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Yeah, I'M the idiot

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  • Yeah, I'M the idiot

    I was working at the grocery store once, and this old lady (about 10 years younger than Jesus, I'd say) comes up to me and asks (in the most stereotypical old lady voice you ever heard):

    OL: Excuse me, do you have Seventeen magazine?
    Me: We sure do! Right this way!

    I lead her to our newsstand and presented to her, quietly proud of myself for knowing where it was. Suddenly, OL says,

    OL: Wait, this isn't what I want!
    Me: Oh, I'm sorry, what was it you wanted?
    OL: That other one...
    Me: (thinking at this point she's looking for some teen magazine) Uhh, YM?
    OL: Sports Illustrated!!
    Me: Ok, it's right over here.

    So I lead her to the other newsstand...

    OL: Is this all you have?!
    Me: (For fuck's sake, Sports Illustrated is right in front of you!) Well, did you have something else in mind?
    OL: Baseball!
    Me: I didn't know that's what you wanted...
    OL: HOW CAN I TELL YOU WHAT I DON'T KNOW?!?!!?

    That's right, Granny Methuselah yelled at me like I was the moron when she's too fucking senile to know what the hell she wanted! I don't remember what happened after that, but it pissed me off so much!! God, I hate old people...
    "I used to be Snow White... but I drifted."~Mae West

  • #2
    I've always said they need to keep a better eye on the folks at the nursing homes. If they want to escape, they will.
    You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

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    • #3
      Quoth blas87 View Post
      If they want to escape, they will.
      True. My mom worked at a nursing home for a long time, and they'll escape no matter what you do. They found one old woman one time sitting on the edge of the street waiting for her husband to bring the horse-carriage to pick her up.
      "You are loved" - Plaidman.

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      • #4
        Quoth blas87 View Post
        I've always said they need to keep a better eye on the folks at the nursing homes. If they want to escape, they will.
        The warden always has several things on his mind, the prisoner only has one, escape. It can be a powerful advantage, until they stop to wait for the horse-carriage to get them.
        Check out my cosplay social group!
        http://customerssuck.com/board/group.php?groupid=18

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        • #5
          I had a friend who was going to school to be an RN once. She was doing her CNA thing at a local nursing home and she had to quit because she realized that dealing with old people was too difficult. Not because they are assholes, but because the ones with Alzheimers made her so sad and heartbroken herself. She couldn't bear the thought of them living another day in agony or even worse, having to say goodbye to them.
          You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

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          • #6
            I once let myself get talked into performing for a bunch of Alzheimer's patients at a nursing home. It was a bad idea. While I was trying to get through a beautiful, romantic tune, one old lady at the back kept screaming "Isn't he ever going to leave? Goddam son of a bitch!" over and over.

            On top of which, I didn't get paid.

            At least I got a good story out of it.
            "Wouldn't that be unethical?"
            "That's only an issue for those who aren't already in Hell."
            --Dilbert

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            • #7
              Quoth freaktard View Post
              ......one old lady at the back kept screaming "Isn't he ever going to leave? Goddam son of a bitch!"
              I'm sorry ma'am, I don't recognize that title.

              Perhaps you could hum a few bars?

              Mike
              Meow.........

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              • #8
                Quoth blas87 View Post
                I've always said they need to keep a better eye on the folks at the nursing homes. If they want to escape, they will.
                My great-uncle escaped from his old folks home. They found him, safe and sound. It was depressing all the same, though.
                I'm bringing disdain back...with a vengeance.

                Oh, and your tool box called...you got out again.

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                • #9
                  Quoth blas87 View Post
                  I've always said they need to keep a better eye on the folks at the nursing homes. If they want to escape, they will.
                  Yup. If they're physically able. My grandma would be a #1 candidate for escape, but the mobility just isn't there.

                  It can get bloody boring at those places though - my mom visits grandma nearly every day 1-3 hours each day and grandma still complains if she misses a day - even for a good reason. One time she greeted my mom with "we're leaving right now and I'm not coming back until after 9!" Sure enough, they went for a drive in the park, went out to dinner, and mom kept her out until 9:01. But it's sad, grandma didn't care what she was doing until 9, just that she wasn't at the assisted living memory care.

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                  • #10
                    My grandmother's sister, who has alzhiemers escaped reguarly. One time we saw her walking down the side of the road.
                    I have PMS and a black belt. Any questions?

                    This random moment is brought to you by the letters A D and D.

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                    • #11
                      Quoth Kara_CS View Post
                      True. My mom worked at a nursing home for a long time, and they'll escape no matter what you do. They found one old woman one time sitting on the edge of the street waiting for her husband to bring the horse-carriage to pick her up.
                      (steps up on soapbox)

                      Ahem, allow me to tell you a little about a product I install and service everyday.
                      Roam Alert

                      No system, including this one, is 100% secure, but this will help the facility staff concentrate on their jobs, and not be worried about watching every resident and door in the building.

                      (steps down)

                      One plus of my job is getting to see all the different levels of care, so when it's time for my parents to go away, I can recommend places for them.

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