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The ballad of Gas Can Guy (language)

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  • The ballad of Gas Can Guy (language)

    Settle in kids this might be a long one.

    So a bit of back ground I work in a gas station in a less than good area in a city in the Midwest us. I'm the assistant manager and one of two over night clerks. So I deal with all the drunks, freaks, creaps, and drug addicts. Those are 99.99% of the customers I see. Been doing this for two years so I know just about everyone that comes in on my shift.

    The ballad of Gas Can Guy begins summer of '13, when he begins pan handling out in front of our store and we start having to run him of two to three times a day. This an minor issue he's one of several but by far the worst offender.

    This goes on for two months or so until he manages to con some good sumaritian into buying him a gas can from us, with a sob story about how his car ran out of gas and he only have five dollar to his name and he has to go pick up his mom from cemo. Five minutes after the gas can is bought he enters and tries to return in. With no receipt.

    No dice both me and my manager (after this he shall be referred to as W) tell him no receipt nor refund. Here tries for a couple days on all shifts with no luck. Then he goes back to his old habits.

    This continues until winter hints and Gas Can Guy vanishes. Off to jail apparently.

    I think he's gone for good until he returns this spring and begins again. Well I'm not having it and run him off before he even starts every night.

    Now Gas Can Guy messed up yesterday morning I catch him shoplifting a 1.79$ Butterfinger king sized candy bar. I confront Jim in the following exchange.

    Me: Hey you wanna pay for the Butterfinger you've got in your pocket?

    Gcg; Man I don't have anything in my pocket, bitch.

    Me; Are you sure? Because when I go look at video and it there I will be calling the cops.

    Gcg: Then call the cops!

    And he leaves and gets into a car whose plate I have issues getting. So I review video sure enough he stuffed the candy bar in his pocket so I call the cops and have all the information ready for them when they get here.

    They leave and I finish our my shift.

    Fast forward to tonight. The car he got into comes back with the same female driver. I make her come inside and prepay for gas. She cops an attitude them complains about how I was looking at her car the night before. I tell her flat out it was because the guy that got into her passenger side seat had stolen a candy bar and I was trying to get her plates for the cops when I called them. She throws her money on the counter and storms out. While she's pumping her gas I go outside light a cigarette and get her plates.

    Which I then turn into the cops. They go to her house to ask her about her sticky fingered shout gun rider. Come to find out she's his mom. Officers return show me a picture I tell them that is in fact Gas Can Guy, they give me his full name for the paper work to ban him.

    It gets better they also tell me he has several warrants and they would really like to speak with him.

    Thus ends the ballad of Gas Can Guy. Far thee well you douche.
    Last edited by EricKei; 06-06-2014, 09:44 PM. Reason: Removed inappropriate comment

  • #2
    I see that ploy fairly frequently around here. Had one last night at Wally World, in fact. But this guy takes it to a new level of dickishness.
    "If your day is filled with firefighting, you need to start taking the matches away from the toddlers…” - HM

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    • #3
      When they disappear in winter they usually are in jail, where it's warm and they have food.

      Nice pwnage there!
      They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

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      • #4
        From reading the title, I expected to see someone pulling the scam that made it's rounds in the Milwaukee suburbs. Panhandler in question had a gas can, a set of keys, and no money. He'd wait by a gas station until he found someone to con into buying him some gas, then walk down the street offering to sell the gas he'd just been given.

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        • #5
          Quoth BearLeeBadenaugh View Post
          From reading the title, I expected to see someone pulling the scam that made it's rounds in the Milwaukee suburbs. Panhandler in question had a gas can, a set of keys, and no money. He'd wait by a gas station until he found someone to con into buying him some gas, then walk down the street offering to sell the gas he'd just been given.
          Gas Can Man wasn't smart enough to run this scam, apparently.
          They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

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          • #6
            Quoth Sapphire Silk View Post
            Gas Can Man wasn't smart enough to run this scam, apparently.
            Few scammers are, Sapphire.
            I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my keister!

            Who is John Galt?
            -Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

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            • #7
              For some reason, I read the thread title as Trashcan Man.

              Bumpty-bumpty-bump!

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              • #8
                Now you've made me want to read that massive book again

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                • #9
                  We have one of those at my store, I heard some employees talking about him a while ago. They saw him over at a mall shopping and he got in a new Mercedes when he left.
                  "First time I ever seen a chainsaw go down anybody's britches,"

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