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IT'S BACK! Another Damn Senior Day
So, just thought I'd start by telling you that our opening front end supervisor, upon starting work for the day, drew "IHOP" in big, balloon-y letters on the white board near the service desk. Of course, this was not an endorsement for the restaurant chain, but an abbreviation for "I Hate Old People." And it was visible to customers too! (If they peeked through the window in the door just right)
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As luck would have it, this month's Another Damn Senior Day fell during the same week one of our mailers with attached coupons made the rounds. Those coupons cannot be combined with other offers, and that includes the 15% senior discount. So the cashiers got stuck doing math all day for customers mad they couldn't use both the discount and their coupon, and wanting the best deal.
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I got stuck mopping up a pee puddle not long after we opened. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yeah.
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Then there was the old guy arguing he should get a $25 rug for $10 because 99.5% of it was to the left of the price label on the shelf, with the rest of it in a spot for a $10 rug. The label was just under and just a bit to the right of the corner of the rug. That was a new one on me, I must admit.
"I'm not trying to give you a hard time" he said, despite doing a damn good job of doing it anyway. Guy argued with me for five whole minutes and I didn't even have 5 seconds to listen to his bullshit. Seriously, it's late, I wanna go home, you're smelly, and I would tell you to kiss my ass too but you probably can't find it. Buy it or not, you're getting 15% off and that's more than I get.
Oh, and as this is going on, there's another old guy in the next aisle snorting and snuffling a wad of phlegm as though it carried great sentimental value. Then he cuts a nice, resonant burp. I didn't smell the smelly smell of rotten eggs and ass from his general vicinity, so I can't award him the trifecta, unless that came in an SBD someplace thankfully far away from me.
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First customer of the day who asked me for help: "Where are the laxatives?"
I could tell you, but it doesn't look like you give a shit.
Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week. If you're planning to Wang Chung tonight, please...use protection.
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No offense meant to readers of All You magazine, but that particular magazine needs to die in a paper shredder.
A woman yelled at me today because we don't carry it. This is not the first time. Personally, I think that magazine is horrifically mis-titled and should instead be called "Insane Coupon Lady's Magazine Full Of Coupons."
I don't know why that magazine is not among our vast (probably too vast, judging by the number we send back every week) assortment of magazines. The distributor never brings it.
Actually, come to think of it, besides being chock-full o' coupons, All You is basically an advertisement for Wally World. Half the ads are either Walmart or items identified as being available there. So maybe we don't want to carry what is basically an advertisement for a major competitor? I dunno. I don't really want to think about it.
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Speaking of things I don't want to think about, is there some use for K-Y jelly other than the one we're all familiar with? I'm told by people working in the area where the K-Y jelly is stocked, that it was selling fairly briskly today. And to older folks as well.
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Not sucky, just amusing: There were a couple old ladies bu the rugs as I was trying to stock stuff in there. As I was filling the rest of my stuff in domestics, the younger of two old ladies was informing the other of my movements. "He's by the curtains now! Now he's by pillows!" I dunno, maybe she was telling her where I was if she needed help?
I wonder what she would've said if I decided to use the restroom at that time. "He's going to take a leak!"
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I got paged to do a cart run. In doing this I got honked at by some battle-axe in a land yacht while I was trying to remove the four carts abandoned in one of the main traffic aisles, meaning people were having to swerve around them.
Then we got bitched at because somebody else left a cart half in one of the handicapped spaces. Next time just leave the whole thing in there. Jerks.
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As a final kick in the crotch, I stayed late half an hour to help my co-workers finish the planogram form skin care. You know, the approximately 2 quadrillion skin creams and potions that advertise the ability to make you look younger but don't work. It was a lot of moving small items, inserting plastic dividers between them, and making sure everything was clean and in the correct spots.
And my amazing manager though one person could knock that out in one day! It took two people over a day to finish that. It is definitely one place in the store where we can't start a reset and then leave it for somebody else to finish.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As luck would have it, this month's Another Damn Senior Day fell during the same week one of our mailers with attached coupons made the rounds. Those coupons cannot be combined with other offers, and that includes the 15% senior discount. So the cashiers got stuck doing math all day for customers mad they couldn't use both the discount and their coupon, and wanting the best deal.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I got stuck mopping up a pee puddle not long after we opened. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yeah.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Then there was the old guy arguing he should get a $25 rug for $10 because 99.5% of it was to the left of the price label on the shelf, with the rest of it in a spot for a $10 rug. The label was just under and just a bit to the right of the corner of the rug. That was a new one on me, I must admit.
"I'm not trying to give you a hard time" he said, despite doing a damn good job of doing it anyway. Guy argued with me for five whole minutes and I didn't even have 5 seconds to listen to his bullshit. Seriously, it's late, I wanna go home, you're smelly, and I would tell you to kiss my ass too but you probably can't find it. Buy it or not, you're getting 15% off and that's more than I get.
Oh, and as this is going on, there's another old guy in the next aisle snorting and snuffling a wad of phlegm as though it carried great sentimental value. Then he cuts a nice, resonant burp. I didn't smell the smelly smell of rotten eggs and ass from his general vicinity, so I can't award him the trifecta, unless that came in an SBD someplace thankfully far away from me.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
First customer of the day who asked me for help: "Where are the laxatives?"
I could tell you, but it doesn't look like you give a shit.
Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week. If you're planning to Wang Chung tonight, please...use protection.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
No offense meant to readers of All You magazine, but that particular magazine needs to die in a paper shredder.
A woman yelled at me today because we don't carry it. This is not the first time. Personally, I think that magazine is horrifically mis-titled and should instead be called "Insane Coupon Lady's Magazine Full Of Coupons."
I don't know why that magazine is not among our vast (probably too vast, judging by the number we send back every week) assortment of magazines. The distributor never brings it.
Actually, come to think of it, besides being chock-full o' coupons, All You is basically an advertisement for Wally World. Half the ads are either Walmart or items identified as being available there. So maybe we don't want to carry what is basically an advertisement for a major competitor? I dunno. I don't really want to think about it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Speaking of things I don't want to think about, is there some use for K-Y jelly other than the one we're all familiar with? I'm told by people working in the area where the K-Y jelly is stocked, that it was selling fairly briskly today. And to older folks as well.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Not sucky, just amusing: There were a couple old ladies bu the rugs as I was trying to stock stuff in there. As I was filling the rest of my stuff in domestics, the younger of two old ladies was informing the other of my movements. "He's by the curtains now! Now he's by pillows!" I dunno, maybe she was telling her where I was if she needed help?
I wonder what she would've said if I decided to use the restroom at that time. "He's going to take a leak!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I got paged to do a cart run. In doing this I got honked at by some battle-axe in a land yacht while I was trying to remove the four carts abandoned in one of the main traffic aisles, meaning people were having to swerve around them.
Then we got bitched at because somebody else left a cart half in one of the handicapped spaces. Next time just leave the whole thing in there. Jerks.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As a final kick in the crotch, I stayed late half an hour to help my co-workers finish the planogram form skin care. You know, the approximately 2 quadrillion skin creams and potions that advertise the ability to make you look younger but don't work. It was a lot of moving small items, inserting plastic dividers between them, and making sure everything was clean and in the correct spots.
And my amazing manager though one person could knock that out in one day! It took two people over a day to finish that. It is definitely one place in the store where we can't start a reset and then leave it for somebody else to finish.
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