Dear July,

[PaperKitty]

F- YOU, BUDDY!!!


let's just say July sucked..

Now that I am back from my break .. let's begin

* I got my bike stolen from the shop due to the increase of crackheads in the area because summer means FUN .. and lots of crack apparently. I hope he rides my bike down Magazine St. the wrong way and gets hit by a bus.

* I got my tips stolen off the counter when I took the trash out about a week later..
The real kicker is that this crackhead was WAITING in the shadows for me to walk to the dumpster ( not that far away) .. he zoomed in, snatched my tips and zoomed out.. I screamed a big "Thanks, F***head" .. then closed early and hid behind the counter.

Now, on to the SC portion of my returning rant-a-thon

"Uppity Americano"
Me: TaDA! Your favorite bitch barista is back!
SC: BOO! HISS!
LG: a friend of mine (awesome chick)

**Me and LG are talking while I am getting her food order together (2 bagels with swiss & tomato-easy) .. apparently, her boyfriend, who is also a close friend, is in the emergency room and she is rounding up eats/drinks to keep them satisfied (I waited 16 hours recently at the hospital for a bruised tendon, welcome to New Orleans!)**

SC: *Hurries in and stands behind LG*
**I say hi to the SC and finish listening to LG talk about what's going on**
SC: *exasperated* I just want a double Americano!
Me: Well, that's nice. I'll be able to get to you after I am finished with her order. *flash award winning, sweet as pie smile & eye twinkle*
Me(to LG): Do you need something else?
LG: Yea, I need two Large Iced Coffees..
Me: Sure!
SC: *HUFF PUFF* *GROAN* ..*walks away mumbling some crap about how I'm stupid*
Me: Why in the hell are you in THAT big of a hurry for an Americano at 10-frickin'-30? Aww hunny come back .. It's ok.. *muffled laughter*
LG: I'm glad she's gone .. can I get a shot of espresso in that iced coffee?



dun dun dun DUN!#@%$ METH HEAD! (or "why I now charge for water")

Me: xoxo
MethGirl: eWwww
Pimp/DrugDealer/shady ass dude: terrifying..

*methgirl walks in, obviously hyped up on the tweak because she is scratching her inverted, bony stomach to shreds and is nearly twitching..*

methgirl: can I get a glass of water
me: sure! *gets her a glass of water, water is free, the end*
methgirl: I would tip you but I only have two 20's (holds up wadded cash, stuffs it into her pockets) These pants are like a monster, it keeps eating the stuff I put in them..
me: *thinking* like your morals, self esteem, self worth, and personal cleansing habits?

I smile politely and methgirl leaves ..


UNTIL..

methgirl: *storming in* You didn't find no money huh?
me: what?
methgirl: I can't find my money *starts looking around the shop, not that big of a place*
me: no, I didn't find anything. You stuck your money in your pocket before you left.. remember? monster pants?
methgirl: *blank stare*
Pimp/DrugDealer: *strolls in* You found it?
methgirl: she said she didn't find anything.
me: *scared*
Pimp/DrugDealer: Can I get a glass of water?
Me: sure *gets a cup..puts in ice.. WHA? WAIT? Is that the destinctive sound of change shifting around my FRICKIN' TIP JAR?!*
** I spin around and behold! pimp/drugdealer is looking in my jar for methgirl's money**
me: excuse me, but I would like it if you kept your hands off my jar.
pimp/drugdealer: it's no big thing, i'm just looking.
me: dude, f--- that. no! *stinkeye*
*I give him the glass of water and they leave*

UNTIL...

The doors are closed and I am mopping up the shop, a friend of mine is sitting at a table outside smoking, chatting on the phone when ..
RETURN OF THE METHGIRL!!

She creeps up, darkening my door, looking down at the freshly mopped floor before her.. stretching a dirty sneaker towards the floor ..
me: We are closed. Please leave.
Methgirl: *steps back into doorway* Did you find any money?
me: No .. no I did not.
Methgirl: did you check the bathroom?
me: yes, it was empty and besides, you didn't go into the bathroom.... remember?
methgirl: oh, ok. *leaves*

UNTIL....

My friend comes inside and says
friend: hey, I'm going to wait here with you and bring you home.
me: That's nice and all, but I live a block away ..
friend: yea, but methgirl is circling the block and parking in the middle of the street watching the shop.. she's waiting for you to leave..
me: wtf? are you serious? *contemplate if I can take down a drug addled stick figure*
friend: yea.. she's waiting to get brave and do something stupid.

sum it up : he brought me home and I never saw her again.


I have so much more, but can't put it all in one post ...

coming up soon ..
"Imaginary iced hibiscus tea"
"The PLAGUE"
"When sandwich time ends"
"Hot chai .. and the burns it leaves"

and many more..

stay tuned!




xoxo - Pk <3

[Andara Bledin]

Yikes.

I like my ghetto better than yours....

^-.-^

[Nekojin]

Yikes.

I like my ghetto better than yours....

Yeah, no kidding. Our ghetto only has a few loud, bitchy women who fight at the drop of a condom... a few neighbors who didn't read the apartment contract that says that stereos are to be kept to a "reasonable" level... and a dozen or so absurdly stupid gangers. And I think that one of the neighbors in our building is a drug dealer.

Oh, and the neighbor(s) who drive Andara up the wall by smoking their blunts in the staircase below our window.

[Andara Bledin]

Don't forget we have the annual shooting, too.

Oh, and the pool in our block got closed by the city for being "contaminated."

And now they're keeping our laundry rooms locked until someone requests that they unlock them because some douchebag(s) keep doing things like, say, shitting in the machines...

^-.-^

[Pagan]

And now they're keeping our laundry rooms locked until someone requests that they unlock them because some douchebag(s) keep doing things like, say, shitting in the machines...

Do you live near a nuclear reactor? 'Cause...I....that....urk! All I can think of is the Peacock Family from "X-Files".