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Tales of suckiness for thanksgiving day, oddly enough.
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Went to Meijer this morning to get a few things to cook breakfast, since me and the bf woke up round normal breakfast time for once. Let's be clear, it is 6am, on Thanksgiving Day. the store is pack with last minute shoppers and "shit I forgot this" crazy people. I am trolling round in the bread aisle, trying to find the cheapest brand of hot dog buns when a a group of 13-14 year olds walk up.
DAK- Dumbass kid
DAKF- DAK's friend
Me- why?!
I'm picking out the buns when they scoot up. DAK, the suggested leader of this group looks around before leaning towards me and utters these retarded words:
DAK: Hey, we'll give you $20 if you buy us beer.
Me: *my hand stops midway toward the shelf. My neck slowly turns to look the youngen in the eye and I utter these words* What the fuck?
DAKF: Look, just buy us some booze and we'll pay you. Nobody's gotta know.
*Rest of the kids are nodding and agreeing.*
Me: *am dumbfounded for all of about 3 seconds before* Are you fucking crazy! Dude I'm not even old enough to buy myself booze. Fuck off you little shit before I get security over here.
DAK: *rustles inside his pocket, as if he had some sort of weapon hidden in there, god knows why* Buy us some fucking booze!
Group then tries to "surround" me, but fails because half of the group realizes how stupid this plan is and backs away from the rest.
I, of course, always paranoid about my crazy ex's return, have been carrying a pocket knife of some sort for over a year now and am not afraid to get it out when needed. I didn't even have to flick it open, the sheer site of the knife scarred the kids enough to leave the store entirely. How stupid can you be?! Really?
Just, wow
Woman gets caught trying to steal a turkey. let me repeat that. SHE. TRIED. TO. STEAL. A. WHOLE. FUCKING. TURKEY! And expected to get away with it! Really, it does not take a genius to figure out that your purse, that is the same exact size and shape of a turkey, is hiding a whole fucking turkey. The bag was a fucking Coach bag! Not some cheap knockoff, a honest to God fucking Coach bag. My mom has one, I know how much they cost. If you can afford a fucking Coach bag, you should be able to afford a fucking $5 turkey! Really lady, really?
Please leave me alone
Driving home. Now, I just recently, (as in a few days ago) acquired a new car. I had a normal sized 4x4 truck before, now I have a tiny, very light honda hatchback. BIG difference in driving experiences. Any small gust of wind will blow me off the road, no joke. So, it is not funny to sneak up behind me in a very large SUV and being riding my ass the entire way home, while it is raining heavily out. This scares me because if you hit me, I'm a goner! So fuck you lady, learn how to drive according to weather, or take a different route if you have a problem with the way i drive.
Feeling a whole lot better though. My awesome mommy gave us a ton of left overs and my awesome roommate/surrogate big brother has gotten me drunk. I love them so!
Insert Title Here
Went to Meijer this morning to get a few things to cook breakfast, since me and the bf woke up round normal breakfast time for once. Let's be clear, it is 6am, on Thanksgiving Day. the store is pack with last minute shoppers and "shit I forgot this" crazy people. I am trolling round in the bread aisle, trying to find the cheapest brand of hot dog buns when a a group of 13-14 year olds walk up.
DAK- Dumbass kid
DAKF- DAK's friend
Me- why?!
I'm picking out the buns when they scoot up. DAK, the suggested leader of this group looks around before leaning towards me and utters these retarded words:
DAK: Hey, we'll give you $20 if you buy us beer.
Me: *my hand stops midway toward the shelf. My neck slowly turns to look the youngen in the eye and I utter these words* What the fuck?
DAKF: Look, just buy us some booze and we'll pay you. Nobody's gotta know.
*Rest of the kids are nodding and agreeing.*
Me: *am dumbfounded for all of about 3 seconds before* Are you fucking crazy! Dude I'm not even old enough to buy myself booze. Fuck off you little shit before I get security over here.
DAK: *rustles inside his pocket, as if he had some sort of weapon hidden in there, god knows why* Buy us some fucking booze!
Group then tries to "surround" me, but fails because half of the group realizes how stupid this plan is and backs away from the rest.
I, of course, always paranoid about my crazy ex's return, have been carrying a pocket knife of some sort for over a year now and am not afraid to get it out when needed. I didn't even have to flick it open, the sheer site of the knife scarred the kids enough to leave the store entirely. How stupid can you be?! Really?
Just, wow
Woman gets caught trying to steal a turkey. let me repeat that. SHE. TRIED. TO. STEAL. A. WHOLE. FUCKING. TURKEY! And expected to get away with it! Really, it does not take a genius to figure out that your purse, that is the same exact size and shape of a turkey, is hiding a whole fucking turkey. The bag was a fucking Coach bag! Not some cheap knockoff, a honest to God fucking Coach bag. My mom has one, I know how much they cost. If you can afford a fucking Coach bag, you should be able to afford a fucking $5 turkey! Really lady, really?
Please leave me alone
Driving home. Now, I just recently, (as in a few days ago) acquired a new car. I had a normal sized 4x4 truck before, now I have a tiny, very light honda hatchback. BIG difference in driving experiences. Any small gust of wind will blow me off the road, no joke. So, it is not funny to sneak up behind me in a very large SUV and being riding my ass the entire way home, while it is raining heavily out. This scares me because if you hit me, I'm a goner! So fuck you lady, learn how to drive according to weather, or take a different route if you have a problem with the way i drive.
Feeling a whole lot better though. My awesome mommy gave us a ton of left overs and my awesome roommate/surrogate big brother has gotten me drunk. I love them so!
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