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    Troubleshoot (v) To employ technology and reason to best deduce how the customer just screwed this up.

    Any more?

    root@darkstar: mount -t iso9660 /dev/hdc /cdrom
    root@darkstar: cp -r /cdrom/lib/* /lib/*
    root@darkstar: crap
    -bash crap: command not found
    root@darkstar: man -k undo

  • #2
    Motherboard: What you probably just destroyed after I heard the fateful words "No, don't send a tech, I can do this." *Sizzle*

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    • #3
      Supportable Client: The people who bring us food.

      Jenni
      SC: “Yeah, Bob’s Company. I'm Bob. It's my company.” - GK
      SuperHotelWorker made my Avi!!

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      • #4
        Local Support : Your buddy who swore up and down that installing that new video card was "no big deal" and could do it for you in return for a beer.
        The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
        "Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
        Hoc spatio locantur.

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        • #5
          Good Customer: Expect you to install pirated software for them because they either

          A. "spend X amount with you guys, can't you do me just this one favor?" or
          B. are "broke"/cheap
          "I am quite confident that I do exist."
          "Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The Doctor

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          • #6
            Local Technical Expert:The guy down the street who can turn on the computer and that's it.
            I AM the evil bastard!
            A+ Certified IT Technician

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            • #7
              Warranty: That service contract you just voided by spilling a class of beer onto your laptop.
              Gun control is hitting your target; recycling is reloading your brass.
              "It's not our fault the Business School makes you buy those crappy Gateways!"
              "The queue is..."

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              • #8
                MODEM: What the customer just drilled through while trying to remove the "top" of it. !!
                The universe is mostly empty space, and so is your job. ~Dilbert

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                • #9
                  Stickied this one - makes it easier to turn this into front page material.

                  Cursetomer - a patron who cannot stop swearing.

                  Rapscallion

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                  • #10
                    I fired my webmaster: How you just lost your site. Next time, make sure your webmaster doesn't legally own the site before you try to screw him over.

                    I am a webmaster: You can create a hyperlink in FrontPage, and you think you're hot shiat.

                    root@darkstar: mount -t iso9660 /dev/hdc /cdrom
                    root@darkstar: cp -r /cdrom/lib/* /lib/*
                    root@darkstar: crap
                    -bash crap: command not found
                    root@darkstar: man -k undo

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Thanks Raps!

                      In-home tech support: Your little kid who you think knows everything about computers that got you into that mess in the first place.

                      I'm not gonna explain my role in THAT one.
                      I AM the evil bastard!
                      A+ Certified IT Technician

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                      • #12
                        BOX: (usage: my box ain't workin'.) 1. Modem 2. Router 3. Computer 4. Digital converter 5. Television 6. Video Game system 7. VCR 8. DVD 9. two are more of the previous items in combination 10. any other equipment connected directly or indirectly, intentionally or accidentally, to any other electronic item.
                        I was neat, clean, shaved and sober, and I didn't care who knew it. -- Raymond Chandler

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                        • #13
                          Void Warranty: It's either been 5 years since you bought the thing, or your kid thought that taking a hammer to that gamecube wouldn't break it. Either way, it means no matter how "good" the warranty was, you can't use it.

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                          • #14
                            Complies with accessibility guidelines: The main content is done in Flash (or Shockwave, or Buzzword-of-the-week), but the contract the techs have says to make the rest of the site accessible to the disabled.


                            (Yes, I was on the tech team for that one. We did what we could.)
                            Seshat's self-help guide:
                            1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
                            2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
                            3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
                            4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

                            "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

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                            • #15
                              Laptop That thing which gets insanely hot and nearly starts a fire that the customer complains about. Typically caused by a large ammount of dust or pubic hair in the fans.

                              Keyboard An object specifically designed to attact all manner of dirt, dust, and hair. Sometimes used to type.

                              Stuck Key An error that is directly related to how much cola was spilled on the keyboard. At least you hope it was cola.

                              ID ten T error Used by tech support to explain that the customer screwed it up himself. Usually tacks on a 50% higher charge to fix.
                              Learn wisdom by the follies of others.

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