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Pop quiz from your driver's ed class!

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  • Pop quiz from your driver's ed class!

    You are driving an expensive SUV on a university campus five minutes before classes start. You approach a pedestrian crosswalk, about 20 yards ahead of you. On one side of the crosswalk, a group of three people are about to enter. On the other side, a group of seven people have just entered. Do you:
    (A) Obey the posted "Pedestrians Have Right of Way" sign and wait patiently for your fellow students to cross
    (B) Slam on the gas, tires squealing, and speed through the crosswalk like a bat out of hell, or
    (C) Slam on the gas, tires squealing, speed through the crosswalk and then laugh at the pedestrians diving for cover

    If you chose (B), please stop by Sylvia's office to pick up your complimentary obscene gesture. If you chose (C), please schedule an appointment for your mandatory anal penetration, this week only with extra spikes and reduced lubrication. If you chose (A), then you have failed Driver's Ed 201: How to Drive like a Shitbrained Entitlement Legacy.
    "If everyone is thinking alike, someone isn't thinking." - George Patton

    "If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough." - Albert Einstein

  • #2
    What about (D) Slam on the gas, tires squealing, attempt to run over as many pedestrians as possible while laughing maniacilly. Remember 10 points for every hit.

    Ok Where do I go for them Dry Spikes again.
    My Karma ran over your dogma.

    Comment


    • #3
      i hate ass holes.... you can wait an extra 30 seconds to get to class...

      Comment


      • #4
        Quoth Cyphr View Post
        i hate ass holes.... you can wait an extra 30 seconds to get to class...
        But their mommies and daddies wouldn't have paid for this shiny new car if they couldn't use it to beat everyone else out of their way. </sarcasm>


        Quoth digilight View Post
        What about (D) Slam on the gas, tires squealing, attempt to run over as many pedestrians as possible while laughing maniacilly. Remember 10 points for every hit.

        Ok Where do I go for them Dry Spikes again.
        Ooo, secret option (D)! You actually get these FREE shiny silver bracelets and an all-expenses-paid six month vacation at our local corrections facility. The mandatory anal penetration will be provided by your cellmate, Ramrod. Enjoy your stay, and please think of us for all your future law-breaking needs.
        Last edited by Sylvia727; 01-29-2008, 09:04 PM. Reason: multiquote
        "If everyone is thinking alike, someone isn't thinking." - George Patton

        "If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough." - Albert Einstein

        Comment


        • #5
          You missed another option:

          (E)--Slam on the gas, tires squealing, attempt to run over as many pedestrians as you can. Then throw your SUV into reverse, back up and run 'em over again! Then shift back into drive, and run 'em down again. And again.

          Your reward will be daily (sometimes even twice daily) anal penetrations by cellmates Ramrod, Big Baby and Squirrel. These will be administered dry, so keep your pillow close by at all times and try not to think about that persistent itching, burning sensation. This will continue until your execution, which you will eagerly await and then welcome with open arms.
          Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

          "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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          • #6
            Quoth Sylvia727 View Post
            Ooo, secret option (D)! You actually get these FREE shiny silver bracelets and an all-expenses-paid six month vacation at our local corrections facility. The mandatory anal penetration will be provided by your cellmate, Ramrod. Enjoy your stay, and please think of us for all your future law-breaking needs.

            Ahh a visit to our Kara's World (sung to the music of Elmo's world)
            My Karma ran over your dogma.

            Comment


            • #7
              (f) slam gas and laugh until you notice of of the pedstrians is in ROTC and has access to antitank weaponry.

              Comment


              • #8
                What about option (G) Slow down allowing the people to get into the cross walk, then gun the SUV running over the pedestrians, pull a 180 break survey the scene making sure to mow down any survivors and witnesses, then finally continue on to the nearest handicapped parking spaces and take up 3 of them making sure to block in an old lady's car.

                Your reward for such an epic example of asshatted, entitlement whoring, raging idiocy is an all-expenses paid vacation to our lovely new hotel. Marvel at our communal showers full of anal penetrating goodness. Behold our dining hall chock full of virality boosting vitamins. Stare in awe of our other magnificent occupants each with a body of a steroid filled gorilla but twice as tall, wide, and emotional. Prepare to drop trowel for them each and every hour for your entire stay. And all this will be your to enjoy when you chose option (G)
                "Oh, by the way..." All of my HATE

                Ou kata nomon = Not according to the accepted norm

                Comment


                • #9
                  What about secret option number c? Slam on the brakes and gas at the same time so it sounds like you're gunning it, but really stopping?
                  Ba'al: I'm a god. Gods are all-knowing.

                  http://unrelatedcaptions.com/45147

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                  • #10
                    Quoth Broomjockey
                    What about secret option number c? Slam on the brakes and gas at the same time so it sounds like you're gunning it, but really stopping?
                    Scaring people but actually doing no harm? You mad man. How dare you even consider such an atrocious idea. I fling shame upon you. Much shame, indeed.
                    "Oh, by the way..." All of my HATE

                    Ou kata nomon = Not according to the accepted norm

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Your reward for that one is higher service costs for your car.
                      Seshat's self-help guide:
                      1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
                      2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
                      3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
                      4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

                      "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

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                      • #12
                        Slight threadjack, but what should the punishment be for driving while wearing in ear headphones?
                        What if Humans are just Dire Halflings?

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Just goes to show.. spoiled students and their road rage driving ways.. sounds like the only class they really have is the one they show up to... that is, if they show up..
                          Fixing problems... one broken customer at a time.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            What about (D) Slam on the gas, tires squealing, attempt to run over as many pedestrians as possible while laughing maniacilly. Remember 10 points for every hit.
                            yay for Death Race 2000...?

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I had someone just a couple weeks ago do option (B). I kept walking into the crosswalk and smacked the side of their SUV with my hand loud enough that I know they heard it. They stopped further up, and I got the feeling they were trying to decide if they should come say something to me about it.

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