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  • Gonna Quilt Myself A Straitjacket

    b/g Own my own quilting business, sell on my website and at shows in the fall. I also am a magnet for nutters.

    Down to the wire!

    Did some custom quilting work for Forgetful Lady. She had been less forgetful lately - mainly because the other projects I finished for her all had hard deadlines, so she had to pick it up soon after I had her quilts finished.

    She decided to hire me to finish a quilt that she was keeping for herself. No big deal. Except that my sewing machine took a nosedive as I was doing the last part of her quilt. Contacted her and let her know what was going on and there was going to be a delay. Luckily all of my clients were understanding.

    Turns out that my sewing machine had to be shipped to Chicago for repairs, I was lucky to borrow my aunt's "backup" machine, a 1962 Japanese made one. Not many bells or whistles, but at least I'm back in business.

    The fun thing about Forgetful Lady - she doesn't answer emails, phone calls or facebook messages. The only way I can get hold of her is through text messages. So I text her and let her know that her quilt is finished and what the total is. She responds that she will pick it up the next weekend. Well, I get working on other projects and the weekend comes and goes. I contact her again and she sets another pick-up time, two weeks away. Fine no problem. She misses this next pickup. I find out from a mutual friend that Forgetful Lady has accepted a job offer in another state and will be moving soon (!).

    I really don't want to have to ship a quilt out to her, so I contact Forgetful Lady again, reminding her that I still have her quilt. She jokes with me that she does really need to pick it up (ya think?) because she's moving in 2 weeks. Holy cow. We agree again for her to pick it up over the weekend because she really wants her quilt. I cancel all of my weekend plans and stay at home. She doesn't show. I contact her again, saying that I know she is busy with packing and is there a good time that I can come by her house and deliver her quilt. Well no, that just won't do. She claims to be coming by every evening and never shows. Finally on the night before she's leaving town, at nearly 11pm, she shows up to pay me and pick up her quilt.

    Whew.
    She promises that she will mail me her things so I can finish them because she loves my work so much.

    Economics 101

    I have a client that I have made T-shirt quilts for in the past. She emailed me, and messaged me on Facebook and Etsy telling me that she wanted to order another T-shirt quilt and to please call her because I am really hard to get in contact with. Uhm, okay? I call her back and she tells me that she is out shopping and will call me back when she gets home.

    That was in February.

    She calls me again on a Sunday morning, asking if I remember her and that she is in town today and can she meet me to drop off her shirts for the quilt. Well, okay. At least she gives me time to straighten things up, print out a contract, etc.

    So she shows up early, we get to talking business, filling out my contract with info on how she wants the quilt done, you know and we get to the point where she needs to pay a down payment. I had discussed the price before both in February and earlier that day when she called. She acted all surprised at the cost, saying "Wow it's that much? When you made my other quilts in 2006 they were cheaper." I told her that in 2006 I was just starting out, and that I have won 21 ribbons at the State Fair and even my "Demo" T-shirt quilt placed 3rd in the T-shirt quilt category. That seemed to help. Inwardly I was wondering if she thought that prices didn't go up ever? It's been 9 years, if the price hadn't gone up I'd worry. But whatever.

    Chemicals are bad m'kay?

    This one started out normal. I had just listed a bunch of new quilts and was (and still am) fielding lots of emails answering questions about them. I received an email about two of my quilts from the same person, asking if both quilts were indeed 100% cotton. Pretty normal. I respond that yes I do use 100% cotton fabrics, thread and batting in my quilts, because that's what I like to work with.

    She wanted a quilt with the space shuttle on it and besides from the obvious one that I have, was asking if another space one that I have also has the shuttle on it. I did have some of the fabric from that quilt leftover and found where it does indeed have two small space shuttles on it. I took a picture for her so she can see where on the fabric the shuttles were. Then things turn weird.

    She notices that on the other quilt that it has glow in the dark fabric. She asks me how the fabric can be 100% cotton and still glow in the dark. She asks about the "stuff" that makes it glow. Could it be a "chemical"? What about the other colors on the fabric? She also linked a website blurb where it says anything that glows in the dark has phosphorus in it and that it causes cancer and is bad for the planet.

    I honestly was stumped for a bit. Did she know know that fabrics are printed - with inks? And that myself as a crafter have no stinking idea what all the different fabric companies use for their inks? Generally it's not listed unless it's a selling point for the fabric (glow in the dark ink, vegetable based inks, etc) So I do the only thing I can do. I call the manufacturer. The nice secretary who answers the phone has no clue, of course. (The fabrics are all printed in another country) So she puts me on hold while she looks for someone who might know. After being on hold for nearly an hour, she comes back and tells me that they have no clue what's in their inks, other then they have been tested as child-safe. I asked about the glow in the dark ink. She says again that she has no idea. Great.

    I do some digging online and find out what chemicals most companies use for glow in the dark novelty products. Surprise - no phosphorus. I let Chemical Lady know what I've found out. She responds that she doesn't like "chemicals" in any of her things, and that I am lying in my listings because the fabric can't be 100% cotton when they have ink (chemicals!) on them. She tells me that she's not going to buy anything from me because I'm misleading. However she does thank me for all my help.

    That's why I needed a drink at 9:30 in the morning.
    https://purplefish-quilting.square.site/

  • #2
    Phosphorous? I figured they just used the radioactive material that glowy watch hands/dials "allegedly" use. So, no worries there.

    I was halfway through that first account and the only thing going through my mind was, "Please tell me she paid in advance..." >_<
    "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
    "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
    "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
    "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
    "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
    "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
    Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
    "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

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    • #3
      Hate to tell you, Chemical Lady, but everything on the planet is made up of chemicals. There's a whole field of study about it called Chemistry. That and I doubt you're going to find any company that uses phosphorus in fabrics these days. It's like the radium clocks. When it was used, we didn't know how toxic it was for everyday use. Now we do, so we don't use it for that anymore.

      Out of curiosity, have you ever considered getting a table at a local comic con? The last con I went to had a booth selling nerd-themed candles. Really, the candles were just regular candles, but had nerdy names. And they were selling like hotcakes. Heck, I bought two myself and if she's at the next one, I'll buy more. There was also a local chocolatier selling dalek and Death Star shaped candies. I could easily see a market for nerd-themed quilts. And from my experience, nerds are much less likely to argue about pricing. They'll happily pay out the nose for a Tardis quilt.
      I am no longer of capable of the emotion you humans call “compassion”. Though I can feign it in exchange for an hourly wage. (Gravekeeper)

      Comment


      • #4
        Living in hippie-land (which I love, don't get me wrong) I get lots of questions about what is in the fabrics. No, we don't know if it's a synthetic dye, or plant based, or what. Even the organic cotton we sell doesn't say anything about the dye, unless it's changed and I missed it. We only have limited amounts of the organic cotton, and not much other natural fibers like wool, silk or linen. Look, you're shopping at a big box retailer which won't sell something unless it makes tons of money, and nationally people don't want to spend $14.99 on quilting fabric, organic or not. /rant!

        Who thinks prices are going to stay the same for 9 years? SCs, that's who. Many contracts (like roofing, or other construction) will say that the prices are good for a certain number of days. 90, or 60 I think is common.
        Replace anger management with stupidity management.

        Comment


        • #5
          Most of the sci-fi/ comic conventions are in Tulsa, which adds a 2 hour drive, plus the need for a hotel room to my usual show costs. A lot of my stuff is not really sci-fi. However I am working on Doctor Who potholders.

          I am looking at getting into my local Ren faire because I do have a lot of dragons/ knights/ unicorns/ pegasus type stuff, and they don't have anyone doing textile arts.
          Last edited by Kanalah; 07-30-2015, 09:38 PM.
          https://purplefish-quilting.square.site/

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth Kanalah View Post
            She asks me how the fabric can be 100% cotton and still glow in the dark. She asks about the "stuff" that makes it glow. Could it be a "chemical"? What about the other colors on the fabric? She also linked a website blurb where it says anything that glows in the dark has phosphorus in it and that it causes cancer and is bad for the planet.
            Quoth jedimaster91 View Post
            Hate to tell you, Chemical Lady, but everything on the planet is made up of chemicals. There's a whole field of study about it called Chemistry.
            I think chemical lady is confusing "phosphorescent" (keeps glowing for a while after the "exciter" illumination is removed) with "phosphorous" (the element). Both names are derived from the Greek word for "light" or "glow" (been a LONG time since I was studying it). Want to see her freak out? Tell her that your quilts need to be cleaned using Dihydrogen Monoxide.
            Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

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            • #7
              Teeheehee! I love the dihydrogen monoxide joke.
              I am no longer of capable of the emotion you humans call “compassion”. Though I can feign it in exchange for an hourly wage. (Gravekeeper)

              Comment


              • #8
                Quoth wolfie View Post
                ... Want to see her freak out? Tell her that your quilts need to be cleaned using Dihydrogen Monoxide.
                http://www.dhmo.org/truth/Dihydrogen-Monoxide.html

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                • #9
                  Quoth wolfie View Post
                  Tell her that your quilts need to be cleaned using Dihydrogen Monoxide.
                  Just remember, don't breathe that stuff in.
                  This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

                  I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

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                  • #10
                    If she's afraid of chemicals, I've got bad news for her.

                    EVERYTHING has chemicals in it. XD

                    (Edit: Gah, someone DID say that. )

                    If she meant synthetic chemicals, well, what doesn't have that now?
                    Last edited by Tee; 07-30-2015, 09:22 PM. Reason: I'm a bad person
                    I am a Blank Space for spacing purposes, ignore me.
                    In order to treat someone as your equal, you first need to believe both: that they are your equal, and that you are their's.

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                    • #11
                      All I know is that I now want a quilted straitjacket! How much to make me one of those?
                      Sorry, my cow died so I don't need your bull

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                      • #12
                        As soon as I get mine done, I'll let you know.
                        https://purplefish-quilting.square.site/

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I don't think No Chemicals lady really wants to avoid all Phosphorus. Why? It's vital to all forms of life (It's a part of both DNA and RNA strands.) In fact, the amount of phosphorus in a given ecosystem imposes a hard upper limit on how much life said ecosystem can support. (It's the second number on a bag of fertilizer.) Unlike nitrogen, it cannot be pulled from thin air by cooperative bacteria.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Quoth Kanalah View Post
                            As soon as I get mine done, I'll let you know.
                            Bah! You're too busy with all the weirdos you quilt for. You won't have time for me. Besides, once you get yours done, it'll make it harder for you to quilt with your hands tied behind your back.

                            *goes to look up straitjacket patterns*

                            BTW, Hubby is a psychologist, so the idea of me having a straitjacket of any kind, much less a prettily-quilted one, is hilarious!
                            Sorry, my cow died so I don't need your bull

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Quoth EvilEmpryss View Post
                              BTW, Hubby is a psychologist, so the idea of me having a straitjacket of any kind, much less a prettily-quilted one, is hilarious!
                              well I found this one in quilted leather
                              Honestly.... the image of that in my head made me go "AWESOME!"..... and then I remembered I am terribly strange.-Red dazes

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