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Of castles, skulls, and autographs

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  • Of castles, skulls, and autographs

    Freshly back from a trip around Prague with Eireann and a chum of mine from this country.

    There are tales to tell. Let's just say I ended up on a stage and had someone beg for an autograph in the subway afterwards.

    This is going to be a tale long in the composing. That will begun tomorrow. Ish.

    Rapscallion

  • #2
    Sounds like a worthwhile read. Looking forward to the posts.
    That is so full of suck Dyson doesn't know how they did it - shankyknitter

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    • #3
      I await with bated breath.
      Driver Picks the Music, Shotgun Shuts His Cakehole.
      Supernatural 9-13-05 to forever

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      • #4
        Whereas I, who had seafood for lunch, await with baited breath.

        "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
        Still A Customer."

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        • #5
          Quoth Rapscallion View Post
          Freshly back from a trip around Prague with Eireann and a chum of mine from this country.
          Sounds like fun! I hope you got (and will post) some good pictures, too.
          I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
          My LiveJournal
          A page we can all agree with!

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          • #6
            Flew into Prague on Monday. We were significantly impressed by the sheer size of the apartment, it has to be said. Granted, it was in the roof and had the slight drawback of sun in the face from the skylights when the dawn broke, but that was Cab's room and not mine. Food and bathing occurred and it was the next day, somehow.

            We met Eireann and, without much debate, buggered off to a rather good Thai massage place we've used on more than one occasion, the Nam Jai. For those curious, this is a genuine massage place, not a rub and tug joint. There are plenty of those around, but this narrative shall not touch upon them save briefly. Anyway, we got beaten up and tortured by the best and I felt great. I cannot say the same for my companions, but I felt sodding great. Best night's sleep I've had in a while.

            Food was declared and we made plans. We headed for the exhibit of Mucha's Slav Epic - twenty paintings of 'bloody hell that's big' size of particularly good quality. This gives a fair representation of what you can see in that exhibit.

            After this, a jolly evening's entertainment was had at another black light theatre group (we'd seen two on two prior occasions) at the Image group. We saw the Black Box presentation, and they do it slightly differently to other presentations we've seen before. Others have just black light situations most of the time, but this group had comedy interludes between the artistic stuff. They even had some audience participation in there, which should have been a warning.

            With our still-slightly-glistening bodies prepared for the rigours of a night's sleep, we readied ourselves for the next day - aka Wednesday. On the way to our apartment, before Cab had worked out a better route, we took a street I affectionately had nicknamed 'Porn Alley' due to the presence of two thinly disguised brothels facing each other on it. On an evening there are exhortations from chaps outside about the qualities of the ladies within, with desperate pleas for us to sample the wares. Had Eireann been with us we would have been unmolested, but...

            I hooked a thumb at Cab and said, "I've sucked him dry already." We kept walking. They moved out of our way and fell silent.

            I'm a bastard at times.

            So, Wednesday arrived and we headed to Kutna Hora. Once it was the mint of the Czech Republic as it was home to a rather natty silver mine. Now it's more famous for it's notable ossuary. For those not familiar with the term, it's a load of bones in piles in a church's basement.

            Back in the day, the Black Plague swept through the area and left roughly thirty thousand corpses, and due to restrictions on what could be done with bodies, they had to get creative. We were on our way out of the train station when we met Dot. Dot's a rather engaging young lady who is spending a few weeks travelling around Europe between her studies in the US. Headed for law school next, apparently.

            We repasted at a nearby hostelry at a rather reasonable cost for four meals and then headed in to the church and ossuary. I said they had to get creative.

            How about a chandelier made of human bones? A coat of arms? A sodding huge pile? Festooned around the ceiling? Yup, they had it all. The link is to my Facebook album of that visit. It was oddly not creepy or ghoulish, but very, very interesting.

            After that, of course, we found an amusement park and rested there, sating our thirst and desire for ice cream. It was bloody hot, and the all-weather toboggan was more than a little amusing. We ave Dot some advice from our aged years as to where was good to go, and I even passed on a business card of a tour guide we'd gone with in Italy.

            We went back to Prague with Dot and gave her a hand in getting her stuff to her train, then off we went for more food and the same black light company. They do a different show every night, and I'd forgotten the golden rule. Don't risk audience participation.

            More to follow.

            Rapscallion
            Last edited by Rapscallion; 07-01-2012, 11:06 PM. Reason: Getting the figures right ~R

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            • #7
              The show was bloody good once more. As with the previous night, it was a packed house with many tour groups bringing in many large numbers of patrons of various nationalities.

              The performance started once more with an exhortation to the audience in mime to not use recording devices or phones during the performance. It was first mimed to a recording in Czech, which we all understood from what he was doing. It was repeated in English, with a very laid back mime to it.

              Then it was repeated in German, and it made me cringe with how it could delicately be described as 'culturally offensive'. The entire row behind us was filled with German tourists. As he made stern faces and strict nodding motions, they laughed the most of all of us. I was able to breathe again.

              So, the performance was Africania (however they spelled it). The dance parts were elegant and fluid, and very reminiscent of the animals they portrayed, and the comic elements were fuelled by a couple apparently on holiday in Africa and the wife becoming more than interested in the local postman. He managed to escape her after some offstage cardio, and then managed to get an audience member roped in to being her next paramour.

              Me. Sodding great. Looking back, this was the highlight of the trip for me, I reckon. I'd had a blast during the day, but that was incredible. I was frozen most of the time on stage and following whispered directions, but that was fun!

              I was dragged on by the flirtatious and unfaithful wife, and she had these really big, expressive ... eyes. She sat me down on a wicker chair that creaked loudly under my weight, for extra entertainment. Hey, even I found it funny, though I sat gingerly. I'm unused to a woman showing apparent interest in me, so I spent a lot of time in panic mode. Eventually the outraged husband was no longer distracted by his round of golf and chased us off stage into the wings.

              That was fascinating for me. During all these black light theatre visits, the actors and dancers seemed to be so elegant and dedicated to being graceful. From the wings, where Lenka the actress (?) guided me, I could see them chatting away without breaking stride, and where none of the audience could see or hear them. Fascinating. Disturbingly competent.

              I was dragged back out on stage a couple of times and had to balance a plastic pineapple on my head for the outraged husband to aim at with his golf ball. Harder than it looks, I can assure you. Let me assure you that I'm not usually at the mercy of cuckolded husbands, but any port in a storm.

              I won't spoil what happened next, but I will say that the actors went into slow motion with wonderful levels of skill and the pineapple went flying shortly thereafter. I was encouraged (and glad) to make my escape back to the seats, where I began to regain a normal pulse.

              Fantastic experience. However, they dragged me back on stage for a bow and a round of applause. The actress with the expressive eyes was phenomenal. As soon as she was in sight of the audience, she went into ditzy blonde mode, but in the wings was all business.

              The best was yet to come. We left the theatre, still buzzing, and headed for the metro to head our various ways. Three young ladies who had been in the audience came to me with eyes bright and arms linked, wanting my autograph.

              The hell?

              They were serious. I signed it, "To my biggest fans, Rapscallion", but it took a little persuading to persuade them that I was just an audience member like them.

              Nice to be famous for a little while. I'm sure Eireann can add more.

              Rapscallion

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              • #8
                I'm still pretty sure that Rapscallion's metro fans still believe he WAS part of the show.

                A good - very good, as a matter of fact - dance number took place while he was standing in the wings, while we wondered whether he'd come back during the performance, or after it.

                And, yes, the lead actress did bring him back for a bow at the end of the show.

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                • #9
                  Quoth Jester View Post
                  Whereas I, who had seafood for lunch, await with baited breath.
                  groan.

                  Raps, sounds like you had a great time. Too bad we don't have video of your blacklight theater performance.
                  Don't wanna; not gonna.

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                  • #10
                    No photos or recordings are allowed, for copyright reasons. Which makes sense.

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                    • #11
                      Must admit, it does make sense, but I'd have paid reasonable money had those bits with me been filmed and put on DVD.

                      Wouldn't have minded seeing the bits I semi-missed whilst in the wings, but I saw enough from far closer than anyone else did.

                      Rapscallion

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                      • #12
                        The theatre group looks brilliant! Although they haven't been to the UK yet, maybe they will in the future...guess I'll have to keep an eye on it.
                        I speak English, L33t, Sarcasm and basic Idiot.

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                        • #13
                          I must be tired, because the very first thing I thought when reading the title of the thread was that Raps had met He-Man and the Masters of the Universe. And gotten an autograph.

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                          • #14
                            Thursday saw us at Karlstein Castle. We didn't rush ourselves, having been there before. A fairly painless train journey later, we had to fight off a taxi driver outside the train station as we wandered off castleward. There's an entire habitation that used to be for people who supported the castle, but now is festooned with gift shops that are supported by the presence of the castle. There's a restaurant at the bottom of the valley near the river where we ate, and while the food was sort of so-so, the ambience was fantastic. Shortly after we ordered, roughly fifty tourists turned up. Always plan your meals before fifty tourists arrive and order theirs. Advice for life.

                            When we went before, it was distinctly winter. The place was far more inviting in the summer, and it was originally intended as a summer residence. Within there were crenellations as far as the eye could see, and without there was chlorophyll as far as the eye could see. Probably the other eye. Stunning scenery. Eireann made friends with a horse on the way up, as we paid to be lazy and to go up in a horse and cart affair. However, the driver made us worried by slapping at the balls of a stallion on another cart after having seen a dubious insect around there. I have no idea why he managed to see that so easily.

                            We took a tour that wasn't particularly hugely attended, but it had the obligatory bored boyfriend, while his partner was listening in fascination. I suspect it was the history version of watching a chick flick.

                            I dutifully bought some tat, though this was high quality tat. Eireann discovered that royal chocolate tastes rather like wax. We wandered the battlements, pondering on how a few dozen archers could really make a mess of an attacking force, and we baked in the glorious sunshine. SPF50 was daubed everywhere the sun could shine, and we made the most of it. Fantastic place. Heartily recommend it.

                            Other than that, we sort of plodded along and Eireann and I met up with a Slovak friend of hers called Josef. He has some of the most unusual tales you will ever hear, and he was blatantly telling the truth in them. That's the scary bit.

                            The day after, Cab and I mooched around until it was time to head to the airport, though given that we couldn't be bothered getting out of bed until late o'clock this wasn't a problem. We nommed at a Hooters and got to the airport in plenty of time, only to have over two hours of delays due to some half-inching tosser nick someone else's iPhone and bugger up all the fun.

                            However, in the airport I did manage to continue my dream of forcing my corpulent and furry torso into the hands of yet another massage artist (this one based on the airport), so I can tick this one off my list.

                            I may remember more. I need to put up more photos.

                            Rapscallion

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