Relationships, kids, etc.
I'm not even sure where to start.
My bf and I have each had previous marriages. Ex's are still in town and involved with the kids. After much trepidation, we moved in together. This caused issues with are ex's, one being a douchbag, the other being a whoreface.
He has 3 kids and have 1, ages 9-13.
He gets along fine with my daughter, and even my ex has been remarkably restrained about bitching about us in front of my daughter (age 9). So that's actually fine.
The issue is with his kids, me, and ex-whoreface (WF)
WF was out of the picture for several years, only spent time with the kids occasionally. She was out right mean to the oldest (there are reasons why that I suspect may be the case, but aren't really relevant). She only came back in the picture and stayed (going on two years now) once BF and I officially started dating. About 6 months after that it was revealed to me that the kids hated me. I suddenly found myself a very unpopular person. All because of WF. I tried to take it in stride, but hey, it's not easy to suddenly find yourself not liked when you can't figure out why.
The nicer I was, it seemed, the more negativity came my way. BFs bro advised me that I was too nice and they didn't respect me. At a loss I kept trying.
WF continued her campaign, it got so bad that it had to be kept secret that I covered the costs for the kids to do Little League and soccer.
His daughters birthday was held at his old place last year (because he's cleaner). The message came back from her that "that bitch better not make a cake, because they're disgusting". (sorry WF is you didnt care for my experrimental chocolate/raspberry cake, other people did) Well WF was bringing a cookie cake to school, so I said to BF, "well is she bringing one here, or what?"
BF: "I don't think so".
So, i had some fondant that I'd made to play around with, and was planning on making crispie treats, so I made a cake anyway. A piggy cake. She showed up sans cake, but she still freaked out later. Apparently I'd hurt her feelings. WTF?!?! She has a campaign of hate in regards to me, and I hurt her feelings!!
So I make cakes and do birthdays, and get no thanks or any fucking thing.
After we moved in together a year ago is where it get hairy.
The oldest has behavoir issues. He tears stuff up, breaks things, takes things often without asking. Often times those things wind up being mine, or my daughters. After the first several instances of this happening, it got old. So after being nice at first, and saying "please don't do xxx again" I got pissed off. I stopped being nice.
So in December most of my daughters DSi games go missing. I tell her to look for them. She finds a couple plus the one in her DSi (so 4 out of 9) . Keep looking, I say. Since then we've torn apart that room, and looked elsewhere, several more times.
I hope I've missed something, but my conclusion is either one of their friends took them (why I don't know, I'm just trying to figure out where these damn things are) or one of his kids "borrowed" them and left them at their moms. But there are no DSi games over there at all apparently, even though the kids have left their other games there.
So BF is pissed at me for even thinking one of his kids would do that (I'm calling them criminals now apparently), my daughter thinks I'm upset at her for loosing them, his kids hate me (I yelled a bit too much today, it was hot and I was low on sugar, and I just want to know WTF happened to the damn games), and he's further pissed off at me for that becausehe believes that will lead to the hating him. He believes that because that what happened with his family growing up. He hated his stepdad at first, then his mom for many years.
I don't want them to hate me, but I really don't see what I can do. I vented to his more level headed (90% of the them) bro about this earlier, so he's probably mad at me too now.