I'm coming out...

[Mishi]

Good luck! I hope everything goes well. *hugs*

[Jester]

Well? What happened? Inquiring minds want to know!

[smileyeagle1021]

Hope it went well

and now I have Diana Ross stuck in my head

[Pixilated]

Late good wishes here also. Hope all went well.

[iPanda]

Aw man,I can't imagine how it'll go since I don't know you or your mom but good luck.

[dragon_wings]

Just stopped by the to leave you some *hugs*. I hope it went well.

[LewisLegion]

Sorry I didn't post up sooner. Been a crazy weekend.

Thank you everyone for your well-wishes and support.

For the most part, everything went well. Dad and I took Mom upstairs to her room to talk to her, and my friends stayed downstairs with my stepdad and sisters (and their boyfriends) and told them. I did really well up until we got into the bedroom, then I started getting teary. Took me a minute to get the words out, and I could see my Dad biting his tongue so he didn't say them.

All in all, she seemed to take it well. She APPEARED to take it much better than I know she actually did. She said she loved me and gave me a hug (that's when Dad started crying). I think she was schooling her response a little because she didn't want to upset me even more or make it seem like she was rejecting me or unaccepting, but I could tell she was a bit tense. She actually got more visibly upset at the idea that I might move to Australia in a few years.

So, on the whole, I know this is something she's going to have to work through but I know that she will, and regardless of whether or not she ever truly understands it, I know she's going to love and support me.

We talked a while, I told her a small amount about my girl, answered a couple of questions, and then we went downstairs.

Meanwhile, my friends had told the others and handed out my letters. When I got downstairs, no one acted like anything had happened at all. My Mom was notably a bit quiet and introverted but there weren't any hugs and no one made a point to come talk to me or ask me anything, just acted as if everything was normal.

Mom brought down some old pictures she had found because she was looking for one in particular, and we were helping her sort through them. As we were looking through them she seemed to relax a bit and open up and get back to her normal self. I think seeing the pics of me as a kid (always in boys clothes, in the pics I was in a dress I always looked pissed or miserable, even as a toddler) and I think as she looked at them a few things fell into place.

Anyway, she texted me the next day to tell me she loved me again. I know she's going to struggle with a bit of this for a while (she's very religious) but just knowing she's not angry or going to throw me out of the family is a huge relief.

As for the rest of the family that was there that night, my friends filled me in on the way home about what had happened. Apparently, my younger sister's fiance- immediatley after they were told- looked at my sister and said 'see, I told you!'

My sisters and their SOs were just fine with it. I got texts later that night saying that they loved me and that they were proud of me for speaking up and that they didn't say anything after we came downstairs because they didn't want to make me more uncomfortable, which I can understand.

My stepfather got a bit angry, apparently. My friend had to take him out of the room and talk to him. Apparently, my stepdad is one of those that thinks this is something caused by abuse, and he even said 'for her to decide this means something must have happened to her'. My friend had to point out that it wasn't a decision, and certainly wasn't a decision a five year old was capable of understanding enough to make, that nothing had happened to me, and that 'even if it did, what does it matter? She's happy'.

So I have a feeling I'm going to have to talk to him a bit and help him understand this isn't an abuse or a 'decision' matter.

So, that as how Sunday went. Felt pretty much just wrung out from the whole ordeal. Dad left early, and I had given him permission to tell others, as Mom was the only one I had wanted to tell face to face and now I didn't care who knew.

A couple hours after he left, my older sister A called. A few things she said on the call made me suspect that she knew...for example:

Her: I hear C and K and their boyfriends are there.
Me: Yeah.
Her: How does that work? How is it that our younger sisters all have boyfriends and you and I don't have any? How is that fair?

Vague enough it could just be coincidence, but I thought she also might be fishing for me to tell her myself. I really wasn't up for talking about it all over again and so I didn't say anything. I found out the next morning that she had, in fact, not known at that point, and that Dad got ahold of her right after she hung up with me to tell her.

Dad called me the next morning to let me know he'd talked to four of my other sisters, J, E, S and A. He'd also told my stepmother and his mother, Grandma S.

Stepmom basically said 'Oh. Well, ok.'

J was fine with it and later texted me that she loved me, which was good considering she's an extremely devout Witness.

E supposedly said 'Well, it's about time!'

S supposedly said, 'ok, whatever'

He hadn't gotten hold of my last sister C at that point, but a few hours later she posted something on facebook that suggested to me that he got hold of her and that she was fine with it. I can't access the exact post right now, but it was something 'general' about living your life and being happy and not accepting the boundaries and limitations that other people put on you.

Then...there's A. I seems when he told A she flipped her lid and got really angry. She was apparently mad not only at the situation, but she was also mad at Mom because Mom had reacted as well as she did...apparently, she felt that Mom should have gotten angry at me as well. She told him that she and I have been having a rivalry since we were kids over Mom, I think...I'm not sure, because if we've been having a rivalry since we were kids, this is something new to me. I was unaware of any rivalry and I'm a bit flabbergasted as to what she means.

She told him she didn't want her kids to know. He told her that he wouldn't tell them if that's what she wanted, and would ask everyone else not to tell them, but if she thought they weren't going to eventually find out then she was being extremely unrealistic, that they would inevitably find out. She asked him why and he told her 'Facebook, for one'.

She said, 'She's going to put this on Facebook??'

He told her no, I had no plans to put it on Facebook, but someone eventually will mention it, since now all my friends and family know. It's not a secret.

So she got pissed at that. Honestly, I don't know what she thinks she's shielding her kids from. They're 20, 17, and 13. Heck, the 17 year old is in theatre, for crying out loud...I guarantee you, at least half of her circle of theatre friends are gay.

But yeah...anyway. That's how it went. Given my absolutely huge family having only one negative reaction is incredible. I really am blessed to have the people in my life that I do, and if my older sister doesn't come around well...her problem is just that. HER problem. I'm not hiding anymore, and certainly not just because she doesn't want to have a conversation with her ADULT children.

[AmbrosiaWriter]

I'm so happy for you! It's so great that the vast majority of your family are completely accepting, though there are a few confused and one just...

I think A's response to "competition" is that she thinks you're saying you're gay to get your mother's attention focused on you, but just ignore that. It's not worth fretting over when she's the one being a brat.

I'm so glad that your mother, although not 100% okay, is going to work through her feelings and will support you in this. It's not something that happens all the time, I'm so relieved that it happened for you.

You have a good mindset on how to handle this from here on out, keep to it, and be happy. ^_^

[Jester]

She told him that she and I have been having a rivalry since we were kids over Mom, I think...I'm not sure, because if we've been having a rivalry since we were kids, this is something new to me. I was unaware of any rivalry and I'm a bit flabbergasted as to what she means.

My little sister and I have had an ongoing sibling rivalry forever. Unfortunately, she's the only one who's ever participated in it.

...if my older sister doesn't come around well...her problem is just that. HER problem.

Precisely. Ditto your stepfather, though it sounds like he will eventually come to grips with it. Hopefully, anyway.

[malmalthekiller]

It sounds like everything went better than you had hoped, but you know that you can't change people's minds. All you can do is live your life and keep those that love you close to you.