How do you deal with someone who is addicted to verbal and mental abuse from a spouse? They occasionally snap and end up doing to a friends (mine or otherwise) but then always end up crawling back even if what they get when they get through the door is still the same abusive rant that they walked out of the door too.
A few years ago (before my interaction with them) they were so bad they were pretty much 24/7 in an alcoholic stupor and needed to be dragged out of it before it killed them. Now that isn't the case but they are still hooked on that abusive partner and thinking they have no "right" to leave them after decades of abuse.
As friends of this person we are sick of it. Sick of dealing with the outcome and getting them stable again only to have them run junkie style back to their 'dealer' for the next round when their spouse doesn't even pretend to try to change.
This happened in the last few days and I handed the friend a flick knife when they said they were going back and said "If you want to do it do it cleanly for everyone else's sake..." Not the best way of dealing with it but honestly what I felt at the time.
(And I note: Friend is not traditionally suicidal and myself and the flatmate both have been - this isn't a flippant reaction discounting the real impact and issues of suicide. Not something we bring up or do lightly but the abuse they are facing day in and day out is THAT bad.)
Its not my battle to fight, I know that. But as people who care about this friend? It hurts to see him walk back into that hellhole time after time.
A few years ago (before my interaction with them) they were so bad they were pretty much 24/7 in an alcoholic stupor and needed to be dragged out of it before it killed them. Now that isn't the case but they are still hooked on that abusive partner and thinking they have no "right" to leave them after decades of abuse.
As friends of this person we are sick of it. Sick of dealing with the outcome and getting them stable again only to have them run junkie style back to their 'dealer' for the next round when their spouse doesn't even pretend to try to change.
This happened in the last few days and I handed the friend a flick knife when they said they were going back and said "If you want to do it do it cleanly for everyone else's sake..." Not the best way of dealing with it but honestly what I felt at the time.
(And I note: Friend is not traditionally suicidal and myself and the flatmate both have been - this isn't a flippant reaction discounting the real impact and issues of suicide. Not something we bring up or do lightly but the abuse they are facing day in and day out is THAT bad.)
Its not my battle to fight, I know that. But as people who care about this friend? It hurts to see him walk back into that hellhole time after time.
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