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The knife after the gun fight

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  • The knife after the gun fight

    So advanced flea gets the gun and I get the stabbity stick.

    Neat.

    So this *long string of expletives* kid goes to the Sorry store upstairs, sees a 4.99$ 8" knife and thinks HEY I'M GONNA SHOPLIFT THIS GIANT SLICY ITEM.

    Takes it, goes outside, removes the packaging and slips the knife in his *long string of expletives* pants because his backpack is currently stationed at Beacon.

    So our wonderful stand-in security who puts asparaguseseses to shame who saw him do it decides that instead of calling the *shorter string of expletives* cops, he's going to follow him and GUILT HIM into returning the knife.

    SOWAITLEMMEGETTHISSTRAIGHT You saw a teenager steal a legit giant knife, he's carrying it in his pants, roaming the mall freely and you're going to go stalker on him until he feels uncomfortable enough to return the knife?

    Oh, he did end up calling someone. The boy's mother.

    "But Shiro, why didn't YOU call the cops?"

    Security only gave me the description of the kid AFTER his mother picked him up (with picture), and after that, told me the kid stole a knife.

    While the kid was roaming, all I knew was to keep an eye out for him cuz he had stolen something upstairs.

    Bonus point, the kid went back the next day to Sorry to return the knife... and blamed his girl-friend for the theft. BALLS-LESS.

    You know guys, sometimes I re-read myself and even I doubt the truth in my posts.

    My work life is outlandish. Gawd.
    Now would be a good time to visit So Very Unofficial!

    "I've had so many nasty customers this week, my bottomless pit is now ankle-deep."-Me.

  • #2
    I half expected this to end in, "We got a bleeder here!"
    Supporting the idiots charged with protecting your personal information.

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    • #3
      Quoth Shironu-Akaineko View Post
      ...
      Takes it, goes outside, removes the packaging and slips the knife in his *long string of expletives* pants because his backpack is currently stationed at Beacon.
      ...
      Bonus point, the kid went back the next day to Sorry to return the knife... and blamed his girl-friend for the theft. BALLS-LESS.
      ...
      Maybe the knife cut them off when he stuck it in his pants.
      "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

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      • #4
        Quoth Ironclad Alibi View Post
        Maybe the knife cut them off when he stuck it in his pants.
        Would have been a minor wound in that case.
        When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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        • #5
          There's a lot of fail here on all sides...

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          • #6
            Quoth MoonCat View Post
            Would have been a minor wound in that case.
            But a major coup for humanity.
            Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

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            • #7
              Sound like the dipshit who tried to Mug me one night when I was walking home from town. This is in my punk-ier days when I had an 8" mohawk, patched up vest, big honking wallet chain, ripped jeans and s**t-kicker boots. Not exactly screaming 'easy target'.

              Anyone, Brainiac gets out of the car and asks me 'bro go a light?'
              Internal Monolog: Hmm gets out of a car which would have a cig lighter and asks for a light
              Me: (continues walking away) Nah bro, don't smoke
              B: (hand now under the front of his shirt, approx 1 inch to the left of where his nuts would be) Well give me your wallet or I'll stab you!
              Me: Your keeping a knife right by your nuts? Your a f**king idiot.
              B: F**K YOU (starts towards me)
              Me: (runs - I didnt know what his buddies might have in the car).
              How ever do they manage to breathe for themselves without having to call tech support? - Argabarga

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              • #8
                If I see a knife lifted I don't make the stop, I contact the police, immediately,who then slam the guy into the wall. It's safer and it fun to watch the long rod of the law work in your favor. Had two young men cut open hunting knifes with razors and have two large officers arrest them. The nitwits had even managed to slice their hands open cutting into the knifes packaging.

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