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  • "I tested positive for cocane because....

    I had sex with somone who had just done cocane last night and didn't take a bath. I need to retest for free because it's not my fault. "

    This was the argument presented by somone who came in and had a drug test done. She stood at the window and argued a bit, but eventually gave up. Even if her story was believeable, she killed it by twitching and looking around in a paranoid way. Not to mention that she was yelling this infront of a bunch of senior citizens who were more than shocked. I love drug screens, they almost always give me somthing to laugh at.

    It's kind of sad that she is probably going to be in deep trouble, but she chose to do it.

  • #2
    Ya it's your fault, shoulda put a condom on!
    Go for the whole deal, wear a diver outfit!
    Now would be a good time to visit So Very Unofficial!

    "I've had so many nasty customers this week, my bottomless pit is now ankle-deep."-Me.

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    • #3
      Yeah, cuz cocaine is an STD
      -"One ring to rule them all!"-Elias
      -Ask yourself, "WWRKHTSCCJ:TMD?"

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      • #4
        On one of my random drug tests I tested positive for Opiates in a whizz test. I got read the riot act. I swore up and down that I didn't take anything (hell I've never been drunk much less stoned). It fell on deaf ears and they were making me go on suspension without pay and signing me up for rehab.

        They finally relented and offered me a chance to prove myself by going to some clinic and getting blood drawn. If it came back as clean then I would be allowed back on the job and would get my normal pay for the time I was gone.

        Went to the clinic that very day and popped a vein for them. Week later Human Resources called me and said that I was clean and the opiates detected in the instant urine test kit were too low to have been anything more than poppy seeds and asked if I had consumed any before my test. As a matter of fact I had eaten two lemon poppy muffins.

        They then told me that I should avoid eating poppy seed products on days when I'm getting tested. I asked them how I was supposed to do that since the drug testing is random. They didn't have an answer for me. However the new policy is to ask if the person has eaten anything with poppy seeds within the past 24 hours and will pass on the poppy seed test and just send you straight in for blood work.

        End result? Kept my job for another several years and had a nice vacation with pay that didn't count against my regular vacation.

        M
        I never lost my faith in humanity. Can't lose what you never had right?

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        • #5
          UMMM... I realize this was a while ago, but you may want to rethink where you buy your lemon poppy muffins. Poppy seeds will only cause a false positive on a drug test if they were unwashed, or if you have eaten several pounds of poppy seeds that day. 2 muffins likely means that they weren't washed, and thats just kinda gross.

          Don't worry though, you're not the first, and definately not the last. When I was working for drug screening company, the CEO of a major company did the drug test to show solidarity with the workers, and he came back positive for the same reason. When he traced the dirty seeds back, he had a nice lawsuit.
          The only words you said that I understood were "His", "Phone" and "Ya'll". The other 2 paragraphs worth was about as intelligible as a drunken Teletubby barkin' come on's at a Hooter's waitress.

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          • #6
            I'd be pissed they didn't immediately order a re-test. Drug tests are succeptable to false-positives. A positive test should mean another, immediate test, not a suspension and rehab. IIRC, that's been the policy of every company I've worked for at least during the initial hiring phase drug test.

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            • #7
              Quoth Banrion View Post
              UMMM... I realize this was a while ago, but you may want to rethink where you buy your lemon poppy muffins. Poppy seeds will only cause a false positive on a drug test if they were unwashed, or if you have eaten several pounds of poppy seeds that day. 2 muffins likely means that they weren't washed, and thats just kinda gross.
              It doesn't have to be several pounds. If I can remember it right (and I'm sure another member can correct me), on Mythbusters they got a false positive from eating a poppy seed cake that looked to be one pound, or less. This was a mass produced product, so I would think there were not unwashed poppy seeds involved.

              Another question: Are unwashed poppy seeds somehow different from unwashed sunflower seeds? When I was a kid, we used to eat sunflower seeds straight from the sunflower in my grandmother's garden after the plant died. I don't think anything is wrong with me...
              The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
              "Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
              Hoc spatio locantur.

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              • #8
                Please excuse me while I'm a nerd for a couple of paragraphs:

                Opium is produced from the unripe seed pods of poppies, but all parts of the plant contain trace amounts of opioids - these are the compounds from which the opium is made, and can also be used to manufacture codeine and morphine. The human body naturally produces opioids - they are sort of natural painkillers which kick in when the body suffers a severe injury (e.g. loss of a limb), and - if I recall correctly - are also produced when we exercise for a long time, like running a marathon ("going through the pain barrier").

                So, Geek King, you're OK, essentially because sunflower seeds come from a different plant. Also, washed poppy seeds should still produce false positives on drug tests.

                AAARRGGGHH. I don't mean to be such a geek, I just can't help it!
                Me non rogo, hic modo laboro.

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                • #9
                  Quoth Geek King View Post
                  Another question: Are unwashed poppy seeds somehow different from unwashed sunflower seeds?
                  Yeah, there's a difference, they come from different plants

                  But really, I think the issue with washing is more to do with general things like pesticides.

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