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I'm Afraid we Can't do That, SC.

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  • I'm Afraid we Can't do That, SC.

    Didn't happen to me, happened to Eugene, but I was standing right next to him when it did, so it might as well have been me.

    To give you all the nessecarry background, this car got yanked from a marked "15 minute zone" with a cold engine, and the following didn't take place until at least another 30 minutes went by......

    - I'm looking for a black chevy, towed from in front of My Apartment

    - Black Cavalier? Yes, we have one, towed from the 15 minute zone for exceeding the limit.

    -What? That's ridiculous! I was just dropping some stuff off!

    -Well, you went over your limit, and you don't have a permit for that lot either.

    -Look, just call (Owner), okay? He knows me, he can get this fixed

    -Uh, there is no "fixed" here, you either pay $115 or you don't get your car back

    -No, just call (Owner), tell him "Guy" needs his car back.

    -Can't do that, (Owner) isn't even here now.

    -Well, call him!

    -I don't even know his number or where he might be. if you know him so well, you call him and have him call me.

    -Well, I don't know his number either!

    -You're out of luck then. It's $115 to get the car back, and any issues with that will have to be dealt with by the towing manager, he'll be in tomorrow morning.

    -So you won't accept partial payment? Cash?

    -No, I can't release this vehicle until I get $115.

    -I don't HAVE that kind of money! I just put down $800 in rent today, I'm broke
    the rest of the month! That's why you need to call (Owner) and tell him this is all a big mistake!

    -No Sir, I can't do that, and if you can't pay $115, talk to the towing manager in the morning about alternate methods.

    -How about I just come down there and TAKE my car? Huh?

    -It's impounded, Sir, how are you going to do that?

    -I'm only two blocks away right now! I can just come down there and take it from you!

    -Uh huh, sure you can, you're welcome to try.

    -Look, I'll give you $50, and I promise, I'll pay the rest later, (Owner) can vouch for me!

    -No Sir, I can't do that, $115 or talk to my manger in the morning.

    -I already told you I can't pay that!

    -Well, then you don't get your car back, it's $115 to release.

    -Look, just, just put someone on the phone who speaks ENGLISH!

    -Excuse me?! Sir?! How's THIS for English- PAY.....$115..... OR..... NO......CAR!

    -How about you put someone on who's not a ROBOT?!

    - No *CLICK*

    That's where Eugene made his only mistake, I would have, in as stilted and mechanical voice I could have managed, replied:

    NEGATIVE, UNABLE TO COMPLY WITH ILLOGICAL REQUEST, FOOLISH HUMAN

    I also kinda wished this guy had made this call about 3 years back, when he demanded to talk to someone who "spoke English" I would've just handed the phone to Cal, a driver we used to have.

    Why?

    Cal's nickname? "Boomhauer"

    And he EARNED that name for a good reason.


    Anyway, that wasn't the end of the story for our intrepid hero. Oh no. Even though his argument got nowhere, he made good on the suggestion to talk to the towing manager in the morning.

    He called him up and spun the same BS story: I'm broke, and good friends with (Owner) so how about a break?

    Manager says no.

    Guy calls back about an hour later and demands the same thing.

    Manager says no again.

    Guy calls back again.

    Manager says no again.

    Guy calls back again, and informs manager that he'll just keep calling until he either gets a break or gets to talk to (Owner).

    Towing manager informs him that if he calls back again, for any reason, manager is going to hang up, and his next call will be to the police, for harassment.

    Guy eventually gets a ride in, from his girlfriend it looks like, and paid, full, for the car.

    Tough Guy Syndrome (tm), sad when it reaches end stage untreated like that, isn't it?
    - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

  • #2
    Wait. There are still Chevy Cavaliers on the road? The car itself can't be worth more than $115. He should have left it there and moved on with his life.

    Comment


    • #3
      Quoth Argabarga View Post
      -How about you put someone on who's not a ROBOT?!
      (Our Friend The) Computer says "No."
      PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

      There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

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      • #4
        Quoth Argabarga View Post
        -How about you put someone on who's not a ROBOT?!
        Bite my shiny metal ass!
        To right the countless wrongs of our days... We shine this light of true redemption, that this place may become as paradise...Oh, what a wonderful world such would be...

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        • #5
          Quoth Mr Hero View Post
          Bite my shiny metal ass!
          MEATBAGS!
          - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth Jay 2K Winger View Post
            (Our Friend The) Computer says "No."
            The car's owner does not obey Friend Computer. He must be a Communist. Please have him report for summary termination. Prepare to activate his next clone...
            "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
            "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
            "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
            "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
            "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
            "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
            Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
            "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth Argabarga View Post
              Cal's nickname? "Boomhauer"
              For those who don't know, Boomhauer was a character on the animated KING OF THE HILL. He was famous for mumbling _everything_ and you couldn't understand a single word he said the entire series!

              Comment


              • #8
                Not just mumbling, mumbling at high speeds, so anything you can hear is moving too fast to catch.
                Low lie the Fields of Athenry/ Where once we watched the small free birds fly/ Our love was on the wing/ we had dreams and songs to sing/ It's so lonely around the Fields of Athenry

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                • #9
                  Look I'm not arguing with you any more! Open the garage bay doors, HAL.

                  I'm sorry, SC. I'm afraid I can't do that. This conversation can serve no further purpose. Good-bye.
                  Last edited by IT Grunt; 05-07-2014, 08:33 PM.
                  A fact of life: After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says W T F.....

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                  • #10
                    Quoth Argabarga View Post
                    Cal's nickname? "Boomhauer"
                    When King of the Hill first debuted, a coworker and I were joking about how we both could understand Boomhauer and what did that say about us and our relatives.
                    Labor boards have info on local laws for free
                    HR believes the first person in the door
                    Learn how to go over whackamole bosses' heads safely
                    Document everything
                    CS proves Dunning-Kruger effect

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                    • #11
                      I'll just leave this dang ol thing here just in case anybody needs a reference or refresher man I tell you what.
                      Supporting the idiots charged with protecting your personal information.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Perhaps the scariest thing was, Cal had blonde hair too, about the only thing that's different is he wore glasses. Other than that........

                        It was the same guy, I tellyouwhutman.
                        - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

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                        • #13
                          Quoth eltf177 View Post
                          For those who don't know, Boomhauer was a character on the animated KING OF THE HILL. He was famous for mumbling _everything_ and you couldn't understand a single word he said the entire series!

                          I work with his twin brother, whom we affectionately call "Butt-Head."

                          Can't understand a thing he says most of the time - I'll have to ask him at least twice to repeat it.

                          Most I can make out on the first try is "But I'm cute."
                          Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

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                          • #14
                            Boomhauer's sister works in my company cafeteria.

                            Seriously, nice girl, does a good job and all, but I can't understand 9/10ths of what she says. I just grin and say things like, "yeah, really."
                            When you start at zero, everything's progress.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Quoth Shyla View Post
                              Wait. There are still Chevy Cavaliers on the road? The car itself can't be worth more than $115. He should have left it there and moved on with his life.
                              Yes there is. I own a 98'. Love that car. I hope it makes it to 20 years. The body might rust out first, though.
                              "Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid" Redd Foxx as Al Royal - The Royal Family - Pilot Episode - 1991.

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