraid of clowns...)

But I can not understand shoving the cart into someone else and endangering others, that is just crazy.

[raudf]

If it had been a fire, I see two scenarios playing out: Either everyone else leaves, while the pyro-nut stays shopping or everyone ignores the fire alarm, thinking it's all a lark.

My neck of the boonies uses "ass up" for a fall. "I landed ass up, when I tried walking down the icy stairs."

[wolfie]

The canonical example of a valid restriction on speech is prohibiting yelling "Fire!" in a crowded theater. What I'd like to know is if it's OK to yell "Movie!" in a crowded firehouse.

As for the wannabe firefighter, one apocryphal story I've heard is about a guy getting onto a crowded (i.e. standing room only) train coach and announcing "This car is not going to $Destination - it is being removed from service due to a defect". Everyone leaves, and he sits down in the now-uncrowded car. A quarter hour later, someone approaches him and asks "Are you the jackass who told everyone the car was being removed from service? You sounded so much like a director that the crew uncoupled it - and the train has already left".

[Cranky Cabbie]

. What I'd like to know is if it's OK to yell "Movie!" in a crowded firehouse.

I'd like to see that, if only for be building of confused firemen you leave in your wake. As for the train story, BWAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!

Also, "Arse up" is the common usage around these parts. It's the shortest!