Frozen Turkey Fail

[Sapphire Silk]

This story is hearsay, but I thought funny enough to share . . . .

I spent Thanksgiving in Maryland with the family this year. Whenever I visit with Mom I always take her grocery shopping before I head back to North Carolina.

So around 10 this morning, we head out to the Gargantuan Grocery (love the word gargantuan, so seldom have an opportunity to use it in a sentence). The highway was heavy with traffic and all the big box parking lots were packed with the BF shoppers. The grocery lot was nearly empty, and the store was also nearly empty. Most of the people there were employees restocking (from yesterday I presume).

Mom gets her shopping done in short order, and we head to the register to pay. I mentioned how empty the store was.

Clerk: That's nothing. Yesterday was packed.

Me: Ah. The "Oh crap, I forgot the cranberry sauce or the gravy crowd."

Clerk: No, actually, the "I forgot the turkey crowd."

Me: No kidding! Glad I wasn't them.

Clerk: Yep. We sold out of turkeys on Wednesday.

Me: *laughs*

Clerk: One fellow almost bought our last three, asked me if they'd be thawed in time for dinner.

Me: Thawed as in time for dinner Thanksgiving?

Clerk: Yep. Then he told me he was going to deep fat fry them. I warned him not to try and fry a frozen turkey. He didn't buy them, but told me to hold on to them because he'd be back to get them if he couldn't find any that were already thawed.

Me: Oh. My. God.


Unfortunately, I don't know how the story turned out . . . but I didn't hear any stories about dumbwits burning down their houses deep fat frying their turkerys in Mom's area, so he either gave up or found a thawed turkey somewhere.

[ApolloSZ]

Having never cooked a turkey, nor done Thanksgiving

Why don't you deep fry a frozen turkey?

[ReverendBSB]

The water content will cause the oil to boil over and probably ignite. It wold not cook properly either.

[Duelist925]

Having never cooked a turkey, nor done Thanksgiving

Why don't you deep fry a frozen turkey?

Much the same reason one does not put a grease fire out with water--water/ice evaporates, turns to steam, carries oil over the side into the fire, FWOOOSH! Best case scenario involves loss of eyebrows, and singed ground.

[Legal Eagle]

have you ever seen videos of why you don't throw water on a fire involving fryers? massive fireball.

Except this time not only do you have a huge fireball, but you are stood 10 inches from the centre of it, your death and the buring down of the house, will not make your family's thanksgiving happy.

[Sapphire Silk]

Depending on the size of the turkey, a quick way to defrost it would be to soak it in water in the tub or sink. I know my mom used to do have to do this with the free-range 25+ lb turkey we used to get when she would feed a small army for Thanksgiving or Christmas, because taking it out of the freezer a day before still wouldn't guarantee the turkey would be defrosted in time. She never deep-fried it though...no access to a big enough fryer for the bird!

I once thawed a frozen turkey by giving it a hot water enema: ran the hot water through the inside of the bird to make sure it was thawed all the way through. Then we roasted it the usual way. Worked out fine.

To deep fry a turkey safely you must have a fryer big enough for both the bird and the oil. The bird must be completely submerged in the oil. Place the fryer on concrete at least 25 feet away from the house. Do NOT use your wood deck unless you plan on replacing it at your own cost (insurance likely will not cover your own stupidity).

I've heard deep fried turkey is delicious . . . but I'd rather just roast it and let the smell heighten my anticipation before dinner

[Parrothead]

This link shows why you don't deep fry a frozen bird.

[Sliceanddice]

I once thawed a frozen turkey by giving it a hot water enema: ran the hot water through the inside of the bird to make sure it was thawed all the way through. Then we roasted it the usual way. Worked out fine.

To deep fry a turkey safely you must have a fryer big enough for both the bird and the oil. The bird must be completely submerged in the oil. Place the fryer on concrete at least 25 feet away from the house. Do NOT use your wood deck unless you plan on replacing it at your own cost (insurance likely will not cover your own stupidity).

I've heard deep fried turkey is delicious . . . but I'd rather just roast it and let the smell heighten my anticipation before dinner

runninf cold water works too and is pretty easy, all you need is a bucket or basin a can of cranberry cause and your bath tub lol

[ApolloSZ]

Yeah I've seen the vids of watr on oil fires.
I like "booms". From a distance.

Whats ths facination with deep frying?

[TheSHAD0W]

Whats ths facination with deep frying?

Because the stuff it creates tastes really really good. :-P

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E270Qx5OpxU - good instructions on how to safely and deliciously deep fry a turkey.

[Cookie]

The stories pour in every year of people who cause massive explosions deep frying a frozen turkey. Some redneck (well, where I'm from originally, they're mostly rednecks) will crank his Fry Daddy all the way up to "High". (Cuz it cooks faster that way.) In some cases, it doesn't occur to them to take the Fry Daddy outside of the house first. As moist, frozen turkey hits seriously hot oil, spillage, flames, and projectile turkey are the sad, dangerous results.

[Frantic Freddie]

Because the stuff it creates tastes really really good. :-P

Amen brother....have a beer

[Spork4pedro]

we head out to the Gargantuan Grocery (love the word gargantuan, so seldom have an opportunity to use it in a sentence).

Hehe...I loved Elle Driver from Kill Bill

I have always wanted to try a deep fried turkey but I just know if I do it myself the firefighters won't be far behind.

[LadyAndreca]

I've been told that since turkey is a dry meat, deep frying it is one way to make it moist and tender. The added expense of the oil and fryer mean I've never had it that way, though I admit I'm curious.

[Sapphire Silk]

I've never had it either, and I've also heard it is very good.

It is easy to dry out a turkey if you don't cook it right. Slow roast it wrapped well in tin foil to hold in the juices, and baste regularly and it is nice and tender.

Evil Empryss makes the BEST turkey ever!