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  • quit my voluntary role yesterday

    Background: for the last 2.5 years i have been a Sunday school teacher. i love the job, and has been enough to inspire me to go and study a short 6 month course in early childhood education - but not enough to work in the industry

    i was forced on Sunday to hand my resignation for this unpaid role due to the following reasons:

    the cast of characters involved:

    CJ - Me (coming to the end of a 6 month training course dealing in how to look after kids)

    PK - Pastor's Kid. she's about 10 and thinks she has run of the place due to her father being the campus pastor

    KP - Kid's pastor. KP is nice but really doesn't have a clue. PK runs rings around her.


    this story starts about 1 hour before sunday morning service. the rules say NO children are allowed in the kids church room until 9:15 am - about 45 mins away. however PK ignores this rule and has for so long she may as well have carte blanche.

    so PK comes into the room and has a rubber handball - it's basically a tennis ball sized squash ball. she proceeds to HURL this at me as i am sitting down, waiting for KP to come into the room. she misses every time. i am facebooking on my phone when all of sudden i get hit in the face with a hula hoop she thew at me. i got up and told PK to leave the room, and if this was within children's church time she would have been ejected straight off. (we normally give 2 warnings than ejection - which involves the parent having to leave church, come down, pick up the child and take them away)

    PK wisely disappears and comes back once kids church starts. the big game we have is handball. i get involved, play with the kids and have some fun as well as supervising. i come in to play and PK says she will not let us play with her ball as long as i play. this is a big NO No as one of the rules is we don't pick on people (i'm 33 and can handle myself, but in my experience you need to nip this stuff in the bud or it gets worse and worse) so i give PK her first warning.


    a bit later on i see PK running in and out the doors. this is also a no no as we have no viability of children when they go out the door. i go to PK and tell her to stay in the room. 20 seconds later i look and PK is no where to be seen. i look out the door and yep there she is. i yell down the hallway "that's 2" as in 2 warnings.

    KP than comes in (she was dealing with welcoming and signing children into the programme which is done away from the room i was in)

    KP asked what the issue was and i went through the above points (all whilst PK is still outside, listening to what i'm saying and interrupting)

    KP told me that PK has figured out "how to push my buttons" and if i have any issues i should tell my co-worker rather than actually, you know follow the rules.
    this irked me as i have as i said before studied how to look after children in a professional environment.
    it was than i made the decision to stand down as a kids church teacher. i don;t like being neutered on discipline matters, and IMHO PK wasn't a PK she would have been ejeted ages ago.

    i sent a nice email after church to KP saying in light of whats happened i have made the decision to step down. and i feel so much better now
    The mere fact that we have the flamethrower means that someone, somewhere once said "You know, I'd really like to set those customers over there on fire, but don't possess the means to do it"

  • #2
    This is a real shame. And shame on the Pastor for not dealing with the situation properly.

    I hope your resignation leaves them in hot water, they deserve it!

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    • #3
      Is PK the Kid's Pastor's daughter or another Pastor's daughter? If she's another pastor's daughter, you should inform that pastor of her behavior. Children who throw things at people and disrespect authority make the parent look bad, and since the parent is the pastor of a church, it might reflect badly on the church as well.

      If she's Kid's Pastor's daughter, well, shame on KP for not following the rules or disciplining her child properly, and allowing the brat to run roughshod over a good volunteer.
      I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
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      • #4
        Quoth XCashier View Post
        Is PK the Kid's Pastor's daughter or another Pastor's daughter? If she's another pastor's daughter, you should inform that pastor of her behavior. Children who throw things at people and disrespect authority make the parent look bad, and since the parent is the pastor of a church, it might reflect badly on the church as well.
        she's another pastors child. i have noticed she only acts up this bad when her father is away. i am fairly sure that when her father gets back from the missions trip to africa he's on at the moment he'll want ot have a meeting with me and i'll lay it on the table.

        the campus pastor and i have known each pother for over 10 years and he even conducted my wedding so i'm not scared to lay the facts dpown in front of him
        The mere fact that we have the flamethrower means that someone, somewhere once said "You know, I'd really like to set those customers over there on fire, but don't possess the means to do it"

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        • #5
          Glad to hear this, the little brat needs a good "come to deity" talk about her behavior. The best outcome is she's made to publicly apologize in front of the entire congregation for her actions and you get your job back with her being warned in front of you that any repeat of her bad behavior is going to really get her in trouble!

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          • #6
            KP should not hold that position. KP is obviously incapable of handling it.

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            • #7
              With Dad out of town this sounds more like a cry for attention. But I agree you shouldn't have to tolerate this kind of behavior. Especially when the one who is supposed to deal with it won't.

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              • #8
                Can someone tell me how a child figuring out what an adult's buttons are means that doing said "button pushing" is suddenly okay?

                Is the behavior only not okay when someone else tells the child what the buttons are?
                My Writing Blog -Updated 05/06/2013
                It's so I can get ideas out of my head, I decided to put it in a blog in case people are bored or are curious as to the (many) things in progress.

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                • #9
                  as a former Sunday School teacher I know what's it like to have kids misbehave, but what should be done, is to have a talk with the pastor about his child or any other child's parents. Sounds to me like this Pastor's kid is ignoring the Romans 13 scripture about being obedient to the Authority over you...I've had the pleasure and pain of having to scold parents about how their children misbehave. I've been asked who do I think I am? I said the Assistant Sunday School teacher and if they want their Child in my class they should train their children on how to listen...

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                  • #10
                    in this context, it is implying that the kid has worked out how to irritate you without acting badly enough to warrant disciplinary action. It is, basically, telling OP to ignore it, and to tolerate the bad behavior.

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                    • #11
                      Quoth Teskeria View Post
                      KP should not hold that position. KP is obviously incapable of handling it.

                      this is an issue. KP's qualifications are in ministry, not childcare or education. the more i do my childcare study the more i see this

                      Quoth sstabeler View Post
                      in this context, it is implying that the kid has worked out how to irritate you without acting badly enough to warrant disciplinary action. It is, basically, telling OP to ignore it, and to tolerate the bad behavior.

                      which is the problem. when PK disobeys a direct instruction "stay in the room" then thats cause for discipline. i actually think KP is afraid of the PK's dad so doesn't actually want to eject PK from class for misbehaviour.
                      The mere fact that we have the flamethrower means that someone, somewhere once said "You know, I'd really like to set those customers over there on fire, but don't possess the means to do it"

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