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New Game: The CS Shaving Cream Song

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  • New Game: The CS Shaving Cream Song

    XCashier had a great idea.

    The way you play is that you compose an SC-related tale(s?) to a verse(s?) of The Shaving Cream Song.

    The crude term for excrement gets replaced with:
    shaving cream; be nice and clean; shave every day and you'll always look keen
    Here are entries from this thread:
    Quoth EricKei View Post
    I once had a S.C. curse at us,
    Their pizza was not the right fit,
    Two weeks since they ordered?! They called us,
    They said, "This food tastes just like..."
    shaving cream; be nice and clean; shave every day and you'll always look keen
    Quoth XCashier View Post
    Last night an SC bought a pattern
    And then bought ten yards of stretch knit
    She tried to return it this morning
    All washed out and cut up to...
    shaving cream; be nice and clean; shave every day and you'll always look keen
    A tax custy's refund was seized
    it was for support for his kids
    he called us out quite loudly
    He said that the practice was ...
    shaving cream; be nice and clean; shave every day and you'll always look keen
    That is how this game will work
    I ask that you to please not quit
    If this very concept offends you,
    Stick your head in a barrel of ....
    shaving cream; be nice and clean; shave every day and you'll always look keen
    I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my keister!

    Who is John Galt?
    -Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

  • #2
    Typing up letters from readers...
    My head on the wall, I will hit.
    Caps in wrong places, no commas,
    You dumb mofos can't spell worth
    shaving cream; be nice and clean; shave every day and you'll always look keen
    Screaming S.C. is so angry,
    I'm getting so tired of it.
    My manager, he is so spineless,
    Can't take any more of this
    shaving cream; be nice and clean; shave every day and you'll always look keen
    Gravekeeper he gets all the weird ones,
    Amazed that he's not yet lost it.
    We sympathize with your frustration,
    But we love to read all of that
    shaving cream; be nice and clean; shave every day and you'll always look keen
    Drunk guy comes in Tuesday morning,
    It's obvious that he's quite lit.
    He says "Gimme some Pabst Blue Ribbon!!"
    Jester says we don't sell that
    shaving cream; be nice and clean; shave every day and you'll always look keen
    ----------

    Side note -- For years, I thought that second line was "Peanuts and cream" until I actually looked up the lyrics. >_<

    Amazing they were able to get away with this in 1946...tho I always loved the last verse: "...If any of you feel offended,/Stick your head in a barrel of..."
    Last edited by EricKei; 01-29-2014, 05:54 PM. Reason: MOAR
    "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
    "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
    "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
    "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
    "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
    "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
    Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
    "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

    Comment


    • #3
      You bought this old toaster just last night
      At the swamp, and you paid with debit?
      It's got ten years of bread crumbs and scorch marks
      You know what? You are so full of......
      shaving cream; be nice and clean; shave every day and you'll always look keen
      Last edited by Irving Patrick Freleigh; 01-29-2014, 06:30 PM.
      Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

      "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

      Comment


      • #4
        The customer returned a game
        Said he didn't like Wii Fit
        I opened the box
        And it was full of

        shaving cream; be nice and clean; shave every day and you'll always look keen
        "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

        Comment


        • #5
          The customer rattled the locked door.
          We'd had to close up for a bit.
          We told her "we have a power outage,"
          She told us that we're full of
          shaving cream; be nice and clean; shave every day and you'll always look keen
          I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
          My LiveJournal
          A page we can all agree with!

          Comment


          • #6
            I went for an oil change at Kwik-E-Lube
            I drove the car for just a minute
            They forgot to replace the car's drain plug
            And my engine, it just took a ...

            shaving cream; be nice and clean; shave every day and you'll always look keen
            Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

            "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

            Comment


            • #7
              The sign, it said "No Parking"
              You decided you'd try your luck
              Now you're on foot and your pissed-off
              Too bad, I don't give a ...

              shaving cream; be nice and clean; shave every day and you'll always look keen
              - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

              Comment


              • #8
                I started working at the call center
                Folks yell at me as I sit
                "Your company sucks and I'm angry
                Go die in a fire and eat..."

                shaving cream; be nice and clean; shave every day and you'll always look keen
                Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

                Comment


                • #9
                  I had to go clean up the bathroom.
                  Foul odors from there did emit.
                  I looked at the bathroom in horror.
                  The walls were all coated in
                  shaving cream; be nice and clean; shave every day and you'll always look keen
                  I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
                  My LiveJournal
                  A page we can all agree with!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    A couple came in to my bar
                    Asked if I'd watch their infant a bit
                    They wanted to drink without worries
                    But I don't get paid to babys--

                    SHAAAAving cream, be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look clean.

                    I serve drinks for a living,
                    So someone please tell me where it's writ
                    That I have to put up with these jackasses
                    And all of their utter bullsh--

                    SHAAAAving cream, be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look clean.

                    Grandma Moses wanted a discount
                    And rather than throwing a snit
                    She thought she'd try to be sexy
                    By flashing us her saggy ole--

                    SHAAAAving cream, be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look clean.

                    If we ask you for valid ID
                    And you're young enough to still have all those zits
                    Don't argue with us, you can't win
                    So stop giving us your all that whiny--

                    SHAAAAving cream, be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look clean.

                    It's barely past noon on a weekday
                    And already you're drunk as a duck
                    But if you think I'll still serve you
                    You're clearly dumber than--

                    SHAAAAving cream, be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look clean.

                    Quoth EricKei View Post
                    Drunk guy comes in Tuesday morning,
                    It's obvious that he's quite lit.
                    He says "Gimme some Pabst Blue Ribbon!!"
                    Jester says we don't sell that
                    Creepy bizarre....that actually happened yesterday. And of course yesterday was Tuesday! As I said, weird.....

                    "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                    Still A Customer."

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      You called up our IT Support line,
                      You'd borked up your files quite a bit.
                      You're going to have to reboot now.
                      Spare me all of your whining bull--

                      SHHHAAAVING cream, be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look clean.

                      I understand you think you're important,
                      Your title runs on quite a bit.
                      But you're hardly a VIP, are you?
                      Go away with your entitlement--

                      SHHHAAAVING cream, be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look clean.
                      PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

                      There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        My cat he is looking right at me,
                        Right where I would like to sit.
                        I ask him to move, he says No Way --
                        How are you not used to my

                        SHHHAAAVING cream, be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look clean.

                        There is snow all over the country,
                        People are stuck fast in it.
                        But you know, my town got off lucky,
                        So I'm not stuck driving through

                        SHHHAAAVING cream, be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look clean.

                        Katrina it fucked up my hometown,
                        We ran so far and fast from it.
                        Four weeks on, I opened my freezer,
                        The food, it had turned into

                        SHHHAAAVING cream, be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look clean.

                        This guy he don't know no computer,
                        No clue 'bout a byte, nor a bit.
                        He took White-Out to fix his spelling,
                        And covered his display with

                        SHHHAAAVING cream, be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look clean.

                        Pokemon are such odd creatures,
                        Just how, in that ball, can they fit?
                        I guess they don't need to be eating,
                        'Cuz it seems that they never

                        SHHHAAAVING cream, be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look clean.

                        Quoth Jester View Post
                        Creepy bizarre....that actually happened yesterday. And of course yesterday was Tuesday! As I said, weird.....
                        But for me...? It was Tuesday.
                        "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                        "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                        "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                        "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                        "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                        "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                        Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                        "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          You don't like our rules and our system.
                          You're yelling and pitching a fit.
                          You say "the cust'mer's always right,"
                          But I say that you're full of
                          shaving cream; be nice and clean; shave every day and you'll always look keen
                          I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
                          My LiveJournal
                          A page we can all agree with!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            That button is easy to find, yeah,
                            And easy to press, isn't it?
                            When someone is being an asshole,
                            We love it when you report

                            SHHHAAAVING cream, be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look clean.

                            New users, they're on Moderation,
                            Invisible posts, they're a hit.
                            So you don't have to deal with spammers,
                            We just banned three dudes for that

                            SHHHAAAVING cream, be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look clean.
                            "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                            "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                            "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                            "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                            "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                            "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                            Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                            "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              If a horrific outbreak of acne
                              Marks your face up with many a zit
                              Then there's a great new way to cure it
                              So just slather your face in....

                              SHHHAAAVING cream, be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look clean.

                              Something shiny you got in your mail
                              It's an AOL installation kit
                              Your computer's now slow and it's useless
                              Should've just just chucked out that piece of...

                              SHHHAAAVING cream, be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look clean.
                              Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                              "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

                              Comment

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